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Would you marry your baby's father, just because you are pregnant?

Posted by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 3:45 AM
  • 31 Replies

 

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Question: Would you marry your baby's father for the baby if it was truly better???

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yes

no


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Total Votes: 60

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My ex boyfriend broke up with me about 2 weeks ago... he said i had to much baggage... but before that we had talked about kids and he said he would marry me if i ever got pregnant (keep in mind we were together at the time)


He still has feelings for me...


I'm finding out tomorrow at the obgyn if i am in fact pregnant... he's driving me... he doesnt know thats why i'm going... but i've decided to tell him tomorrow if i find out for sure that i am... and if he wants to get back together... i'll probably do it...


but the thing is i dont want to raise a child in a broken home... and he had said before he would want to marry me... i'm not sure what to do on that if that comes up... if its truly better for the baby...


If its truly better for the baby would you do it???

by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 3:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Jan. 4, 2013 at 3:58 AM
1 mom liked this

Personally no I wouldn't because you don't have to be married to him in order for him to be involved in your child's life.

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YudyC
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 4:27 AM
Agree with Cali_angel_girl. He can be involved withouth the two of you being married. I think it's way better to have two loving parents apart over two that are miserable together. ...if that makes sense.
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lilmama8408
by Silver Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 4:29 AM
1 mom liked this
When we got married we were told this... marry for love because your children grow up and go about their way while your spouse is there for life.
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FarmGirl2B
by Silver Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 4:42 AM
2 moms liked this
Don't teach your child to settle for an unhappy marriage. Staying together for the sake of the child does more harm than good.
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Salsacookies
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 4:45 AM
I didn't. I'm still with him and we have 3 kids together, but we haven't talked about marriage yet. It will happen when the time is right.
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MamaHunny
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 4:58 AM
1 mom liked this
I think if youre pregnant thats a reason to try to work things out but not a reason to get married. This is 2013 for crying out loud. My bf and I are expecting our first baby (unplanned) any day now. We had been together about two years before conceiving. We have been asked by everyone if we were going to get married before the baby came/when we're getting married etc this whole nine months. If he proposed to me tomorrow id say yes but I would have before our baby came along too. We weren't talking about marriage before I got pregnant so we aren't going to do it just for that.
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SOCO101
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 5:07 AM

It wouldn't be truly better for the baby if the reason he got back with you was because you're pregnant. That's asking for resentments and him feeling like he was forced into the marriage. Sorry mama, but more than likely it wouldn't work out in the end. I'd let him go and move on if I were you.

gacgbaker
by Platinum Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 7:11 AM

I don't think doing it just because you are pregnant is right- but if it's something you both are interested in doing, I'd highly recommend surrounding yourselves with married couples whose relationship you can look up to- do some premarital counseling also.  Once you are married, don't let the 'D' (divorce) word even be a word that you speak to each other (as in I want a divorce) and keep connected to other couples that can 'walk' the journey with you.  Every year my husband and I go to a marriage conference- not because we are in a bad place (although there have been times of that too), but because we know every marriage is either growing closer or further apart and we want to be active in growing together.  Weekend to Remember is the one we go to, but there are many out there.  Don't rush the decision, it's a big one- take things one step at a time.

Wishing you all the best at your appointment today- let us know how it goes!

JadeTigr7
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 7:46 AM
1 mom liked this
No. I've been with my husband for 15 years, but we were not committed to each other when I got pregnant.

When we found out I was pregnant he asked me to marry him and I told him no. We did, however, decide that we'd attempt an actual relationship again. We loved each other, had been in each others lives for 6 years at that point but there were still issues that needed working out first.

He moved in with me a couple months before our son was born and proposed again when he was 6 months old. That time I said yes, and we are approaching our 8th anniversary soon.

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orangeshirt
by Silver Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 8:09 AM
Is a loveless marriage that sets a poor example for your child more beneficial than an amicable arrangement where you coparent without feeling obligated to stay in a marriage of convenience?

Uh, no.
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