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How can I do this nicely...

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:50 PM
  • 13 Replies
This is baby #3 and with my first baby my hubby and SIL was in the room, second baby my mom, hubby, and SIL was there, now with this baby I only want my mom n hubby. I never wanted my SIL in the room and with the second made that clear I thought then when I in the middle f pushing I look and she ha pushed my mom out of the way. I was pissed but focused on pushing she left not long after baby was born and I never said anything to her. Now of course this time she's saying she will be there this is her first nephew bla bla she and I ain't close and she don't have anything to do with my kids after birth r holidays... I have made comments that I dot want her in there but if course she mouths off. This pregnancy has made me kinda mean so if she pushes her way in I might snap causing a huge family problem. So my options are not to even call her when I'm at the hospital ( then I have to keep hubby n his fam from calling) telling the dr I dot want her keep her out, or just being blunt and mean...what do I do?
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by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
squeakers2
by Bronze Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:52 PM
Tell her she can sit in the waiting room like everyone else and also make sure you tell every nurse and dr that walks in your room that you do not want her in the room.
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mama2gg
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:53 PM
Tell her uo front NO that you have never had a birth experience with JUST dh and you want that also talk to your dh she is HIS sister and needs to back you when you speak
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Becky.Mom.of.2
by Gold Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 12:00 AM
The nurses can keep her out if she tries to come in.
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Pandapanda
by Amber on Dec. 19, 2012 at 12:04 AM

Tell the hospital not to allow her in or just don't notify family.

kelly617
by Gold Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 12:05 AM

I agree with all the other ladies
Tell her NOW that you are not allowing her in the room. Talk to your DH that you will not be allowing her in the room and that he needs to back you up
And write out a birth plan that says you don't want her in the room AND tell the nurses that you don't want her there. They will act like bouncers and keep her out

If by some miracle she makes it in...tell the nurse IMMEDIATELY to have her removed. This is YOUR birth...not hers

mommyof2kids306
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 12:07 AM
With my daughter and son it was just the hubby with this one it's going to be just my hubby. But I would snap and flat out say stay out and if you have to tell the staff to keep her out I did that with my aunt but she never showed up at all


Quoting bfairbanks:

This is baby #3 and with my first baby my hubby and SIL was in the room, second baby my mom, hubby, and SIL was there, now with this baby I only want my mom n hubby. I never wanted my SIL in the room and with the second made that clear I thought then when I in the middle f pushing I look and she ha pushed my mom out of the way. I was pissed but focused on pushing she left not long after baby was born and I never said anything to her. Now of course this time she's saying she will be there this is her first nephew bla bla she and I ain't close and she don't have anything to do with my kids after birth r holidays... I have made comments that I dot want her in there but if course she mouths off. This pregnancy has made me kinda mean so if she pushes her way in I might snap causing a huge family problem. So my options are not to even call her when I'm at the hospital ( then I have to keep hubby n his fam from calling) telling the dr I dot want her keep her out, or just being blunt and mean...what do I do?

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pacificamom
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 12:08 AM


Quoting kelly617:

I agree with all the other ladies
Tell her NOW that you are not allowing her in the room. Talk to your DH that you will not be allowing her in the room and that he needs to back you up
And write out a birth plan that says you don't want her in the room AND tell the nurses that you don't want her there. They will act like bouncers and keep her out

If by some miracle she makes it in...tell the nurse IMMEDIATELY to have her removed. This is YOUR birth...not hers


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bfairbanks
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 12:18 AM
1 mom liked this
Thanks I'm definitely putting my foot down

Quoting kelly617:

I agree with all the other ladies
Tell her NOW that you are not allowing her in the room. Talk to your DH that you will not be allowing her in the room and that he needs to back you up
And write out a birth plan that says you don't want her in the room AND tell the nurses that you don't want her there. They will act like bouncers and keep her out

If by some miracle she makes it in...tell the nurse IMMEDIATELY to have her removed. This is YOUR birth...not hers

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Mrs.Andrews
by Mandy on Dec. 19, 2012 at 1:15 AM

I think you need to tell her that you have chosen to have an more intimate birth this time and don't want her there. Nicely of course. Then tell the hospital staff not to let her in no matter what. And don't call her when you are in labor. Your husband should be backing you up on this one.

doulala
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 1:36 AM

You can make a birth plan that specifies who is and who is not permitted to attend. 
You can have your doula be a "bouncer" and guard the door.
You
can speak with her or write an email or letter that says how sweet it is she wants to support you but you will include her AFTER the delivery instead.   'nuff said.


It's really important to have a comfortable environment for your labor.    Not just for enjoyment but also for health and safety.





  • Excretory, cervical, and vaginal sphincter muscles function best in an atmosphere of intimacy and privacy; for example, a bathroom with a locking door or a bedroom where interruption is unlikely or impossible.
  • These sphincters cannot be opened at will and do not respond well to commands such as “push” or “relax!”
  • When a person’s sphincter is in the process of opening, it may suddenly close if that person becomes upset, frightened, humiliated, or self-conscious.  Why?  High levels of adrenaline in the bloodstream do not favor (sometimes, they actually prevent) the opening of sphincters.  This inhibition factors is one important reason why women in traditional societies may have mostly chosen other women to attend them in labor and birth.  (Have you double-checked your birth plan?  Have you officially chosen who you want to attend your birth?)
  • The state of relaxation of the mouth and jaw is directly correlated to the ability of the cervix, the vagina, and the anus to open to full capacity.





Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers ~ strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.

~Barbara Katz Rothma


When you change the way you view birth, the way you birth will change. -Mongan


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