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Pregnancy Pregnancy

HUGE baby. I need advice really badly. Doulala, I need you! And everyone else too. PIOG

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I had my 28 week appt on Thursday night. Let me preface this update by saying that I am an American living in Poland with my hubby and son. we've been here for 3.5 years. The idea on childbirth is much different here. The doctors dont get any extra money from performing a c section, so the rate of c section is much lower than in the US. (I had a c section with my son in the US in 2009 for a failed induction) My hubby and I decided to move back to the US in the next few years. But first we decided it would be better to have our last child here so I have a better chance at having a vbac. I have a doctor that up until now, I have loved. She was with me through a loss last year and it very much into doing things naturally. (when my iron was low, she give me a recipe for pickled beets instead of telling me to take an iron supplement) At my appt on Thursday, she did a u/s and my baby boy was measuring 31 weeks. :-( 1600 grams. Thats about 3.5 pounds. My dates are not off. I passed the glucose test with flying colors....I dont have eclampsa. Im as fit as a fiddle. I just make some big babies! DS1 was 11 lbs 6 oz and 22.5 inches long. She told me that its very likely that I will have another c section. :-( This conversation crushed me. Ive been thinking of nothing else since then. She said that this baby will be really big too, (probably bigger than my first) and she is worried about things like shoulder distocia, and my previous c section scar opening. She said that at 40 weeks, she's going to look at three things....1. the position of the baby, (he needs to be head down) 2. the estimated weight  3. the thickness of my internal scar via u/s. If the scar is looking thinned out, the baby is measuring over 4.5 kilos, and is not head down, she will reccomend a repeat c section. Of course she told me its my choice, but also mentioned that if I attempt a vaginal birth and something starts to go wrong, that NONE of the doctors will touch me for fear of being blamed for major injury or death. This frightened me. I dont know what to do now. I was induced last time and I think that had a lot to do with why I had the c section. Unless Im 42 weeks, I will refuse induction. I want my body to go into labor naturally. IF my body starts labor, and the labor process stalls or the baby's heartrate goes down, then of course, I will agree to a c section. I dont want to put my child's life at risk. So should I attempt a vaginal birth even though I will likely have a 12 lb + baby? I know that people always say that women can birth big babies......but I think they're talking about 10 pounds big, not 12 or 13 or 14 lbs!!!! What do you ladies think? I really dont want to distroy my body or hurt my baby. Should I just agree to a repeat section? Or should I let my body try? Im at such a loss. My hubby isnt much help. He used to be supportive untill Thursday and now he's telling me he's afraid I'll take it too far just to get what I want. He's afraid he'll loose baby AND me. I feel like crying all the time. I dont want to have another c section. I dont want to stay in a hospital for 5 days (standard here) where no one speaks English, wondering what they are doing to me and putting into my IV. I dont want to have antibiotics (preventitive) cause me to get thrush in my breast and pass that back and forth between me and baby and eventually give up on BF because it hurts so much. I dont want to have retained placenta a month after my c section and have another major vaginal hemmorage during a dinner party and get rushed to the ER and then have an unmedicated D&C in my doctor's office the next day. I dont want to go through months of trying to find the right formula for my baby and rushing him to the ER for constipation issues, all because I didnt BF longer than a month, again. finally, I dont want to do all this while living in a country away from my friends and family with no help. can anyone offer me some words of kindness and advice?

by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 3:02 AM
Replies (11-20):
amc103
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:05 AM

Hey, thanks for that site! I will check it out for sure. Thats the thing, I want to at least give my body a chance to do what it needs to. I think its only fair to me. Thank you again!

Quoting Angela4boys:

Personally, unless you have a very narrow pelvis, I think you can have a vaginal birth with a 13+ pounder if it's important to you. Our bodies are meant to accommodate. I don't know if I am allowed to recommend websites, but there is a great blog called birth without fear. It's great! Lots of v-bac success stories, and natural birth stories of BIG babies. You have to go in with a positive attitude ( but be flexible). Have faith in your amazing body :)


amc103
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:08 AM

Thats true about the u/s measurements....my last tech said DS1 would be 9 lbs and he was 11 lbs 6 oz so it was way off! LOL! He didnt start to measure big till the very end, too. So maybe that means, since this LO is measuring big already, the u/s is off in the other direction! LOL! I really really hope so. You know what else? She kept tellihg me on thursday that he was in a funky positon during the u/s. We couldnt get a clear side view profile shot. It was like he was tilted funny. Maybe that had something to do with such huge measurements? What do you think? Thank you for the kind words. 

Quoting orangeshirt:

Women getting c-sections are the risk takers. The risk of surgery is MUCH higher than the risk of VBAC.

To the OP, give it time. Late gestation u/s can be way off as far as weight and measurements. You have anywhere from 10 to 14+ weeks to go before you have to truly worry about this. Your body is not going to make a baby it cannot birth and any complications that may arise can be addressed at the appropriate time, but 28 weeks is not a time to be making these types of life-altering decisions or stressing out over maybes.


Quoting rayroe2:

Really I would just get the c section. I am not a risk taker. I had a vaginal birth still couldn't bf my dd because my boobs just got to swelled. I ff and yes she went threw some constipation but I never had to take her to the er. prune juice worked wonders. I know when your stressing it easier said then done but everything will be fine and everything will work out how it is suppose to. You lived there 3years so why wouldn't you know what they are saying?



Angela4boys
by Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:09 AM
1 mom liked this
Absolutely! It really can't hurt to at least try, you are going to be in a hospital setting, so if intervention is needed, it's there for you. Don't let that negative static get in your head!

Quoting amc103:

Hey, thanks for that site! I will check it out for sure. Thats the thing, I want to at least give my body a chance to do what it needs to. I think its only fair to me. Thank you again!

