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Pregnancy Pregnancy

Giving birth...Im nervous about not being in control

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:33 PM
  • 29 Replies

So as Its getting closer to my due date (Feb 10th) Im getting terribly anxious. This is my first baby. He has dropped and I have terrible pressure and back pain. I also lost either all or a good part of my mucus plug. I feel like he is still pretty comfy though my OB said she was sure I would go to term. Im getting nervous about giving birth though. My hubby and I took the labor and delivery class offered at our birthing center and we really enjoyed it and I felt calm after taking it till now. Im not a control freak but I dont like feeling out of control. I would like to go as long as I can without pain meds and see what Im capable of. Im sure these are just normal feelings I just want to enjoy the birth of my baby!

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mama2gg
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:35 PM
1 mom liked this
Totally normal

Make a birth plan you will feep more in control even if its fake control
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ToriBabe1221
by Bronze Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:36 PM
3 moms liked this
Yes, normal feelings.
The best thing you can do to "remain in control" is to remember, your not in control. Your baby is.
Surrender to the waves bringing you closer to your baby. let them guide you. You will do great!
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Jess21608
by Bronze Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:38 PM

thanks ladies :D

doulala
by Emerald Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:39 PM


It takes a lot of emotional-mental prep to surrender and let-go.   This is a big part of birthing~   Our bodies are on autopilot and fighting can make it hurt a lot worse, make it go more slowly, increase interventions...     just a downward spiral, nice to avoid!    ;-)

How are you planning to achieve a natural delivery?
Who will be there to help you through the process?

doulala
by Emerald Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:42 PM
2 moms liked this
Quoting ToriBabe1221:

  your not in control. Your baby is. 

Yes!  And your body is, nature is.  

Our bodies know how to do this without us doing anything--    The more we follow our body's lead (to dance or sit still or go to a dark room or rock over the toilet, etc) the more we facilitate progress (and comfort!).

:-)


Just as a woman’s heart knows,

How and when to pump,

Her lungs to inhale,

And her hand to pull back from fire,

So she knows when and how to give birth.


- Virginia Di


ICAN

Jess21608
by Bronze Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:47 PM


Quoting doulala:


It takes a lot of emotional-mental prep to surrender and let-go.   This is a big part of birthing~   Our bodies are on autopilot and fighting can make it hurt a lot worse, make it go more slowly, increase interventions...     just a downward spiral, nice to avoid!    ;-)

How are you planning to achieve a natural delivery?
Who will be there to help you through the process?

To be honest I have no idea! I didnt make a birth plan cause I thought maybe I would get too attached to what I had planned and would get upset if things changed so I thought maybe if I went with the fly by the seat of my pants situation It would be better. Im going to call and see if my birth center provdes birthing balls, the rooms are huge and have nice tubs so thought I would try both of those to ease the pain. Im not totaly agaisnt pain meds just want to give it my best shot. My husband is my coach which is great since he can calm me down he stays cool under pressure and can put up with me lol. I havent decided if I want my mom or mother in law in the room during the actual delivery. I love my OB she is super laid back but we havent actually talked about the birth part..not sure if thats normal or not!?

doulala
by Emerald Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:50 PM


Quoting Jess21608:


Quoting doulala:


It takes a lot of emotional-mental prep to surrender and let-go.   This is a big part of birthing~   Our bodies are on autopilot and fighting can make it hurt a lot worse, make it go more slowly, increase interventions...     just a downward spiral, nice to avoid!    ;-)

How are you planning to achieve a natural delivery?
Who will be there to help you through the process?

To be honest I have no idea! I didnt make a birth plan cause I thought maybe I would get too attached to what I had planned and would get upset if things changed so I thought maybe if I went with the fly by the seat of my pants situation It would be better. Im going to call and see if my birth center provdes birthing balls, the rooms are huge and have nice tubs so thought I would try both of those to ease the pain. Im not totaly agaisnt pain meds just want to give it my best shot. My husband is my coach which is great since he can calm me down he stays cool under pressure and can put up with me lol. I havent decided if I want my mom or mother in law in the room during the actual delivery. I love my OB she is super laid back but we havent actually talked about the birth part..not sure if thats normal or not!?

