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Pregnancy Pregnancy

Told my mil our plan or labor/delivery/after birth

Posted by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:22 PM
  • 37 Replies
1 mom liked this
And she didn't take it very well. I posted a few weeks ago my plan for labor/delivery/after birth visitors. Well during labor I'm fine with visitors during delivery it's just gonna be me and my dh, and after I give birth my boys will be the very first ones to see us and the new baby then only our parents will be allowed in that day so we can have time to bond with her. And all other visitors will be allowed in the next day.

She didn't like this idea saying that no one will want to be there if they can't see her the day she's born. Well this is our wishes and I'm not changing my mind. Do u think its selfish of us to do this? I told her that they can't stay all the next day if everything went ok the day before.
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by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
momma_gig
by Bronze Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:43 PM

As far as I'm concerned, it's your child and your decision. With both of my births, the immediate family was there the day of, and friends and non immediate family came the day after. It's much less awkward that way lol. I think your MIL should be excited that she gets to be one of the first to see this baby. 

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theosgirl45
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:47 PM

I don't think its selfish at all.  I had similar restrictions with my last baby.  I just didn't want a bunch of people up there while we were bonding with him.

lil_momma513
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 11:02 PM

I don't think its selfish at all. I don't want anyone there at all through labor but my husband. And I want a few hours with the baby before anyone comes. I just know my mom and MIL are going to freak when they find out they can't be there for the birth, but I don't care, it's MY HUSBAND AND I's experience, OUR baby, and MY vagina.. so what everyone else thinks doesnt matter, they will get over it.

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crheinheimer
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 11:28 PM
I allowed visitors in way too soon after my ds and as a result didn't get to nurse him for a long time after birth- I ended up spending 2 1/2 weeks trying to get him to latch correctly. I was up all night every night with him screaming. It is completely your choice and absolutely not selfish. I'm not allowing even my mil for at least a few hours this time. She was in the room before I even had clothes on- was just covered with a blanket. Not this time!!
sfank
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 11:36 PM

There's nothing wrong with that at all. It's what myself and everyone I know did. I only had one couple other than grandparents visit us in the hospital. There is nothing wrong with that at all.

AmericanChild82
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:06 AM

Nope not selfish at all. I plan on doing the same thing come August.

doulala
by Emerald Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:59 AM
Quoting Steph925:

She didn't like this idea saying that no one will want to be there if they can't see her the day she's born. 

confused

  WHY?


Does she realize how selfish she sounds??

Victoriaoh
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:24 AM
My dd was born at 1:44pm. That day I had no visitors. It was time for me to rest/recover; & time for me and DF to bond with baby. The next day my parents and sister came for a visit in the evening. They were my only visitors. Everyone else got to meet baby once we were home.
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pacificamom
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:44 AM

everyone will get over it:)

Ginnygurl97
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 4:51 AM
I absolutely agree. I didn't want anyone but DF there period. My mil flipped out that she wanted to be there and how we took all the joy out of it for her. Really??? There was no way anyone was gonna be around for the labor or delivery. I wasn't even having my own mother come in there. In a way I'm glad I had a quick emergency delivery cause then there was no time to argue and the dr wouldn't let anyone but DF in there anyway. I abrupted causing massive issues for me and baby. And w no drugs what so ever I was not in the mood! They had to take baby boy to the NICU because of his blood loss. I had him at 4:41, and by the time they got him stable and me a transfusion it was almost 10. I still hadn't laid eyes on my baby. This bitch was out in the waiting room complaining about being there so long and not being able to see him. Over my dead body was she gonna see my baby before I did. And then she bitched to the nurses that only parents were allowed in the NICU. So actually, I kind of got what I wanted, and she didn't get anything she wanted. But hey, those were hospital rules. :-) it wasn't my fault lol ;-p


Quoting lil_momma513:

I don't think its selfish at all. I don't want anyone there at all through labor but my husband. And I want a few hours with the baby before anyone comes. I just know my mom and MIL are going to freak when they find out they can't be there for the birth, but I don't care, it's MY HUSBAND AND I's experience, OUR baby, and MY vagina.. so what everyone else thinks doesnt matter, they will get over it.


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