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HUGE baby. I need advice really badly. Doulala, I need you! And everyone else too. PIOG

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I had my 28 week appt on Thursday night. Let me preface this update by saying that I am an American living in Poland with my hubby and son. we've been here for 3.5 years. The idea on childbirth is much different here. The doctors dont get any extra money from performing a c section, so the rate of c section is much lower than in the US. (I had a c section with my son in the US in 2009 for a failed induction) My hubby and I decided to move back to the US in the next few years. But first we decided it would be better to have our last child here so I have a better chance at having a vbac. I have a doctor that up until now, I have loved. She was with me through a loss last year and it very much into doing things naturally. (when my iron was low, she give me a recipe for pickled beets instead of telling me to take an iron supplement) At my appt on Thursday, she did a u/s and my baby boy was measuring 31 weeks. :-( 1600 grams. Thats about 3.5 pounds. My dates are not off. I passed the glucose test with flying colors....I dont have eclampsa. Im as fit as a fiddle. I just make some big babies! DS1 was 11 lbs 6 oz and 22.5 inches long. She told me that its very likely that I will have another c section. :-( This conversation crushed me. Ive been thinking of nothing else since then. She said that this baby will be really big too, (probably bigger than my first) and she is worried about things like shoulder distocia, and my previous c section scar opening. She said that at 40 weeks, she's going to look at three things....1. the position of the baby, (he needs to be head down) 2. the estimated weight  3. the thickness of my internal scar via u/s. If the scar is looking thinned out, the baby is measuring over 4.5 kilos, and is not head down, she will reccomend a repeat c section. Of course she told me its my choice, but also mentioned that if I attempt a vaginal birth and something starts to go wrong, that NONE of the doctors will touch me for fear of being blamed for major injury or death. This frightened me. I dont know what to do now. I was induced last time and I think that had a lot to do with why I had the c section. Unless Im 42 weeks, I will refuse induction. I want my body to go into labor naturally. IF my body starts labor, and the labor process stalls or the baby's heartrate goes down, then of course, I will agree to a c section. I dont want to put my child's life at risk. So should I attempt a vaginal birth even though I will likely have a 12 lb + baby? I know that people always say that women can birth big babies......but I think they're talking about 10 pounds big, not 12 or 13 or 14 lbs!!!! What do you ladies think? I really dont want to distroy my body or hurt my baby. Should I just agree to a repeat section? Or should I let my body try? Im at such a loss. My hubby isnt much help. He used to be supportive untill Thursday and now he's telling me he's afraid I'll take it too far just to get what I want. He's afraid he'll loose baby AND me. I feel like crying all the time. I dont want to have another c section. I dont want to stay in a hospital for 5 days (standard here) where no one speaks English, wondering what they are doing to me and putting into my IV. I dont want to have antibiotics (preventitive) cause me to get thrush in my breast and pass that back and forth between me and baby and eventually give up on BF because it hurts so much. I dont want to have retained placenta a month after my c section and have another major vaginal hemmorage during a dinner party and get rushed to the ER and then have an unmedicated D&C in my doctor's office the next day. I dont want to go through months of trying to find the right formula for my baby and rushing him to the ER for constipation issues, all because I didnt BF longer than a month, again. finally, I dont want to do all this while living in a country away from my friends and family with no help. can anyone offer me some words of kindness and advice?

by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 3:02 AM
Replies (41-50):
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:01 PM
Generally, yes...the section is still riskier in both the short and long term.

Quoting nikkifam5:

I was giving a scenario.

Quoting orangeshirt:

Baby isn't diagnosed as macro.

We don't know if the uterine wall is too thin.

Quoting nikkifam5:

I've never had to have a vbac but would it be riskier then a section in this case especially if the scar is thin and baby is macro?.. just genuinely curious

Quoting doulala:

There are greater risks with a surgical birth though.
Weighing risks and choosing what feels Right to an individual is what it's all about---   too personal for us to *tell* her what to do.     But knowing that a cesarean is very risky experience is important to factor in here, too.

Quoting nikkifam5:

I'm not saying she shouldn't. But what if by "trying" she ends up with a uterine rupture, which is more risk to her and baby. I would never want a section but id trust a Dr over there more then a Dr here any day

Quoting doulala:

You are probably living in a safer environment than where I live (U.S) because cesareans are frequently unnecessary.
How about consulting with another care provider?     I would look into another opinion.

And personally I would never choose a cesarean without trying for a normal delivery first.     But with this doctor that might not be an opportunity...  ?

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by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 8:04 PM
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mel, rest assured you could always just opps show up in the active late stage of active labor when your closer to 10, they just have to prepare for you to push! haha

 also yes the medical risks are far higher for a repeat c-section than for a vbac, the big fear  they have with vbac is uterine rupture the statistics though are extreamly low and not much above spontnious ones in women who have had no uterine surguries or abdominal surgury prior. id didnt  rupture with my 2nd child i did a vbac with,  and on a sad note 2 months ago i did a 2nd vbac for stillbirth. there was no heartbeat at 38 weeks, she died from a rare and sever birth defect. the geneticist said it was amazing she had even made it that far into the pregnancy as most with her condition  are lost early 1st trimester. my plan with her was to home birth with a midwife, but we ended up induced in hospital because she passed before  getting to go into labor at all. our midwife and her assitant stayed in there with us the whole time 3 days, helping me and my husband handle it.

