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HUGE baby. I need advice really badly. Doulala, I need you! And everyone else too. PIOG

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I had my 28 week appt on Thursday night. Let me preface this update by saying that I am an American living in Poland with my hubby and son. we've been here for 3.5 years. The idea on childbirth is much different here. The doctors dont get any extra money from performing a c section, so the rate of c section is much lower than in the US. (I had a c section with my son in the US in 2009 for a failed induction) My hubby and I decided to move back to the US in the next few years. But first we decided it would be better to have our last child here so I have a better chance at having a vbac. I have a doctor that up until now, I have loved. She was with me through a loss last year and it very much into doing things naturally. (when my iron was low, she give me a recipe for pickled beets instead of telling me to take an iron supplement) At my appt on Thursday, she did a u/s and my baby boy was measuring 31 weeks. :-( 1600 grams. Thats about 3.5 pounds. My dates are not off. I passed the glucose test with flying colors....I dont have eclampsa. Im as fit as a fiddle. I just make some big babies! DS1 was 11 lbs 6 oz and 22.5 inches long. She told me that its very likely that I will have another c section. :-( This conversation crushed me. Ive been thinking of nothing else since then. She said that this baby will be really big too, (probably bigger than my first) and she is worried about things like shoulder distocia, and my previous c section scar opening. She said that at 40 weeks, she's going to look at three things....1. the position of the baby, (he needs to be head down) 2. the estimated weight  3. the thickness of my internal scar via u/s. If the scar is looking thinned out, the baby is measuring over 4.5 kilos, and is not head down, she will reccomend a repeat c section. Of course she told me its my choice, but also mentioned that if I attempt a vaginal birth and something starts to go wrong, that NONE of the doctors will touch me for fear of being blamed for major injury or death. This frightened me. I dont know what to do now. I was induced last time and I think that had a lot to do with why I had the c section. Unless Im 42 weeks, I will refuse induction. I want my body to go into labor naturally. IF my body starts labor, and the labor process stalls or the baby's heartrate goes down, then of course, I will agree to a c section. I dont want to put my child's life at risk. So should I attempt a vaginal birth even though I will likely have a 12 lb + baby? I know that people always say that women can birth big babies......but I think they're talking about 10 pounds big, not 12 or 13 or 14 lbs!!!! What do you ladies think? I really dont want to distroy my body or hurt my baby. Should I just agree to a repeat section? Or should I let my body try? Im at such a loss. My hubby isnt much help. He used to be supportive untill Thursday and now he's telling me he's afraid I'll take it too far just to get what I want. He's afraid he'll loose baby AND me. I feel like crying all the time. I dont want to have another c section. I dont want to stay in a hospital for 5 days (standard here) where no one speaks English, wondering what they are doing to me and putting into my IV. I dont want to have antibiotics (preventitive) cause me to get thrush in my breast and pass that back and forth between me and baby and eventually give up on BF because it hurts so much. I dont want to have retained placenta a month after my c section and have another major vaginal hemmorage during a dinner party and get rushed to the ER and then have an unmedicated D&C in my doctor's office the next day. I dont want to go through months of trying to find the right formula for my baby and rushing him to the ER for constipation issues, all because I didnt BF longer than a month, again. finally, I dont want to do all this while living in a country away from my friends and family with no help. can anyone offer me some words of kindness and advice?

by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 3:02 AM
Replies (91-100):
orangeshirt
by Silver Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:30 AM
Unfortunately, many European countries are slowly adapting to the US model of maternity care. My friend lives in Germany and speaks of how doctors are inserting themselves into what has typically (and safely/successfully) been a MW-run field. Times are sadly changing and it isn't because these women NEED the help...they are actually faring better than American women.


Quoting piratepixie:

you said that the C section rate there was low and that doctors don't get extra money for them. so i would think that for your doctor to mention a need for you to have one, there would be a good reason for it. i know things can change and they may before you deliver. but frankly i think the risks that something could go wrong should really be closely considered and i would go with what the doctor recommends unless things have changed between then and now. a Vbac isn't worth you or your baby's life.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mama2gg
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 11:45 AM
Yes they have no real in field REAL births they help with HOSPITAL births which are NOT true labors or births because of induction, meds, progressive time limits etc

Quoting Rayawni:

Actually they have 4 years of residency training in the field of obstetrics and labor and delivery before they are ever on their own in practice.



