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How do i get my boyfriend to be excited about this?

Posted by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:48 PM
  • 24 Replies

We found out i was expecting about a month ago. It was not planned at all. i was on the pill and my boyfriend and i had talked about waiting a couple years. But that doesnt always work out of course.

He is completly..terrified ,for lack of a better way to explain it. He doesnt want to talk about saving money for the nursury or baby names or babies at all. Its really hard because he is my best friend and basically the only one i have. Im feeling more alone than ever. of course his life has to change but what about me?

He continues to go out several nights a week while im at home alone.


How can i make him see how exciting and amazing parenhood is going to be?

I need his support!

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:48 PM
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by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 9:58 PM
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You're so early in, it probably just hasn't sunk in with him. He needs time to process it. Once you start showing, and you have sonos, and he feels the baby kick, he will probably come around. If not, I think it'd be time to find a better guy.

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 10:31 PM

 for most men it doesn't sink in until they either feel baby move or until baby is here...

DH and I wanted to wait a couple years and I took was on the pill, and surprise!! Now he is 3 and we have another one as well, for him it didn't sink in until he started feeling Liam move; in particular when he would talk to him and he would move. Liam is now the biggest daddies boy you have ever met.

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by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:53 AM

Give him some time. You're still pretty early. Remain positive but try not to nag him about it.

Congrats on your pregnancy.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:27 AM
1 mom liked this

In the beginning many men just aren't interested. Men don't become fathers until they see their child. For us it's a lot different because we have to change our lives the second the test comes back postive. He may start showing more interest when you start to show or when he can feel the baby kick. Just start saving money and leave the nursery talk for later. I know it's lonely and frustrating when he's acting like he has no responsibility and seems not to care about the baby. Just give it time.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:37 AM
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I would be concerned about the fact that he is going out and partying while leaving you home alone and pregnant. He better get that out of his system real quick. I think it's crap that we need to treat them so fragile and let them ease into it, we don't get to ease into it! I wouldn't give him too long. Let him know this is happening with or without him. Some guys run some stay it just depends. Hopefully he pulls up his big boy panties and steps up. GL sweetie. Hope it works out.
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by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:46 AM

my dh and i was the same when we found out we were expecting at first(we were bf gf but promised to engagement and even had a wedding date)...he was in college and out goal was to get him past his final year after the baby was born. it was hard basicly being a single mom but we did it. I have talked to him about it. Durring pregnancy he would take his extra money he would get and go out to eat all the time or get his hobby stuff...i would get so mad at him. We were young 19, and he said it didnt really hit him until she was born. He started spending weekends with us(he lived at campus over 2 hours away)and I would put all the fun stuff on him. I would send him updates all the time and tell him how much fun it was and new things she did...he missed her so much. He was so happy when he finished. Getting him though college was the best thing we could have ever done, he has a FANTASTIC job and we are expecting our 5th. he still doesnt get into the pregnancy like i wish he would but he is better with this one than he was with the others. the only thing i wished i did was get a doula with my births. He never really knows what to do and we had a doula with my 4th and I LOVED IT she knew exactly what to do on things i knew but was like no i dont need that but really i did. she also got dh active. he use to give me his hand and i was more afraid i was going to break it(he stopped after a while because he was afraid of the same thing). Good luck mama. some men grow up but then ive seen men who never grows up

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 11:11 AM

When he hears the heartbeat or sees the ultrasound, I'm sure he will change, if not before then. He might just be scared, it wasn't planned.

by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 11:44 AM

I agree give him some time. Men tend to not understand that a baby is coming until they can physically see it. SOmetimes not until the baby is here.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:08 PM

 Just give him time sweetie. Im pregnant with my 4th, our 7th together and this baby was a total shock. it took him a few weeks to accept the idea and even now its not completely real to him. and he even heard the heartbeat. it just takes a while for men. But you need to discuss him going out so much. he needs to have respect for you.

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:32 PM
My husband and I are expecting our second baby and he is not very attached to my belly. He will talk to me about my pregnancy and he likes to plan about the baby but he will not touch my belly unless I ask him to. He wont talk to the baby because he says it feels weird. But he always asks me about the baby's movements and he reads about the pregnancy. He was the same with my first pregnancy but I know he will be a great dad once the baby is here. When our son was born, he took 2 weeks off from work and he jumped right into daddy hood. He changed diapers the very first day and wanted to feed him so we got bottles and a breast pump. He wanted to do everything and just bassically push me aside which worked perfect because I was exhausted and sleepy. So give him time, he can turn out to be the best hdad ever.
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