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HUGE baby. I need advice really badly. Doulala, I need you! And everyone else too. PIOG

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I had my 28 week appt on Thursday night. Let me preface this update by saying that I am an American living in Poland with my hubby and son. we've been here for 3.5 years. The idea on childbirth is much different here. The doctors dont get any extra money from performing a c section, so the rate of c section is much lower than in the US. (I had a c section with my son in the US in 2009 for a failed induction) My hubby and I decided to move back to the US in the next few years. But first we decided it would be better to have our last child here so I have a better chance at having a vbac. I have a doctor that up until now, I have loved. She was with me through a loss last year and it very much into doing things naturally. (when my iron was low, she give me a recipe for pickled beets instead of telling me to take an iron supplement) At my appt on Thursday, she did a u/s and my baby boy was measuring 31 weeks. :-( 1600 grams. Thats about 3.5 pounds. My dates are not off. I passed the glucose test with flying colors....I dont have eclampsa. Im as fit as a fiddle. I just make some big babies! DS1 was 11 lbs 6 oz and 22.5 inches long. She told me that its very likely that I will have another c section. :-( This conversation crushed me. Ive been thinking of nothing else since then. She said that this baby will be really big too, (probably bigger than my first) and she is worried about things like shoulder distocia, and my previous c section scar opening. She said that at 40 weeks, she's going to look at three things....1. the position of the baby, (he needs to be head down) 2. the estimated weight  3. the thickness of my internal scar via u/s. If the scar is looking thinned out, the baby is measuring over 4.5 kilos, and is not head down, she will reccomend a repeat c section. Of course she told me its my choice, but also mentioned that if I attempt a vaginal birth and something starts to go wrong, that NONE of the doctors will touch me for fear of being blamed for major injury or death. This frightened me. I dont know what to do now. I was induced last time and I think that had a lot to do with why I had the c section. Unless Im 42 weeks, I will refuse induction. I want my body to go into labor naturally. IF my body starts labor, and the labor process stalls or the baby's heartrate goes down, then of course, I will agree to a c section. I dont want to put my child's life at risk. So should I attempt a vaginal birth even though I will likely have a 12 lb + baby? I know that people always say that women can birth big babies......but I think they're talking about 10 pounds big, not 12 or 13 or 14 lbs!!!! What do you ladies think? I really dont want to distroy my body or hurt my baby. Should I just agree to a repeat section? Or should I let my body try? Im at such a loss. My hubby isnt much help. He used to be supportive untill Thursday and now he's telling me he's afraid I'll take it too far just to get what I want. He's afraid he'll loose baby AND me. I feel like crying all the time. I dont want to have another c section. I dont want to stay in a hospital for 5 days (standard here) where no one speaks English, wondering what they are doing to me and putting into my IV. I dont want to have antibiotics (preventitive) cause me to get thrush in my breast and pass that back and forth between me and baby and eventually give up on BF because it hurts so much. I dont want to have retained placenta a month after my c section and have another major vaginal hemmorage during a dinner party and get rushed to the ER and then have an unmedicated D&C in my doctor's office the next day. I dont want to go through months of trying to find the right formula for my baby and rushing him to the ER for constipation issues, all because I didnt BF longer than a month, again. finally, I dont want to do all this while living in a country away from my friends and family with no help. can anyone offer me some words of kindness and advice?

by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 3:02 AM
Replies (21-30):
chamelinmom
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 9:31 AM
1 mom liked this

my stepmothers kids were 12 and 13lbs. they were born 2 hours labor and vaginally without any medication...good luck mama

rayroe2
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 9:35 AM

I am not disagreing with you, I dont belive in getting c-setion just because you can but from the info provided if by 40wks I was still measuring that I had a "big baby" I would not take the risk of having one of us die in the process. Especially if I wasn't in the USA. Ain't no way. That is a higher risk then the high risk of c-section.