Quoting mama2gg:

HORRID advice

Op follow what feels right there is NO SUCH THING as a too big of a baby I'm an ob nurse and have seen 12lb natural vbacs go better then 6lb vbac the SIZE of a baby has NOTHING to do with vbac

Your previous surgery and how it was closed
How long its been
And how strong your contractions are

that controls the out come

And natural vbac vs. Epi vbca makes not damn one difference at all other then an epi vbac can lead to a csection more often then not








Oh an educate YOURSELF ob in field have no IDEA about real labor they learn from BOOKS that are wrong most of the time and have no real self education






Quoting lruggio:

You're going to have a big baby..that puts you and the baby at risk if you try to do this naturally.  You say you do not want to put the baby or you at any risk and yet here you are asking what to do. So, here is what I think you should do: If your previous c-section was there and not in the States, then move back to the states, find a good doctor and do what they suggest.

You sound like you really do not trust the situation there. (I was not clear on where your 1st section was done, there or here) It sounds like whatever happened last time, has ruined your trust and if that is the case, staying there to have this baby is a bad decision for you.  I also think trying to have a big baby naturally, against medical advice, is really stupid. I think your doctor right now, has been pro-vbac...and still is...however, with this doc talking about the chance of c-section for YOU...that is something you should really listen to.

Let the doctors take care of you and agree to a C-section, if the docs believe that a c-section is the safer route.  You are trying to control things that you really have no control over.  If you refuse induction at a time that the doctor would like to induce, you are making THEIR job harder and...that means putting you and baby at risk...again, you say you do not want to put the baby at risk and all through your post, you are doing just that by trying to control everything.  

You say you trust your doctor..then TRUST the doctor.  Stop trying to take the control away from the ones who do this for a living.  If you need antibiotics then get find out what you can take for yeast infection and start it immediately. If you had an emergency section the last time, scheduled ones are so different.  I just think, that trusting the docs that you have built a rapport with is really the best thing in the end.  If you trusted them in the past, continue to trust them now, even when they are talking about something you disaggree with.  They are talking abou this for YOU (not anyone else, just you and your situation) they talk about this for a good reason, so please, let them take care of you.


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lruggio
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 8:53 AM

My baby was too big for me...sorry, not horrid advice to tell a woman to trust the doctor she has trusted all along.  I have seen lots of stuff too...it does not mean I have seen THIS woman and know HER personal situation.  Her doctor, however, is giving her advice not on ALL the other women out there, she is giving advice on HER and her unique needs.  There is always going to be circumstances that do not fit all situations so I think its important, that if you are going to have a doctor assist you with the birth, allow the doctor to assist you in the way the doctor feels is best for the patient..otherwise, why have a doctor at all.

Quoting mama2gg:

Yes they have no real in field REAL births they help with HOSPITAL births which are NOT true labors or births because of induction, meds, progressive time limits etc

Quoting Rayawni:

Actually they have 4 years of residency training in the field of obstetrics and labor and delivery before they are ever on their own in practice.



Quoting mama2gg:

HORRID advice

Op follow what feels right there is NO SUCH THING as a too big of a baby I'm an ob nurse and have seen 12lb natural vbacs go better then 6lb vbac the SIZE of a baby has NOTHING to do with vbac

Your previous surgery and how it was closed
How long its been
And how strong your contractions are

that controls the out come

And natural vbac vs. Epi vbca makes not damn one difference at all other then an epi vbac can lead to a csection more often then not








Oh an educate YOURSELF ob in field have no IDEA about real labor they learn from BOOKS that are wrong most of the time and have no real self education






Quoting lruggio:

You're going to have a big baby..that puts you and the baby at risk if you try to do this naturally.  You say you do not want to put the baby or you at any risk and yet here you are asking what to do. So, here is what I think you should do: If your previous c-section was there and not in the States, then move back to the states, find a good doctor and do what they suggest.

