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Pregnancy Pregnancy

Do you feel judged about this pregnancy?

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Why?
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by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:57 AM
Replies (31-40):
clz0213
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:39 PM

I was initally. I got pregnant during my engagement and my family was very judgemental. They insisted that we were getting married because I was pregnant and were adament about the fact we were young and making a huge mistake. I'm 21, married, supporting ourselves in our own place. They had no right to judge. It took them until about 34 weeks to really seem excited or even accepting of the pregnancy. Since this is the first granddaughter and first baby of the family in about 12 years, I would've thought they'd be more happy. But, each to their own.

pregnancy
mrsniebo
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:49 PM

Nope. DH and I have been married 3 and a half years and we're in our mid-20s. This is only our second pregnancy. DD is a very bright 2 yr old. We own our own home, DH has a stable job, and I've been staying home with DD. Family was actually starting to ask when we'd have another baby, especially my MIL who has been asking for a grandson since DD and her (female) cousin were about a year old. 

bebe_ju-rah
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:50 PM
Nope. With my first I did BC dh and I weren't married and she wasn't planned. Now we are married, financially stable, and did great with dd who is now 5. Prove the nay sayers wrong! :)
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KayelynnsMama
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:53 PM

All. the. time.

DH has 2 kids from a previous relationship,plus we have a daughter together. This pregnancy was planned, and it took us over a year to get pregnant. We are young, I am 22 and DH is 23. But still, I am so sick of hearing "You know what causes that, right?" Yea I know what causes it, it took us over a year to be successful at it. Pisses me off so bad because we are married and support the kids just fine. It isn't like we are having all these kids that aren't cared for.

Oh, and what makes it worse, it's usually family that makes the comments.

Byrd15
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:58 PM

Not this one too much because she was planned. Joey was a surprise baby, and we married after we found out so of course we got judged more for that. 

People probably judge me for having them so close but this is how we wanted it. And its nice being done having kids at 21!

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Becky.Mom.of.2
by Gold Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 2:24 PM
Yes. I know a lot of people in our family feel 4 is too many.
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Pandapanda
by Cafe Panda on Jan. 26, 2013 at 2:30 PM

Yes. We aren't in the best spot financially and it's a major stress point right now. We haven't shared with anyone we see in person, in hopes we can get everything pieced together in the next few weeks to avoid some of the inevitable negativity. 

We just need to move into a bigger place, so we've got to make that our #1 priority.

sj3starz
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 2:31 PM
I so understand what you are going through!! I'm the only crunchy person in my area. It's really hard to be on your own, with little to no support. Many people think I'm nuts. People ask me how in the world I could do a home birth. They think I'm putting myself and baby at risk, though I'm perfectly healthy and have had one baby before. My body is perfectly capable!
I was always told that I'm crazy for doing my own purees/baby food instead of buying. Cding was going to be "too hard" and I would get tired of having to carry around dirty diapers when in public. I was told that I'm disgusting for wanting to reuse diapers.
*Le sigh* Hopefully things turn brighter for you! Maybe find a support group for natural minded mamas? I just found one in my area, and I'm hoping that it helps out. It can't hurt, right?


Quoting Mrsfarr:

Very much so sometimes.



I've chosen to go the "alternative" route. Unmediated birth, making informed decisions instead of just nodding and doing as the doctor suggests, reusable diapers, breast feeding.

You know, all those WEIRD things that only nut jobs do...

Last week, my doctor reccomended induction because I've been 4cm dilated for the past month. Everyone is upset at me because I refused it. They keep telling me I need to be induced because the baby is stressed. I keep asking them why my doctor called them and told them that instead of telling me while I was at the appointment. Then it's a new argument because they were "just trying to help and you don't have to be rude."

Two months ago, I was criticized for allowing the hospital to stop premature labor. I'm sorry, I know that my baby is the first grand daughter in the family but I'd like her to be healthy and not spend her first few months of life in the nicu, away from me and her daddy.