 ultrasound can be off by alot a asshat dr claimed my 2nd child was at 10 lbs at the 36th week.... dipshit she was 6 lbs 12 oz born 6 days early from due date. he was a prick saying id never do a vbac, blah blah blah bout my gestational diabetes, didnt even look at my blood sugar records how id done very well controling it through diet. my reg ob ripped him a new one, she was confidant i could do it and that baby wasnt as big as he was saying she was only off by a few ounces with her guess it was 7 lbs

Quoting amc103:

Yes, I know you're right. I shouldnt worry about it just yet. Im glad that you're measuring right on target now. :-) It must be good news. Im sorry you cant do a vbac. :-( Any chance of a home birth? I would really consider this if I lived in the US still. Thank you for the calm words. :-)

Quoting melroseb1230:

The bad thing about measurements like that is they can be off by a couple of lbs. and the weekly measurement can change also. I really wouldn't worry too much about it yet.  I measure three weeks big during most of my pregnancy, now at 38 wks I am measuring right on target. I would love to be able to try for a vbac but unfortunately the only hospital where I live doesn't allow them.  Wait it out a bit then make your decision.

by Mandy on Dec. 8, 2012 at 11:02 PM

The best advice I can give you is to read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. There are some stories in there that will probably really help you.

This really is a decision that only you can make. No one can tell you what you should do.

You said your first c-section was in the US right? And you have a doctor you trust now? I think you can have faith that the experience won't be as bad as the first time. You should talk to your doctor about all your concerns with the actual c-section and hospital stay and see what the 2 of you can work out. Like no antibiotics and nothing in your IV without your consent. You may not be in the US, but you still have the same rights to your body. Do you have a friend over there who speaks both languages and could be there with you to interpret and be the go between?

And a very important question. Do you feel like baby is that big? Do you feel like baby is bigger or smaller than your first baby was at this gestation? I would go based on your instincts to decide if you believe baby really is THAT big or not.

by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 3:07 AM

Quoting mem82:

If your doctor who is completely pro natural, and has suggested you get a chance section if the baby gets as big as anticipated, and you should listen to her. Say I'm sorry that your birth may not go like you want but I am not sure childbirth is the place to stand your ground. The good luck on your choice.
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by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:04 AM
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Just keep in mind your options and wait until the end where they check measurements. Ultrasound can be quite off when it comes to baby weights. At 28 weeks my ds was almost 3 lbs according to ultrasound. He weighed 8lbs even at birth. You as a mom can generally tell how big they might be. Look up leopolds maneuver, still not accurate but I feel gives a better idea. I did it with all of mine and was pretty much right how big they would be as well as my doc. Never did an ultrasound.
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by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:22 AM
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If it were me, I'd have the c-section. I wouldn't want to risk my baby or me. I know its not your first choice, but at least you know there shouldn't be complications.
by Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:27 AM
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 There are more potential compications with c-sections than with most vbacs. OP, I wouldn't worry too much at this point. Carry on assuming you will get your vbac. Stay active, eat healthy, and go for it! If you have to have repeat c-section you at least know that you did everything you could to have your vbac, if it doesn't work it doesn't work. But I would not assume at this point that the vbac will be impossible.

Quoting blessedbyGod141:

If it were me, I'd have the c-section. I wouldn't want to risk my baby or me. I know its not your first choice, but at least you know there shouldn't be complications.


by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:32 AM

You're going to have a big baby..that puts you and the baby at risk if you try to do this naturally.  You say you do not want to put the baby or you at any risk and yet here you are asking what to do. So, here is what I think you should do: If your previous c-section was there and not in the States, then move back to the states, find a good doctor and do what they suggest.

You sound like you really do not trust the situation there. (I was not clear on where your 1st section was done, there or here) It sounds like whatever happened last time, has ruined your trust and if that is the case, staying there to have this baby is a bad decision for you.  I also think trying to have a big baby naturally, against medical advice, is really stupid. I think your doctor right now, has been pro-vbac...and still is...however, with this doc talking about the chance of c-section for YOU...that is something you should really listen to.

Let the doctors take care of you and agree to a C-section, if the docs believe that a c-section is the safer route.  You are trying to control things that you really have no control over.  If you refuse induction at a time that the doctor would like to induce, you are making THEIR job harder and...that means putting you and baby at risk...again, you say you do not want to put the baby at risk and all through your post, you are doing just that by trying to control everything.  

You say you trust your doctor..then TRUST the doctor.  Stop trying to take the control away from the ones who do this for a living.  If you need antibiotics then get find out what you can take for yeast infection and start it immediately. If you had an emergency section the last time, scheduled ones are so different.  I just think, that trusting the docs that you have built a rapport with is really the best thing in the end.  If you trusted them in the past, continue to trust them now, even when they are talking about something you disaggree with.  They are talking abou this for YOU (not anyone else, just you and your situation) they talk about this for a good reason, so please, let them take care of you.

by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:35 AM

You need to follow your doctor's advice.  She is a medical professional, and you are not!  This is why we have doctors in the first place - to guide us towards the best decisions for our health.

Don't risk your baby's or your life to make a point.  Just do what your doctor recommends.  

by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:26 PM
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No complications with major abdominal surgery? Uh...don't think so.

Quoting blessedbyGod141:

If it were me, I'd have the c-section. I wouldn't want to risk my baby or me. I know its not your first choice, but at least you know there shouldn't be complications.

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