You sound like you really do not trust the situation there. (I was not clear on where your 1st section was done, there or here) It sounds like whatever happened last time, has ruined your trust and if that is the case, staying there to have this baby is a bad decision for you.  I also think trying to have a big baby naturally, against medical advice, is really stupid. I think your doctor right now, has been pro-vbac...and still is...however, with this doc talking about the chance of c-section for YOU...that is something you should really listen to.

Let the doctors take care of you and agree to a C-section, if the docs believe that a c-section is the safer route.  You are trying to control things that you really have no control over.  If you refuse induction at a time that the doctor would like to induce, you are making THEIR job harder and...that means putting you and baby at risk...again, you say you do not want to put the baby at risk and all through your post, you are doing just that by trying to control everything.  

You say you trust your doctor..then TRUST the doctor.  Stop trying to take the control away from the ones who do this for a living.  If you need antibiotics then get find out what you can take for yeast infection and start it immediately. If you had an emergency section the last time, scheduled ones are so different.  I just think, that trusting the docs that you have built a rapport with is really the best thing in the end.  If you trusted them in the past, continue to trust them now, even when they are talking about something you disaggree with.  They are talking abou this for YOU (not anyone else, just you and your situation) they talk about this for a good reason, so please, let them take care of you.



mama2gg
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 8:55 AM
Most women only HAVE ob because thats the only way insurance will cover the birth and costs of everything believe it or not most women DON'T WANT a ob

Quoting lruggio:

My baby was too big for me...sorry, not horrid advice to tell a woman to trust the doctor she has trusted all along.  I have seen lots of stuff too...it does not mean I have seen THIS woman and know HER personal situation.  Her doctor, however, is giving her advice not on ALL the other women out there, she is giving advice on HER and her unique needs.  There is always going to be circumstances that do not fit all situations so I think its important, that if you are going to have a doctor assist you with the birth, allow the doctor to assist you in the way the doctor feels is best for the patient..otherwise, why have a doctor at all.

Quoting mama2gg:

Yes they have no real in field REAL births they help with HOSPITAL births which are NOT true labors or births because of induction, meds, progressive time limits etc



Quoting Rayawni:

Actually they have 4 years of residency training in the field of obstetrics and labor and delivery before they are ever on their own in practice.





Quoting mama2gg:

HORRID advice

Op follow what feels right there is NO SUCH THING as a too big of a baby I'm an ob nurse and have seen 12lb natural vbacs go better then 6lb vbac the SIZE of a baby has NOTHING to do with vbac

Your previous surgery and how it was closed
How long its been
And how strong your contractions are

that controls the out come

And natural vbac vs. Epi vbca makes not damn one difference at all other then an epi vbac can lead to a csection more often then not











Oh an educate YOURSELF ob in field have no IDEA about real labor they learn from BOOKS that are wrong most of the time and have no real self education








Quoting lruggio:

You're going to have a big baby..that puts you and the baby at risk if you try to do this naturally.  You say you do not want to put the baby or you at any risk and yet here you are asking what to do. So, here is what I think you should do: If your previous c-section was there and not in the States, then move back to the states, find a good doctor and do what they suggest.

You sound like you really do not trust the situation there. (I was not clear on where your 1st section was done, there or here) It sounds like whatever happened last time, has ruined your trust and if that is the case, staying there to have this baby is a bad decision for you.  I also think trying to have a big baby naturally, against medical advice, is really stupid. I think your doctor right now, has been pro-vbac...and still is...however, with this doc talking about the chance of c-section for YOU...that is something you should really listen to.

Let the doctors take care of you and agree to a C-section, if the docs believe that a c-section is the safer route.  You are trying to control things that you really have no control over.  If you refuse induction at a time that the doctor would like to induce, you are making THEIR job harder and...that means putting you and baby at risk...again, you say you do not want to put the baby at risk and all through your post, you are doing just that by trying to control everything.  