Quoting orangeshirt:

Women getting c-sections are the risk takers. The risk of surgery is MUCH higher than the risk of VBAC.

To the OP, give it time. Late gestation u/s can be way off as far as weight and measurements. You have anywhere from 10 to 14+ weeks to go before you have to truly worry about this. Your body is not going to make a baby it cannot birth and any complications that may arise can be addressed at the appropriate time, but 28 weeks is not a time to be making these types of life-altering decisions or stressing out over maybes.


Quoting rayroe2:

Really I would just get the c section. I am not a risk taker. I had a vaginal birth still couldn't bf my dd because my boobs just got to swelled. I ff and yes she went threw some constipation but I never had to take her to the er. prune juice worked wonders. I know when your stressing it easier said then done but everything will be fine and everything will work out how it is suppose to. You lived there 3years so why wouldn't you know what they are saying?



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orangeshirt
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 9:40 AM
1 mom liked this
It's possible, but he's bound to move into a more favorable position for everything very soon!


Quoting amc103:

Thats true about the u/s measurements....my last tech said DS1 would be 9 lbs and he was 11 lbs 6 oz so it was way off! LOL! He didnt start to measure big till the very end, too. So maybe that means, since this LO is measuring big already, the u/s is off in the other direction! LOL! I really really hope so. You know what else? She kept tellihg me on thursday that he was in a funky positon during the u/s. We couldnt get a clear side view profile shot. It was like he was tilted funny. Maybe that had something to do with such huge measurements? What do you think? Thank you for the kind words. 

Quoting orangeshirt:

Women getting c-sections are the risk takers. The risk of surgery is MUCH higher than the risk of VBAC.



To the OP, give it time. Late gestation u/s can be way off as far as weight and measurements. You have anywhere from 10 to 14+ weeks to go before you have to truly worry about this. Your body is not going to make a baby it cannot birth and any complications that may arise can be addressed at the appropriate time, but 28 weeks is not a time to be making these types of life-altering decisions or stressing out over maybes.





Quoting rayroe2:

Really I would just get the c section. I am not a risk taker. I had a vaginal birth still couldn't bf my dd because my boobs just got to swelled. I ff and yes she went threw some constipation but I never had to take her to the er. prune juice worked wonders. I know when your stressing it easier said then done but everything will be fine and everything will work out how it is suppose to. You lived there 3years so why wouldn't you know what they are saying?





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silka08
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 9:44 AM
2 moms liked this
Sorry, I need to point out some irony. You saod youre not willing to take the risk deliveri g outside the US. Are you aware the US has higher maternal infant mortality than cuba? Korea? And is only ranked 50th in the world for maternal death. This means 49 countries are safer to deliver in than the US.

Certainly not suggesting Op needs to risk vbac, but do want to point out from a statistical standpoint large babies are not a bigger risk than ceserean side effects. C sections carry significabt risks. Vbacs also, but the risk is lower. These decisions need to be basef on several factors on case by case basis, large baby alone meams little. Birthing position also plays a HUGE role. A woman on her back in traditional stir up position has a pelvic opening 30% smaller than almost any other birthing position.



Quoting rayroe2:

I am not disagreing with you, I dont belive in getting c-setion just because you can but from the info provided if by 40wks I was still measuring that I had a "big baby" I would not take the risk of having one of us die in the process. Especially if I wasn't in the USA. Ain't no way. That is a higher risk then the high risk of c-section.

Quoting orangeshirt:

Women getting c-sections are the risk takers. The risk of surgery is MUCH higher than the risk of VBAC.



To the OP, give it time. Late gestation u/s can be way off as far as weight and measurements. You have anywhere from 10 to 14+ weeks to go before you have to truly worry about this. Your body is not going to make a baby it cannot birth and any complications that may arise can be addressed at the appropriate time, but 28 weeks is not a time to be making these types of life-altering decisions or stressing out over maybes.





