Um, let me see, how shall I put this? I guess I'll just come right out and say it. Apparently there are couples who have sex during labor and delivery. Did you hear me? Let me phrase it another way just to be sure I got the point across. There are actually women who have sex with their husbands in the hospital either while they're in the midst of labor -- or shortly after giving birth to their babies.
Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor while trying to get rid of the series of cringe-worthy images running through my head at the current moment.
And if you're sitting there thinking to yourself, "So? What's the big deal?" -- perhaps you'll understand how nuts having delivery room sex sounds after hearing a few of the stories told by a labor and delivery nurse who shared some of the trysts she's witnessed with Mommyish.
From the couple who did it doggy-style on the bed behind a curtain without realizing they had a crowd of onlookers to the mom who had to be wheeled right back into surgery after her husband literally ripped open her stitches during sex after she gave birth -- I'm seriously at a loss for words.
OMG!! What on Earth would possess someone to want to get it on with their man as they're either trying to get a human being out of their body or just finished doing so?!?
Ok, ok -- so I know sometimes having sex can help bring on labor, but if you aren't in labor yet, then most likely you're still in the privacy of your own home, which changes things considerably. Why on Earth would you run the risk of having sex in a hospital bed with a zillion doctors and nurses coming in and out of the room? (No, I'm not stupid. I understand that some folks are turned on by doing the dirty in public.)
And forget the potential voyeurs for a second -- how can sex even be satisfying while you're having contractions? And on top of that (no pun intended), how can sex feel remotely good after a living, breathing thing has just come out of your vagina? (I had an episiotomy almost seven years ago and my cha-cha hurts just thinking about it.)
All right, I'll stop ranting and raving, but now it's your turn to weigh in.
Would you have sex during labor or right after delivery? (Be honest.)
Image via Daquella manera/Flickr