You say you trust your doctor..then TRUST the doctor.  Stop trying to take the control away from the ones who do this for a living.  If you need antibiotics then get find out what you can take for yeast infection and start it immediately. If you had an emergency section the last time, scheduled ones are so different.  I just think, that trusting the docs that you have built a rapport with is really the best thing in the end.  If you trusted them in the past, continue to trust them now, even when they are talking about something you disaggree with.  They are talking abou this for YOU (not anyone else, just you and your situation) they talk about this for a good reason, so please, let them take care of you.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
lruggio
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 8:58 AM

...and that is the biggest issue with healthcare today...its driven by insurance companies and fear of malpractice suits and that changes the whole aspect of healthcare, in my opinion

Quoting mama2gg:

Most women only HAVE ob because thats the only way insurance will cover the birth and costs of everything believe it or not most women DON'T WANT a ob

Quoting lruggio:

My baby was too big for me...sorry, not horrid advice to tell a woman to trust the doctor she has trusted all along.  I have seen lots of stuff too...it does not mean I have seen THIS woman and know HER personal situation.  Her doctor, however, is giving her advice not on ALL the other women out there, she is giving advice on HER and her unique needs.  There is always going to be circumstances that do not fit all situations so I think its important, that if you are going to have a doctor assist you with the birth, allow the doctor to assist you in the way the doctor feels is best for the patient..otherwise, why have a doctor at all.

Quoting mama2gg:

Yes they have no real in field REAL births they help with HOSPITAL births which are NOT true labors or births because of induction, meds, progressive time limits etc



Quoting Rayawni:

Actually they have 4 years of residency training in the field of obstetrics and labor and delivery before they are ever on their own in practice.





Quoting mama2gg:

HORRID advice

Op follow what feels right there is NO SUCH THING as a too big of a baby I'm an ob nurse and have seen 12lb natural vbacs go better then 6lb vbac the SIZE of a baby has NOTHING to do with vbac

Your previous surgery and how it was closed
How long its been
And how strong your contractions are

that controls the out come

And natural vbac vs. Epi vbca makes not damn one difference at all other then an epi vbac can lead to a csection more often then not











Oh an educate YOURSELF ob in field have no IDEA about real labor they learn from BOOKS that are wrong most of the time and have no real self education








Quoting lruggio:

You're going to have a big baby..that puts you and the baby at risk if you try to do this naturally.  You say you do not want to put the baby or you at any risk and yet here you are asking what to do. So, here is what I think you should do: If your previous c-section was there and not in the States, then move back to the states, find a good doctor and do what they suggest.

You sound like you really do not trust the situation there. (I was not clear on where your 1st section was done, there or here) It sounds like whatever happened last time, has ruined your trust and if that is the case, staying there to have this baby is a bad decision for you.  I also think trying to have a big baby naturally, against medical advice, is really stupid. I think your doctor right now, has been pro-vbac...and still is...however, with this doc talking about the chance of c-section for YOU...that is something you should really listen to.

Let the doctors take care of you and agree to a C-section, if the docs believe that a c-section is the safer route.  You are trying to control things that you really have no control over.  If you refuse induction at a time that the doctor would like to induce, you are making THEIR job harder and...that means putting you and baby at risk...again, you say you do not want to put the baby at risk and all through your post, you are doing just that by trying to control everything.  

You say you trust your doctor..then TRUST the doctor.  Stop trying to take the control away from the ones who do this for a living.  If you need antibiotics then get find out what you can take for yeast infection and start it immediately. If you had an emergency section the last time, scheduled ones are so different.  I just think, that trusting the docs that you have built a rapport with is really the best thing in the end.  If you trusted them in the past, continue to trust them now, even when they are talking about something you disaggree with.  They are talking abou this for YOU (not anyone else, just you and your situation) they talk about this for a good reason, so please, let them take care of you.




mama2gg
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 9:00 AM
Oh i completely agree I spent years as an ob nurse and have heard and seen much... csections, induction, fetal deaths ALL CAUSED by insurance companies

Quoting lruggio:

...and that is the biggest issue with healthcare today...its driven by insurance companies and fear of malpractice suits and that changes the whole aspect of healthcare, in my opinion

Quoting mama2gg:

Most women only HAVE ob because thats the only way insurance will cover the birth and costs of everything believe it or not most women DON'T WANT a ob



Quoting lruggio:

My baby was too big for me...sorry, not horrid advice to tell a woman to trust the doctor she has trusted all along.  I have seen lots of stuff too...it does not mean I have seen THIS woman and know HER personal situation.  Her doctor, however, is giving her advice not on ALL the other women out there, she is giving advice on HER and her unique needs.  There is always going to be circumstances that do not fit all situations so I think its important, that if you are going to have a doctor assist you with the birth, allow the doctor to assist you in the way the doctor feels is best for the patient..otherwise, why have a doctor at all.