Quoting rayroe2:

Really I would just get the c section. I am not a risk taker. I had a vaginal birth still couldn't bf my dd because my boobs just got to swelled. I ff and yes she went threw some constipation but I never had to take her to the er. prune juice worked wonders. I know when your stressing it easier said then done but everything will be fine and everything will work out how it is suppose to. You lived there 3years so why wouldn't you know what they are saying?





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orangeshirt
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 9:49 AM
2 moms liked this
It isn't, but you're welcome to believe whatever OB-friendly stats you want. Also, keep in mind that we in the US have very, very bad neonatal and maternal outcomes when compared to other developed (and even some underdeveloped) nations.

We didn't write the book on safe labor and birth. In fact, it is quite the opposite. We simply wrote the book on over-medicalizing a perfectly safe and natural process for one overwhelming reason - MONEY (surgery and induction are not only profitable, they are more predictable which mistakenly leads hospitals and docs to believe that they are less costly, malpractice wise).

The lists of risks (ranging from fairly minor to injurious and fatal) for c-sections, particularly repeat c-sections, is MUCH longer than the short list of VBAC risks. Uterine rupture risk is present, but is minimal (less than 1.5% and even lower when inductions and epis are removed from the picture) and a vast majority of those ruptures aren't noticeable until either a c-section or subsequent unrelated abdominal surgery is performed, meaning the rupture is dangerous for neither mom nor baby.

Women will continue to die and suffer long-term ill-effects of labor and birth, as will babies, as long as we (in general) refuse to take the time to EDUCATE ourselves. We typically spend more time researching cribs, bedding, and rockers than we do labor and birth.

The only people who benefit from our ignorance are mainstream medical providers and insurance companies.


Quoting rayroe2:

I am not disagreing with you, I dont belive in getting c-setion just because you can but from the info provided if by 40wks I was still measuring that I had a "big baby" I would not take the risk of having one of us die in the process. Especially if I wasn't in the USA. Ain't no way. That is a higher risk then the high risk of c-section.

Quoting orangeshirt:

Women getting c-sections are the risk takers. The risk of surgery is MUCH higher than the risk of VBAC.



To the OP, give it time. Late gestation u/s can be way off as far as weight and measurements. You have anywhere from 10 to 14+ weeks to go before you have to truly worry about this. Your body is not going to make a baby it cannot birth and any complications that may arise can be addressed at the appropriate time, but 28 weeks is not a time to be making these types of life-altering decisions or stressing out over maybes.





Quoting rayroe2:

Really I would just get the c section. I am not a risk taker. I had a vaginal birth still couldn't bf my dd because my boobs just got to swelled. I ff and yes she went threw some constipation but I never had to take her to the er. prune juice worked wonders. I know when your stressing it easier said then done but everything will be fine and everything will work out how it is suppose to. You lived there 3years so why wouldn't you know what they are saying?





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rayroe2
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 9:49 AM

I said that because that is all I know and used to. now if I grew up in those places I would be saying the same thing if I was talking to someone in the USA lol I am not saying anything is better then the other everything as risk. I just would be so scared if I got told something could happen and they wouldn't touch me.

Quoting silka08:

Sorry, I need to point out some irony. You saod youre not willing to take the risk deliveri g outside the US. Are you aware the US has higher maternal infant mortality than cuba? Korea? And is only ranked 50th in the world for maternal death. This means 49 countries are safer to deliver in than the US.

Certainly not suggesting Op needs to risk vbac, but do want to point out from a statistical standpoint large babies are not a bigger risk than ceserean side effects. C sections carry significabt risks. Vbacs also, but the risk is lower. These decisions need to be basef on several factors on case by case basis, large baby alone meams little. Birthing position also plays a HUGE role. A woman on her back in traditional stir up position has a pelvic opening 30% smaller than almost any other birthing position.