Quoting Angela4boys:

Personally, unless you have a very narrow pelvis, I think you can have a vaginal birth with a 13+ pounder if it's important to you. Our bodies are meant to accommodate. I don't know if I am allowed to recommend websites, but there is a great blog called birth without fear. It's great! Lots of v-bac success stories, and natural birth stories of BIG babies. You have to go in with a positive attitude ( but be flexible). Have faith in your amazing body :)


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amc103
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:13 AM
1 mom liked this

Agreed! You're wonderful! Thank you for the kind words! I WILL be positive. :-)

Quoting Angela4boys:

Absolutely! It really can't hurt to at least try, you are going to be in a hospital setting, so if intervention is needed, it's there for you. Don't let that negative static get in your head!

Quoting amc103:

Hey, thanks for that site! I will check it out for sure. Thats the thing, I want to at least give my body a chance to do what it needs to. I think its only fair to me. Thank you again!

Quoting Angela4boys:

Personally, unless you have a very narrow pelvis, I think you can have a vaginal birth with a 13+ pounder if it's important to you. Our bodies are meant to accommodate. I don't know if I am allowed to recommend websites, but there is a great blog called birth without fear. It's great! Lots of v-bac success stories, and natural birth stories of BIG babies. You have to go in with a positive attitude ( but be flexible). Have faith in your amazing body :)



trilliandent42
by Bronze Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:15 AM
1 mom liked this

I am not anymore.  I gave birth via c-section back in September.  We had some major drama the first week, but all is well!  BFing like a champ, and about 16 pounds now!  Couldn't be happier.

Quoting amc103:

You are so right...I should just focus on my beautiful baby right now. I know I'll miss being pregnant when Im not anymore...since he will likely be our last. Im sorry you got bad news too at 27 weeks. How far along are you now?

Quoting trilliandent42:

First off, relax...  There are a lot of "what ifs" going on.  Regardless of what happens, you are still going to have a beautiful child!  You had an emergency c-section before, right?  Planned c-sections are supposed to be a bit easier, if you have to go that route.  I know everything seems like it is out of control, but it will get better, and you will be okay.  Pregnancy is crazy, dangerous, and beautiful.  Enjoy the fact that you are growing a life inside of you, you don't have that much time left (only 12 weeks!)  I know news you do not want to hear from the Dr. is devastating, I went through it at 27 weeks, but it does get better, and everything will be okay.  Give your hubby a couple of days to process this, then look for support.  Men always need more time.   

hugs



mem82
by Ruby Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:17 AM
3 moms liked this
If your doctor who is completely pro natural, and has suggested you get a chance section if the baby gets as big as anticipated, and you should listen to her. Say I'm sorry that your birth may not go like you want but I am not sure childbirth is the place to stand your ground. The good luck on your choice.
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bchic24
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:19 AM
2 moms liked this
I say wait it out and see. And yes there are women who vaginally birthed 13-14lb babies. When I was 31 weeks I went in for a level ll sono and was told he was measuring at 36 weeks! I was induced (not because I had to but I was scared to do it alone so I scheduled it one day early so my mom could be there). I was told he would be 10+ lbs but he came out a healthy 8lbs 9oz! A bit bigger than average but still a pretty normal size.
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silka08
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 9:08 AM
1 mom liked this
I think your provider is offering a heads up on what *might* occur. I would continue preparing for natural labor while recognizing the possibility of a c section. At this point too many what ifs are still present.

Should you decide on section there are options. Consider talking with your doc about a scenario like this:

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=m5RIcaK98Yg&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dm5RIcaK98Yg
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butterflycircle
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 9:16 AM
1 mom liked this

aw I am so sorry that you are going through this. I would wait and see what that next u/s says and how your dr feels about everything. I would not risk your and the babies lives though. If the dr thinks that inducing you could work and your other option is a c-section, I would try induction first probably. I know you want your body to do everything on its own, but that doesn't seem likely.

I am sure this alllllll seems so much worst b/c you are away from home. Try to relax and breath and be calm. In the end of the day you and baby being ok is what is best. If you have a c-section, that deosn't mean it will go the same way it did before. Even with a c section every birth is different. Breastfeeding might go easier this time around. I had 2 vaginal births and breastfeeding was a horrible mess the first time and I quit. The second time it was hard but I did it. I had a fungal thing that happened when my baby was 6months old and it was the most painful thing I can imagine breastfeeding through my nipples were raw (not bleeding though) and I cried every time I nursed but we made it. 

I wish this could all go the way you want it to, maybe it will in the end. Even if it doesn't, at the end of the day having your bab yin your arms healthy and happy is most important though  : )

rayroe2
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 9:30 AM
1 mom liked this

right those type of things scare me! I know c section aren't safe and what not but I just think back and a lot of women have died from having "large babies" back in the day. So really I would just trust your gut and also not dismiss what your doctor is saying. IMO there nothing magical about either ways to give birth all that matter is that baby and mommy are safe. I know it must be scary being not in the USA when that is what you are used too.

Quoting amc103:

Im sorry you went through all that not fun stuff too. It definitley gives me a lot to think about. Ive lived here 3 years and Ive had the same dr the whole time and she's been singing a different tune the whole time Ive known her. (we can do a vbac-you're a good candidate, etc) Thats why I was so devastated on thursday...it was like she took a completley different approach that I had never seen. I honestly think the fact that he's measuring so big freaked her out too. 

Quoting rayroe2:

Really I would just get the c section. I am not a risk taker. I had a vaginal birth still couldn't bf my dd because my boobs just got to swelled. I ff and yes she went threw some constipation but I never had to take her to the er. prune juice worked wonders. I know when your stressing it easier said then done but everything will be fine and everything will work out how it is suppose to. You lived there 3years so why wouldn't you know what they are saying?



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