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Pregnancy Pregnancy

Can you please help me???

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I'm gonna redone my post since I've had sooo many people bashing on me. Just gonna let you know a little about me.

 Hi, my name is Brittany , I'm from Kentucky. I am 18 gonna be 19 in June. Been with my wonderful fiance for 3 years and 3 months engaged a year getting married pretty soon .Me and my fiance both have jobs, I work a DQ(hey it's a job for now)  and he does Drywall, both our vehicles are paid for and right now our home is being remodled so all we have to pay is bills which I think we are doing good for our age.  On Dec. 9th he cumed in me ALOT and that was our first time we've ever done that, we have always done the pull out for over a year now and just decided that we might want to bring a little bundle of joy into the world I mean its gonna happen sooner or later so why not now?! Not saying I'm gonna get pregnant now, just trying to get info for whenever the time does come. I was two weeks late on my period and I thought I was gonna be a mommy but then I started  yesterday :(When I was born my lady part wasn't open so the DR had to cut it open, yes it does happen you can look it up so that why I came on this site looking for some serious answers because my fear has came back that I might not be able too ! When I was born my lady part wasn't open so the DR have to cut it open, yes it does happen you can look it up Please don't comment on my post if your not gonna be nice, I'm just trying to get info <3 Thank you and have a blessed day! (:

by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:27 AM
Replies (31-40):
mem82
by Ruby Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:08 PM

Before you do anythingelse, go to an OB and get am exam and start taking prenatals. I had my first at 18. I won't bash you but I would suggest waiting. Get married and get a house first. 8)

cemcnair
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:08 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm going to go with no. Lets just say you can't get pregnant, so you should stop trying immediately!!
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momma_gig
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:47 PM
4 moms liked this

I'm really not trying to bash here, but the first step would not have been to come onto CM and ask. The first step would have been to go to your gynecologist and ask. You have to make sure that you have everything in place BEFORE you even get pregnant. Make sure that that your gynecologist is also an obstetrician, or that there is at least an OB in the practice. You do have active insurance, right? Because you will definitely not be able to afford all of the prenatal appointments, sonograms, prenatal testing, and hospital bill out of pocket. I was 18 when I got pregnant with my daughter (not planned) and it was a BITCH trying to get insurance. It was Welfare insurance and was pretty lame because I didn't have a good choice of doctors, and I hated mine. 

You also want to make sure that you and your boyfriend both have good paying jobs. Trust me, Burger King will not pay for the diapers, formula (when breastfeeding doesn't work out), clothes, blankets, ect. That's where my bf was working when I was pregnant and even after I had our daughter. I had to get on Foodstamps and WIC just to afford food. And I also say that BOTH of you will want to be working in case something happens to your bf. Not saying that he will leave you (althought there's always that risk since you both are still so young) but what if he gets into a car accident and can't work? Would you be able to take over the bills?

Can you both legally drive? Do at least one of you own a car? This is very important, since there will be prenatal appointments, wellness check ups once the baby gets here, and possibly emergencies. Do you know how to properly install and use a car seat? Do you know the age, weight, and height requirements for both rear and forward facing?

Also, keep in mind these important decisions that you'd need to decide on before baby even gets here: OB or midwife? What are your thoughts about having an unplanned c-section? Hospital or birthing center? For baby: Vaccinating or no? Circumcising or not? Breatfeeding or formula feeding? Cloth or disposable diapering? Cry it out method? Co sleeping? Baby wearing? Who will be his/her pediatrician? Do you know how to add baby to your insurance? 

I'm not trying to scare you, but a baby isn't something you have "just because". You plan to have a baby because you know that, without a doubt, you want to be a mother and to take care of someone for the next 18 years. From reading your post, it doesn't really sound like you're ready or really wanting that. It sounds like you're just "eh" about the situation, which isn't good. You need to be 100% POSITIVE that this is what you want. You need to feel it with your whole being that you want this baby and will do everything in your power to take of him/her and keep him/her safe. You give up everything for the first few months. Don't expect to be able to go about your normal ruitine. You will not get to shower every day. You will be in PJs most days. Make up and anything but a ponytail will seem like a luxury to you. If you can honestly say that you would love the baby more than yourself, then I am not going to tell you otherwise. It can work. My bf and I are married now with 2 (soon to be 3) children, have our own place, and he has a good paying job. We eventually got off of Welfare and started making a living for ourselves. It's possible. But we're a lucky few. 

TTC2Long
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 2:41 PM
Excellent, practical advice. Also, op, I was engaged to my hs sweetheart, too. We were together 4 years, 16-20, and always thought we'd get married and have kids. We thought it would be forever and we would be one of the few success stories with the marriage that lasts 80 years. We finally broke up when I transfered to a 4 year university. It was the BEST decision ever. We were NOT the right ones for each other, we were too young for such things and I am SO grateful that I didn't get pregnant. I know you think he's the one and this will last forever, but the odds are good that he isn't and it won't. Just wait. First thing's first.