At the beginning of my pregnancy, everyone got mad at me for working out. I'm pregnant. Not disabled. Walking on a treadmill won't hurt me or my baby. Neither will lifting small weights with a trainer. Or doing spin class. The gym is not a toxic environment.

I get flack all the time for eating healthy and "only" gaining ten pounds(as of 38 weeks). My MIL actually told me to "go get McDonald's or something. You need to gain weight or your baby will be too thin and she'll die." What. The. Actual. Fuck? My baby is just fine. She will be just fine. If I gain fat and cholesterol, it will not help her. Trust me, a salad is ok food for pregnancy. Excuse me for wanting to be healthy.



I won't even go into the medications conversations... Or the ones about how only formula has enough whatever to keep my baby from having whatever terrible illness.
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supermom0609
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 2:32 PM
yes because we arent well off but we make it and my older ds has behavioral issues we are working on getting resolved so ive heard alot of ppl suggest we shouldnt have gotten pregnant again but it wasent planned
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Mrsfarr
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 3:08 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't even consider it crunchy. Just making smarter/better decisions instead of being a sheep and following the heard into certain doom.
I wanted to do a home birth so bad. We live out in the country too far away from anyone could do that for us so no go. Mostly, it was to avoid unnecessary interventions. I'd like to remember the birth of my first child and actually participate rather than just lay there and nod while the doctor gives me orders. It just seems silly to me. Like humans are the only animals on the planet incapable of giving birth or something.
My MIL mentioned something about reusable diapers being too big a hassle. She's only ever tried the prefold/liner route. Which is probably obnoxious. But I'm using fuzzi bunz so it's not like I have to do that much more than using a disposable. I wonder if people realize that it's not just a wadded up pile of cloth at the bottom of the diaper bag.. Lol. It has a place and won't be some crazy science experiment in the hour it takes me to get home.


Quoting sj3starz:

I so understand what you are going through!! I'm the only crunchy person in my area. It's really hard to be on your own, with little to no support. Many people think I'm nuts. People ask me how in the world I could do a home birth. They think I'm putting myself and baby at risk, though I'm perfectly healthy and have had one baby before. My body is perfectly capable!

I was always told that I'm crazy for doing my own purees/baby food instead of buying. Cding was going to be "too hard" and I would get tired of having to carry around dirty diapers when in public. I was told that I'm disgusting for wanting to reuse diapers.

*Le sigh* Hopefully things turn brighter for you! Maybe find a support group for natural minded mamas? I just found one in my area, and I'm hoping that it helps out. It can't hurt, right?




Quoting Mrsfarr:

Very much so sometimes.





I've chosen to go the "alternative" route. Unmediated birth, making informed decisions instead of just nodding and doing as the doctor suggests, reusable diapers, breast feeding.


You know, all those WEIRD things that only nut jobs do...


Last week, my doctor reccomended induction because I've been 4cm dilated for the past month. Everyone is upset at me because I refused it. They keep telling me I need to be induced because the baby is stressed. I keep asking them why my doctor called them and told them that instead of telling me while I was at the appointment. Then it's a new argument because they were "just trying to help and you don't have to be rude."


Two months ago, I was criticized for allowing the hospital to stop premature labor. I'm sorry, I know that my baby is the first grand daughter in the family but I'd like her to be healthy and not spend her first few months of life in the nicu, away from me and her daddy.


At the beginning of my pregnancy, everyone got mad at me for working out. I'm pregnant. Not disabled. Walking on a treadmill won't hurt me or my baby. Neither will lifting small weights with a trainer. Or doing spin class. The gym is not a toxic environment.


I get flack all the time for eating healthy and "only" gaining ten pounds(as of 38 weeks). My MIL actually told me to "go get McDonald's or something. You need to gain weight or your baby will be too thin and she'll die." What. The. Actual. Fuck? My baby is just fine. She will be just fine. If I gain fat and cholesterol, it will not help her. Trust me, a salad is ok food for pregnancy. Excuse me for wanting to be healthy.





I won't even go into the medications conversations... Or the ones about how only formula has enough whatever to keep my baby from having whatever terrible illness.

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