I am posting this because I need some support and advice ..
I am 18+ weeks pregnant and I'm worried about breastfeeding. As a child I was severely sexually abused by my father until the age of 14.
When I had my daughter 3 years ago, the hospital immediately forced me to try breastfeeding. It was extremely traumatic for me. I was immediately triggered and felt sick, uneasy and like I wanted to give the baby to someone and jump out a window. I am NOT able to disassociate my childhood abuse from healthy things such as breastfeeding. I am already prone to PP depression and I do not want to add constant triggering on top of that.
With this second baby, I would like to express milk and give it to the baby that way. I think that I will be able to handle pumping without a significant issue, however I am not sure.
I know this is a very personal question, so I understand if I don't get any answers...but has anyone else experienced this? If so, how did you deal with it ?
I would also love any advice, tips, tricks, etc on expressing/storing breast milk.
Thanks in advance.