Counting down until I can test... anyone want to talk??? I'm panicking....

Here's my deal... I'm 20... This may sound weird but i'm ready to be a mother... but not ready to have a baby... and its really really soon in the relationship for me and my boyfriend to even think about having kids... yes i know absitinence should have been a factor but it wasnt...

I tested a few days ago and it came back with what i think was a faint line but i'm not 100% sure so i'm testing in the morning... i'm going to black friday shop for pregnancy tests... I plan on getting up around 4am texas time and going to test... I'm extremely nervous...

I'm trying to think up the good parts of being pregnant to keep myself from panicking to badly... If i stay in denial saying oh i'mnot i cant be then i'll freak out worse if i am... if i am then i'm prepared mildly at least for the result... So i'm doing silly things like picking out nursery colors... because thats how i handle things...

I'm not a teenybopper teen type who thinks its all fun and games and dress up and such... i understand that its a life changing and hard hard hard thing to do...

But if anyone could tell me some good fun distracting but baby related things i think it would help me for now... until i can test and find out for sure...

I havnt missed my period yet... i just feel odd... i've had a Miscarraige before... and i just feel pregnant... i cant really explain it right... my boyfriend and I used a condom the one time this month we were together... and i dont think it broke or anything... the only reason i took the first test was just kinda a OH i found a test from before when i accidentally bought a 2 pack i'll take it just for the heck of it... and it came back kinda faint... so now i'm worried...

anywho fun things i'm trying to distract myself with...

Names:

Boy - Damon Richard (my boyfriend picked Damon when we were talking in hypotheticals about the future awhile ago Richard is my grandfather)

Girl - Esther JoAnna (Josie like Joe Zee for short from JoAnna)

Nursery Colors:

Boy - Black White and Blue

Girl - Black White and Pink

Nursery Themes:

Boy - Puppies or Fish (i'm leaning more towards fish)

Girl - Butterflies

anything to add to it??? or advice or something??? Please help me...