Quoting momma_gig:

I'm really not trying to bash here, but the first step would not have been to come onto CM and ask. The first step would have been to go to your gynecologist and ask. You have to make sure that you have everything in place BEFORE you even get pregnant. Make sure that that your gynecologist is also an obstetrician, or that there is at least an OB in the practice. You do have active insurance, right? Because you will definitely not be able to afford all of the prenatal appointments, sonograms, prenatal testing, and hospital bill out of pocket. I was 18 when I got pregnant with my daughter (not planned) and it was a BITCH trying to get insurance. It was Welfare insurance and was pretty lame because I didn't have a good choice of doctors, and I hated mine. 

You also want to make sure that you and your boyfriend both have good paying jobs. Trust me, Burger King will not pay for the diapers, formula (when breastfeeding doesn't work out), clothes, blankets, ect. That's where my bf was working when I was pregnant and even after I had our daughter. I had to get on Foodstamps and WIC just to afford food. And I also say that BOTH of you will want to be working in case something happens to your bf. Not saying that he will leave you (althought there's always that risk since you both are still so young) but what if he gets into a car accident and can't work? Would you be able to take over the bills?

Can you both legally drive? Do at least one of you own a car? This is very important, since there will be prenatal appointments, wellness check ups once the baby gets here, and possibly emergencies. Do you know how to properly install and use a car seat? Do you know the age, weight, and height requirements for both rear and forward facing?

Also, keep in mind these important decisions that you'd need to decide on before baby even gets here: OB or midwife? What are your thoughts about having an unplanned c-section? Hospital or birthing center? For baby: Vaccinating or no? Circumcising or not? Breatfeeding or formula feeding? Cloth or disposable diapering? Cry it out method? Co sleeping? Baby wearing? Who will be his/her pediatrician? Do you know how to add baby to your insurance? 

I'm not trying to scare you, but a baby isn't something you have "just because". You plan to have a baby because you know that, without a doubt, you want to be a mother and to take care of someone for the next 18 years. From reading your post, it doesn't really sound like you're ready or really wanting that. It sounds like you're just "eh" about the situation, which isn't good. You need to be 100% POSITIVE that this is what you want. You need to feel it with your whole being that you want this baby and will do everything in your power to take of him/her and keep him/her safe. You give up everything for the first few months. Don't expect to be able to go about your normal ruitine. You will not get to shower every day. You will be in PJs most days. Make up and anything but a ponytail will seem like a luxury to you. If you can honestly say that you would love the baby more than yourself, then I am not going to tell you otherwise. It can work. My bf and I are married now with 2 (soon to be 3) children, have our own place, and he has a good paying job. We eventually got off of Welfare and started making a living for ourselves. It's possible. But we're a lucky few. 

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Tippytetoe
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 2:45 PM
2 moms liked this

Ok, wow...... Both my mother and grandmothers on both sides got married and had children very young. My mom was 19 and My grandmother on my dads side was 16. There are alot of girls that I went to high school with that got married and had babies at 18. My mother never even learned about sex before she was married, so telling this girl to stop asking questions is a bit unfair. Maybe she comes from a background that she never learned about sex, that doesn't mean she is unfit to have a baby. 

Im 33, pregnant with my first after 19 months of trying and I want 2 children and only have a few years left with hopefully healthy eggs. I went to school, I went to college, I bought a house myself and then meet a good man and finally and got married and I'm finally pregnant! If I had meet my husband when I was 18 I woud have gotten married and gotten pregnant then and I wouldn't have racked up all this stupid debt. I'm no better off for my education (62,000) in debt from school loans with a mediocre paying job, barly able to pay the mortgage on a house that is still upside down after paying on it for 10 years and with a husband working his ass off to try to make enough money so I can stay at home with the babies. 

There is never a "prefect" time to have a baby. My mother was 19, I am 33 and we are in the exact same boat! 

Join the ttc group (trying to conceive) here, and read the posts, they are vey supportive, I was in the group for the whole 19 months of trying. Go to the doctor and get a pap and a internal examination. First steps! 

hizwifie
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 3:26 PM

You have no business having a baby. Your post was painful to read through. Wait 5 years. If you have grown up some by then, that might be a time to look into all of this. 

AmyL3469
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 3:29 PM

Umm.. well, if you keep having unprotected sex, you can try a pregnancy test maybe. I'm not sure if you've heard of those.

AmyL3469
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 3:31 PM

Just curious as to why is a house necessary? Lol, we don't have a house and we have kids and one on the way, and we're not young. 

Quoting mem82:

Before you do anythingelse, go to an OB and get am exam and start taking prenatals. I had my first at 18. I won't bash you but I would suggest waiting. Get married and get a house first. 8)


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MissTacoBell
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 3:32 PM
It's called a vagina.


Quoting Lulu1022:

When I was born the dr had to cut me open my lady part, Im not dum because my mom told me that and she wouldnt make something up like that.


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xLilBit22
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 3:40 PM
Sometimes it takes longer than u want. Just relax and enjoy the process. There are fertility tests but i mean ur still young. Hell im young still 22 expecting baby#1 we have been trying for a little over 2yrs.
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