Advice for difficult decision, feeling emotionally abused
As of right now I am 35 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I have been put on bed rest due to high blood pressure and am waiting around for the results of a 24 hour urine test to test protein for pre-clampsia. Meanwhile,
The boyfriend and I found out I was pregnant on the forth of july, we found out officially the day before I was 13 weeks after multiple negative tests. At first we were confused as to what to do. I am now only 20 years old and we are not exactly financially stable, especially now that i've been put on bedrest. Eventually we got excited, making a registry and picking out names and he carried every little thing for me. He treated me like a genuine princess. About a month or two ago he went under a complete turn around. I have to beg him for attention or to help me up..help me carry things..sit with me through contractions. He now will not listen to me, barely answers me when I talk and when he came home from work today he wouldn't even be in the same room as me. He has become completely cold and emotionally abusive..accuses me of cheating on him.He won' touch me even to hold my hand or touch my belly when the baby moves.. I have tried everything but get nothing in return. I have spent the last week on bedrest crying quite literally all day. Which to me seems worse for my blood pressure then when I was working or anything before. I can't eat, the crying makes me throw up..no one checks on me to see if I need anything knowing I am stuck in bed and should not be going up and down stairs.
My mother has been trying to get me to move back in with her since announcing I was pregnant. I can not be around her for a minute without being pressured about it. I have moved from my grandmother's to my boyfriend's to my mothers multiple times during this pregnancy and I have lost all sense of having somewhere I can actually call home..I dread raising a child in this kind of enviroment.
My OB GYN has no interest or concern with me. When I did my 24 hour urine test I came to turn it in to the hospital the next day and they told me they didn't even have an order for it and it was useless to take. They made me feel as if it was my fault..I paged the doctor to call me back and she never did. TWICE. She doesn't stay in the room long enough for me to ask any questions..will not show up for appointments and not even call to tell me..leaves in the middle of appointments..I have to ASK her for the results of all my tests and BEG her for ultrasounds. I've only had two. She says I have hypertension and may need to be induced next week and I am terrified..
Tonight while stressing out I began to feel suicidal. I have no one to talk to who understands..no sense of comfort or home..no one to share any kind of excitement with..I decided to pack some things and come to stay with my mother..now sitting here I can't sleep and i'm still miserable..imagining the boyfriend out with his friends and not caring where I am. he won't answer any of my texts. I am at a loss for words as to how broken I feel and have no idea what to do. I fgured I would make an account and ask for some advice from other moms who may not be as biased as the people around me. Any response would be at the very least comforting.