Quoting rayroe2:

I am not disagreing with you, I dont belive in getting c-setion just because you can but from the info provided if by 40wks I was still measuring that I had a "big baby" I would not take the risk of having one of us die in the process. Especially if I wasn't in the USA. Ain't no way. That is a higher risk then the high risk of c-section.

Quoting orangeshirt:

Women getting c-sections are the risk takers. The risk of surgery is MUCH higher than the risk of VBAC.



To the OP, give it time. Late gestation u/s can be way off as far as weight and measurements. You have anywhere from 10 to 14+ weeks to go before you have to truly worry about this. Your body is not going to make a baby it cannot birth and any complications that may arise can be addressed at the appropriate time, but 28 weeks is not a time to be making these types of life-altering decisions or stressing out over maybes.





Quoting rayroe2:

Really I would just get the c section. I am not a risk taker. I had a vaginal birth still couldn't bf my dd because my boobs just got to swelled. I ff and yes she went threw some constipation but I never had to take her to the er. prune juice worked wonders. I know when your stressing it easier said then done but everything will be fine and everything will work out how it is suppose to. You lived there 3years so why wouldn't you know what they are saying?






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orangeshirt
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 9:55 AM
Women didn't die from having large babies. They often died from lack of sanitation and lack of appropriate attention (the world has gone through fits and spurts wherein religiously zealous men overtook the birth process and refused to care properly for a laboring woman, ignoring her issues because women were "less than" and ungodly).

Quoting rayroe2:

right those type of things scare me! I know c section aren't safe and what not but I just think back and a lot of women have died from having "large babies" back in the day. So really I would just trust your gut and also not dismiss what your doctor is saying. IMO there nothing magical about either ways to give birth all that matter is that baby and mommy are safe. I know it must be scary being not in the USA when that is what you are used too.

Quoting amc103:

Im sorry you went through all that not fun stuff too. It definitley gives me a lot to think about. Ive lived here 3 years and Ive had the same dr the whole time and she's been singing a different tune the whole time Ive known her. (we can do a vbac-you're a good candidate, etc) Thats why I was so devastated on thursday...it was like she took a completley different approach that I had never seen. I honestly think the fact that he's measuring so big freaked her out too. 

Quoting rayroe2:

Really I would just get the c section. I am not a risk taker. I had a vaginal birth still couldn't bf my dd because my boobs just got to swelled. I ff and yes she went threw some constipation but I never had to take her to the er. prune juice worked wonders. I know when your stressing it easier said then done but everything will be fine and everything will work out how it is suppose to. You lived there 3years so why wouldn't you know what they are saying?





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sissy852
by Gold Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 9:56 AM
1 mom liked this
try to relax. When i was preggo with my ds1 the estimated weight at 34 weeks was 6 14 but when i delivered him 3 weeks early he weighed 6 14. Those are only esimated weights. Enjoy being preggo
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silka08
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 9:56 AM
That is definitely and understandable fear. I think the OP needs to further discuss what would happen in different circumstances. I find it highly unlikely no doc would help as leaving her would be more of a liability. It sounds like if her doc recommends against VBAC it would be hard to find a doc to deliver. At this point doc had suggested a csection *might* be more appropriate but hasnt yet suggested against vbac, rather a wait and see approach.

Your feelings are certainly understamdable as far as comfort level goes. Just ironic from a medical standpoint ;-)


Quoting rayroe2:

I said that because that is all I know and used to. now if I grew up in those places I would be saying the same thing if I was talking to someone in the USA lol I am not saying anything is better then the other everything as risk. I just would be so scared if I got told something could happen and they wouldn't touch me.

Quoting silka08:

Sorry, I need to point out some irony. You saod youre not willing to take the risk deliveri g outside the US. Are you aware the US has higher maternal infant mortality than cuba? Korea? And is only ranked 50th in the world for maternal death. This means 49 countries are safer to deliver in than the US.