Quoting mama2gg:

Yes they have no real in field REAL births they help with HOSPITAL births which are NOT true labors or births because of induction, meds, progressive time limits etc





Quoting Rayawni:

Actually they have 4 years of residency training in the field of obstetrics and labor and delivery before they are ever on their own in practice.







Quoting mama2gg:

HORRID advice

Op follow what feels right there is NO SUCH THING as a too big of a baby I'm an ob nurse and have seen 12lb natural vbacs go better then 6lb vbac the SIZE of a baby has NOTHING to do with vbac

Your previous surgery and how it was closed
How long its been
And how strong your contractions are

that controls the out come

And natural vbac vs. Epi vbca makes not damn one difference at all other then an epi vbac can lead to a csection more often then not














Oh an educate YOURSELF ob in field have no IDEA about real labor they learn from BOOKS that are wrong most of the time and have no real self education










Quoting lruggio:

You're going to have a big baby..that puts you and the baby at risk if you try to do this naturally.  You say you do not want to put the baby or you at any risk and yet here you are asking what to do. So, here is what I think you should do: If your previous c-section was there and not in the States, then move back to the states, find a good doctor and do what they suggest.

You sound like you really do not trust the situation there. (I was not clear on where your 1st section was done, there or here) It sounds like whatever happened last time, has ruined your trust and if that is the case, staying there to have this baby is a bad decision for you.  I also think trying to have a big baby naturally, against medical advice, is really stupid. I think your doctor right now, has been pro-vbac...and still is...however, with this doc talking about the chance of c-section for YOU...that is something you should really listen to.

Let the doctors take care of you and agree to a C-section, if the docs believe that a c-section is the safer route.  You are trying to control things that you really have no control over.  If you refuse induction at a time that the doctor would like to induce, you are making THEIR job harder and...that means putting you and baby at risk...again, you say you do not want to put the baby at risk and all through your post, you are doing just that by trying to control everything.  

You say you trust your doctor..then TRUST the doctor.  Stop trying to take the control away from the ones who do this for a living.  If you need antibiotics then get find out what you can take for yeast infection and start it immediately. If you had an emergency section the last time, scheduled ones are so different.  I just think, that trusting the docs that you have built a rapport with is really the best thing in the end.  If you trusted them in the past, continue to trust them now, even when they are talking about something you disaggree with.  They are talking abou this for YOU (not anyone else, just you and your situation) they talk about this for a good reason, so please, let them take care of you.




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FrancineSmith
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 9:21 AM
2 moms liked this

I'm going for a VBAC too :)

Personally, I would at least have a trial of labor. You may end up with a c-section after all, but what is the harm in trying for vaginal if you are already in the hospital anyway? Hospitals are supposed to be in the business of saving lives. Even if you do rupture (which is rare) the chances of it being a catastrophe are even more rare. She said it was up to you, so take advantage of that "offer".

Also, ultrasound measurements are not 100% accurate. What if you end up having a 7 pound baby? You never know...

supercarp
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 9:23 AM

It doesn't make sense to compare the US c-section rate to that of other countries when our obesity and diabetes rates are so much higher than the rest of the world.

orangeshirt
by Silver Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 9:50 AM
1 mom liked this
All we are saying is that it is hardly beyond reason to consider that there were specific circumstances present during your labor/birth (as well as those of others) that may have hindered the natural ability of your body and your baby to work in concert to make delivery easier. These factors often include, but are certainly not limited to, positioning, interruptions, discomfort, environment, fear and tension, lack of warm compresses and oil applied to the perineum during birth, dehydration or hunger, medical augmentation or AROM, constant monitoring, medical pain management, etc. Each of these factors can interrupt the natural and normal birth process in which a woman's pelvis expands, the uterus contracts effectively, baby descends, and the cervix dilated appropriately to allow for any size baby to emerge.

