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Sibling jealousy

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 3:51 PM
  • 10 Replies
So I am pregnant with my second child, we all agree that newborn babies are very demanding of attention and care.. I am very worried that my one year old daughter becomes jealous of her sibling and feels as if I didn't love her(that will shatter my heart). My first born loves attention( a lot of attention) she loves when everyone have their eyes on her.. I am sure I will be having a c-section so..between the pain, painkillers, the sleepless nights and a newborn...I am not sure if I'm going to have enough time to pay attention to her as she likes and demands from me....what could I do so she doesn't feel unloved or left out once the baby arrives???
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by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 3:51 PM
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Amycapl
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 3:56 PM
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Make her a big part of baby care!  Let her be near you as often as possible. Talk to her about the baby before baby arrives. So you have someone that can help you? DH, or mom or a good friend?  Also, if you don't mind my asking, why are you definitely having a section?

butterflycircle
by Silver Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 4:11 PM
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I have a 2 1/2 yr old and worry about the same thing. He doesn't want a baby and right now it is me and him most of the time. New borns are very demanding and I worry that he will be unhappy. I talk to him about the baby and all of the fun things he can help mommy do (hold the baby, tell the baby stories, read to the baby, help change the babies diapers...). My mom and MIL and a lot of family have said they can help too but I am not holding my breath. I plan on having ready to grab snacks at his level and books and things too so when I feed baby he can snack by us, I can read to him, we can watch tv....

Also I plan to try to keep his routine as normal as possible. I lay with him when it is nap time and bed time until he falls asleep and I am going to try my best to do this when baby comes too. 

mommys2babies
by Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 4:18 PM
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Let her help you do thing like going & getting a diaper or wipes, bath towel or lotion for baby. I am in same boat as you. I have a 15 month old & am due next month
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KPJ
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 5:00 PM
I will be having a c-section because I had one already...when I delivered my daughter in 2011


Quoting Amycapl:

Make her a big part of baby care!  Let her be near you as often as possible. Talk to her about the baby before baby arrives. So you have someone that can help you? DH, or mom or a good friend?  Also, if you don't mind my asking, why are you definitely having a section?


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soaringflutes
by Bronze Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 5:09 PM
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My sister is two years older than me, and apparently was jealous of me too, but not all the time.  She did cover me with desitin once though...lol

Amycapl
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:03 PM
Quoting KPJ:




Just as an fyi, you do not have to automatically have a repeat section. Plenty of women have successful vaginal births after c sections. I will be attempting it myself! I only mention it to give you a less painful recovery option :)
mrs.autry21
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:11 PM
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I'm really worried about this too. The baby and my youngest will be 22 months apart and she is always the center of attention. My oldest daughter is 5 am she did great when my 2nd daughter came. For her we just let her help out which she loved to do until a certain age. I plan to do the same withy 2nd and this baby. I think it'll be a lot more challenging though because she has such a temper and zero patience so she'll hate not being 1st.
KPJ
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 3:12 AM
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Hmm... That's good to know.. I thought that by default I had to get a C-section... But then again I'm scared to try a regular delivery o_O what if I have a chubby baby and my birthing canal is too narrow?! That could be really painful I imagine! I am really petite I am only 4'11 in height... But that's something to think about though..


Quoting Amycapl:

Quoting KPJ:






Just as an fyi, you do not have to automatically have a repeat section. Plenty of women have successful vaginal births after c sections. I will be attempting it myself! I only mention it to give you a less painful recovery option :)

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mnmo3bb
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 3:20 AM
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I just had my fifth and never had issues. Our first two are 14 months apart so she doesn't remember life without her brother... 2nd & 3rd are 2 years, 7 months apart but the older two kept each busy... Our biggest gap is 3 years (#4 & 5) and so far my 3 year old adores her 2 week old brother. I agree with others, include her in the baby care, try to spend time with her and the baby. There will be an adjustment time but once you can be awake more during the day you can use baby's naps for one on one time with your oldest. Also make sure visitors ooh and Aw over her as well and not just the baby. Some people are usually good about getting both babies a gift or talking to the older children about their new baby brother or sister.
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MichaelsMom0711
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 4:31 PM
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I am worried about this too. My son will turn 2 less than 2 weeks before my due date and he loves being the center of attention too! Everyone has to watch when he does things and he demands applause and cheers too! he also likes you to stop everything and read or play with him if he brings over a book or takes you by the hand to play. i will feel bad not being able to do this if i have the baby in my arms at the time, and feel bad even now since i have been pretty sick the first trimester and very tired and have to nap after work alot. i think its a good idea making him part of the baby's care though, if he will be nice and helpful! otherwise he can play with the baby just hopefully not rough cuz he loves being a little bull to everyone!
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