Certainly not suggesting Op needs to risk vbac, but do want to point out from a statistical standpoint large babies are not a bigger risk than ceserean side effects. C sections carry significabt risks. Vbacs also, but the risk is lower. These decisions need to be basef on several factors on case by case basis, large baby alone meams little. Birthing position also plays a HUGE role. A woman on her back in traditional stir up position has a pelvic opening 30% smaller than almost any other birthing position.







Quoting rayroe2:

I am not disagreing with you, I dont belive in getting c-setion just because you can but from the info provided if by 40wks I was still measuring that I had a "big baby" I would not take the risk of having one of us die in the process. Especially if I wasn't in the USA. Ain't no way. That is a higher risk then the high risk of c-section.

Quoting orangeshirt:

Women getting c-sections are the risk takers. The risk of surgery is MUCH higher than the risk of VBAC.





To the OP, give it time. Late gestation u/s can be way off as far as weight and measurements. You have anywhere from 10 to 14+ weeks to go before you have to truly worry about this. Your body is not going to make a baby it cannot birth and any complications that may arise can be addressed at the appropriate time, but 28 weeks is not a time to be making these types of life-altering decisions or stressing out over maybes.








Quoting rayroe2:

Really I would just get the c section. I am not a risk taker. I had a vaginal birth still couldn't bf my dd because my boobs just got to swelled. I ff and yes she went threw some constipation but I never had to take her to the er. prune juice worked wonders. I know when your stressing it easier said then done but everything will be fine and everything will work out how it is suppose to. You lived there 3years so why wouldn't you know what they are saying?









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orangeshirt
by Silver Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 10:06 AM
Women are told that here, as well. Some women are FORCED into inductions and c-sections either by threat of CPS involvement or by court order. OBs and hospitals are crossing the line, and women and babies are suffering as a result.

When you know better, you do better. When you stick only to what you are used to (as a whole, not just you in particular), you are doomed to make the same mistakes repeatedly.


Quoting rayroe2:

I said that because that is all I know and used to. now if I grew up in those places I would be saying the same thing if I was talking to someone in the USA lol I am not saying anything is better then the other everything as risk. I just would be so scared if I got told something could happen and they wouldn't touch me.

Quoting silka08:

Sorry, I need to point out some irony. You saod youre not willing to take the risk deliveri g outside the US. Are you aware the US has higher maternal infant mortality than cuba? Korea? And is only ranked 50th in the world for maternal death. This means 49 countries are safer to deliver in than the US.



Certainly not suggesting Op needs to risk vbac, but do want to point out from a statistical standpoint large babies are not a bigger risk than ceserean side effects. C sections carry significabt risks. Vbacs also, but the risk is lower. These decisions need to be basef on several factors on case by case basis, large baby alone meams little. Birthing position also plays a HUGE role. A woman on her back in traditional stir up position has a pelvic opening 30% smaller than almost any other birthing position.







Quoting rayroe2:

I am not disagreing with you, I dont belive in getting c-setion just because you can but from the info provided if by 40wks I was still measuring that I had a "big baby" I would not take the risk of having one of us die in the process. Especially if I wasn't in the USA. Ain't no way. That is a higher risk then the high risk of c-section.

Quoting orangeshirt:

Women getting c-sections are the risk takers. The risk of surgery is MUCH higher than the risk of VBAC.





To the OP, give it time. Late gestation u/s can be way off as far as weight and measurements. You have anywhere from 10 to 14+ weeks to go before you have to truly worry about this. Your body is not going to make a baby it cannot birth and any complications that may arise can be addressed at the appropriate time, but 28 weeks is not a time to be making these types of life-altering decisions or stressing out over maybes.








Quoting rayroe2:

Really I would just get the c section. I am not a risk taker. I had a vaginal birth still couldn't bf my dd because my boobs just got to swelled. I ff and yes she went threw some constipation but I never had to take her to the er. prune juice worked wonders. I know when your stressing it easier said then done but everything will be fine and everything will work out how it is suppose to. You lived there 3years so why wouldn't you know what they are saying?









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