The fact is that, evolutionarily, our bodies are able to adapt to large babies.

OPs doctor knows the situation, true. But so does OP. The only difference between OP and her doc is that her doc practices medicine, i.e. the treatment of illness, and is trained to view birth through that lens. Even the most natural-minded doctors have it in the back of their minds at all times that they are present to be involved, to treat, to prevent, to interfere. That is the crux of their training.

One things docs are NOT trained in is predicting the future. Her doc is trying to go beyond her scope by attempting to do so, and based on little to no evidence.


Quoting lruggio:

My baby was too big for me...sorry, not horrid advice to tell a woman to trust the doctor she has trusted all along.  I have seen lots of stuff too...it does not mean I have seen THIS woman and know HER personal situation.  Her doctor, however, is giving her advice not on ALL the other women out there, she is giving advice on HER and her unique needs.  There is always going to be circumstances that do not fit all situations so I think its important, that if you are going to have a doctor assist you with the birth, allow the doctor to assist you in the way the doctor feels is best for the patient..otherwise, why have a doctor at all.

Quoting mama2gg:

Yes they have no real in field REAL births they help with HOSPITAL births which are NOT true labors or births because of induction, meds, progressive time limits etc



Quoting Rayawni:

Actually they have 4 years of residency training in the field of obstetrics and labor and delivery before they are ever on their own in practice.





Quoting mama2gg:

HORRID advice

Op follow what feels right there is NO SUCH THING as a too big of a baby I'm an ob nurse and have seen 12lb natural vbacs go better then 6lb vbac the SIZE of a baby has NOTHING to do with vbac

Your previous surgery and how it was closed
How long its been
And how strong your contractions are

that controls the out come

And natural vbac vs. Epi vbca makes not damn one difference at all other then an epi vbac can lead to a csection more often then not











Oh an educate YOURSELF ob in field have no IDEA about real labor they learn from BOOKS that are wrong most of the time and have no real self education








Quoting lruggio:

You're going to have a big baby..that puts you and the baby at risk if you try to do this naturally.  You say you do not want to put the baby or you at any risk and yet here you are asking what to do. So, here is what I think you should do: If your previous c-section was there and not in the States, then move back to the states, find a good doctor and do what they suggest.

You sound like you really do not trust the situation there. (I was not clear on where your 1st section was done, there or here) It sounds like whatever happened last time, has ruined your trust and if that is the case, staying there to have this baby is a bad decision for you.  I also think trying to have a big baby naturally, against medical advice, is really stupid. I think your doctor right now, has been pro-vbac...and still is...however, with this doc talking about the chance of c-section for YOU...that is something you should really listen to.

Let the doctors take care of you and agree to a C-section, if the docs believe that a c-section is the safer route.  You are trying to control things that you really have no control over.  If you refuse induction at a time that the doctor would like to induce, you are making THEIR job harder and...that means putting you and baby at risk...again, you say you do not want to put the baby at risk and all through your post, you are doing just that by trying to control everything.  

You say you trust your doctor..then TRUST the doctor.  Stop trying to take the control away from the ones who do this for a living.  If you need antibiotics then get find out what you can take for yeast infection and start it immediately. If you had an emergency section the last time, scheduled ones are so different.  I just think, that trusting the docs that you have built a rapport with is really the best thing in the end.  If you trusted them in the past, continue to trust them now, even when they are talking about something you disaggree with.  They are talking abou this for YOU (not anyone else, just you and your situation) they talk about this for a good reason, so please, let them take care of you.




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
orangeshirt
by Silver Member on Dec. 11, 2012 at 9:55 AM
You don't think those issues were factored in? Ideally, the worldwide c-section rate should be 5-10%. The World Health Organization has given the US a goal of 15%, which is generous enough to account for our "special" issues.

But, believe me...they have controlled for those circumstances and STILL we lag far behind.


Quoting supercarp:

It doesn't make sense to compare the US c-section rate to that of other countries when our obesity and diabetes rates are so much higher than the rest of the world.


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