Normal for some, not others.    As a birth-junkie, I have spent thousands of hours talking about it, lol.   So I would have wanted to really go through every possible angle.   ;-)

I do recommend that you start talking about the details.     Making a birth plan is helpful & healthful, now might be a great time to work for this.

If you aren't so committed to a natural birth then odds are that you won't have one.  If you want a pleasant & enjoyable experience then you can certainly choose non-drug alternatives, too.    Worth considering!

hugs!
:-)



"There is power that comes to women when they give birth. They don't ask for it, it simply invades them. Accumulates like clouds on the horizon and passes through, carrying the child with it."
-Sheryl Feldman

Jess21608
by Bronze Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:55 PM


Quoting doulala:


Quoting Jess21608:

 

Quoting doulala:


It takes a lot of emotional-mental prep to surrender and let-go.   This is a big part of birthing~   Our bodies are on autopilot and fighting can make it hurt a lot worse, make it go more slowly, increase interventions...     just a downward spiral, nice to avoid!    ;-)

How are you planning to achieve a natural delivery?
Who will be there to help you through the process?

To be honest I have no idea! I didnt make a birth plan cause I thought maybe I would get too attached to what I had planned and would get upset if things changed so I thought maybe if I went with the fly by the seat of my pants situation It would be better. Im going to call and see if my birth center provdes birthing balls, the rooms are huge and have nice tubs so thought I would try both of those to ease the pain. Im not totaly agaisnt pain meds just want to give it my best shot. My husband is my coach which is great since he can calm me down he stays cool under pressure and can put up with me lol. I havent decided if I want my mom or mother in law in the room during the actual delivery. I love my OB she is super laid back but we havent actually talked about the birth part..not sure if thats normal or not!?

Normal for some, not others.    As a birth-junkie, I have spent thousands of hours talking about it, lol.   So I would have wanted to really go through every possible angle.   ;-)

I do recommend that you start talking about the details.     Making a birth plan is helpful & healthful, now might be a great time to work for this.

If you aren't so committed to a natural birth then odds are that you won't have one.  If you want a pleasant & enjoyable experience then you can certainly choose non-drug alternatives, too.    Worth considering!

hugs!
:-)

 


Thanks for all the helpful advice! I wish I would have started this sooner the thinking about labor and delivery part that is..it took my hubby and I a long time to concieve so that was the only part I obessed about once we actual had the bun in the oven it was like okay now what lol.

LadyBug1990
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 12:07 AM
1 mom liked this
When I had my first I had nubaine for the pain. It didn't really help with the pain but it helped me relax between contractions. If you want a natural labor and delivery, I believe a lot of it is in your mindset. If you go in telling yourself the only way possible to get meds is because you medically need to, you'll follow through with that plan.

I was terrified of an epidural, the whole process of getting an epidural freaked me out worse than the labor pains, silly I know. But that fear of it is what gave me the courage to follow through with my birth plan. I had a 9lb healthy baby girl.

With my second, I learned that you cannot get paralyzed from an epidural and I took that route. Lol I had good deliveries both ways.
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LKRA
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 12:08 AM
2 moms liked this

I think the majority of first-time moms are like that. They spend so much time on names and clothes and registeries and nursing bedding and decorating and they completely forget (or are apathetic toward the idea) that there will be a human being shooting out of their vagina.

:)

Doulala is a WONDERFUL resource; her words are golden.

You have time to prepare for a normal birth. Like she said, if you're not committed to it, chances are good you won't have it.

Birth is an incredible experience, one that does not need to be controlled. ROLL with it. Listen to your body; it will tell you what it needs. :)

Quoting Jess21608:

 

Thanks for all the helpful advice! I wish I would have started this sooner the thinking about labor and delivery part that is..it took my hubby and I a long time to concieve so that was the only part I obessed about once we actual had the bun in the oven it was like okay now what lol.


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