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Pregnancy Pregnancy

Do you feel judged about this pregnancy?

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Why?
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by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:57 AM
Replies (51-60):
newmom3917
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:35 AM
Surprisingly, no I haven't felt very judged.. which I am greatful for. Me & SO have very supportive families. I'm 19, and he's 21, I went to college for 2 semesters (taking one off now to have the baby) , and SO already graduated college. Yeah, we're young, but I think we're doing okay.. we have our own place that we are renting off my parents, yes, renting, we do not live here for free.. we bought all of our furniture and everything we need ourselves, baby crib & dresser we got as a gift though.. and I'm able to not be working right now because my mom taught me how to save money and since I've been in high school I have worked as a CNA and have saved up quite a bit of money. We will be set until baby is a few months old, then I will probably go back to work so that we can get off of our parents insurance plans and so that our baby won't have to have medicaid for very long. I got a job offer at the VA as a CNA so I will work there a few days a week to provide my family with insurance and SO will be paying the rent and other bills and I'll help him with whatever money is leftover after I pay for insurance:-)
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AmyMama3
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:45 AM
Well of course you want to be with him and your gold together! I hope people learn to support you.


Quoting baby2013143:

I feel judged all the time. I'm in a very difficult situation. My fiance got deported in october and he wont be coming back for a long tome. I have a wonderful life here. A great job, wonderful supportive family, a mastets degree. I have decided to move to brazil with him after I have the baby. Many people judge my decision. All in all they want the best for me but many think I should stay here. Its very hard.

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Nicole060812
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:47 AM
People judge me for "putting myself through IVF" and not just "being happy with the kids I have"
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KrissyV
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:54 AM

I do- but for very different reasons.  I conceived my daughter literally a week after my honeymoon.  At the time my husband's brother and sister in law were struggling with conceiving and saw it as a slap to the face that we would dare get pregnant before they did.  She made me feel like a terrible person any time I complained about morning sickness telling me that at least I could get pregnant. She was upset that I wouldn't look into homebirths and having a mid-wife and doula and that I was irresponsible for wanting an epidural. She even left the country when my daughter was born and has since tried to find ways to exclude my daughter from family activities even though she is pregnant now.  Getting pregnant a second time was no struggle but unfortunately both babies died in utero around 13 weeks.  She had the blatant nerve to tell me that although she would never wish for any baby to die, this taught me a lesson in humility and knew what she had felt like all along.  I am currently about 6 weeks pregnant while they are due for their first child.  Her horrible behavior has definitely made things difficult for my family and my husband wants very little to do with them.  I have learned that some people will just be major creeps and aren't worth your time.  If they wish to judge you then let them.  In the end you will have a precious little person who will love you unconditionally for just being his or her mom and no one can take that from you.

QueenB0513
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 12:01 PM
I get some weird (in my opinion) judgements on the age difference between my kids. DD is going to be 8 when little one is born....I've heard so many times it was a selfish choice on my part because they won't grow up together and be close. Ok, seriously, my daughter will be 8, not 40. I was not in a good financial or emotional state to have another child until now. I was only 19 the first time, and no father in the picture. So I wasn't even sure I wanted to have another child. I always wanted to give her a sibling but I wanted to be READY. And my beautiful daughter is now so excited, she wants to learn to change diapers ( she practices on her babydolls ) and feed the baby bottles. She rubs my belly and talks to her little brother or sister all the time. I feel completely confident that I made the right choice for myself and for her. My SO is a wonderful father figure in her life, and is so excited to be a dad.
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mem82
by Ruby Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 12:05 PM

Sounds like you guys have a good plan. 8)

Quoting newmom3917:

Surprisingly, no I haven't felt very judged.. which I am greatful for. Me & SO have very supportive families. I'm 19, and he's 21, I went to college for 2 semesters (taking one off now to have the baby) , and SO already graduated college. Yeah, we're young, but I think we're doing okay.. we have our own place that we are renting off my parents, yes, renting, we do not live here for free.. we bought all of our furniture and everything we need ourselves, baby crib & dresser we got as a gift though.. and I'm able to not be working right now because my mom taught me how to save money and since I've been in high school I have worked as a CNA and have saved up quite a bit of money. We will be set until baby is a few months old, then I will probably go back to work so that we can get off of our parents insurance plans and so that our baby won't have to have medicaid for very long. I got a job offer at the VA as a CNA so I will work there a few days a week to provide my family with insurance and SO will be paying the rent and other bills and I'll help him with whatever money is leftover after I pay for insurance:-)


mem82
by Ruby Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 12:07 PM

That's terrible! I understand that not being able to conceive would be extremely hard, but that's a horrible way to act. I'm sorry for your loss.

Quoting KrissyV:

I do- but for very different reasons.  I conceived my daughter literally a week after my honeymoon.  At the time my husband's brother and sister in law were struggling with conceiving and saw it as a slap to the face that we would dare get pregnant before they did.  She made me feel like a terrible person any time I complained about morning sickness telling me that at least I could get pregnant. She was upset that I wouldn't look into homebirths and having a mid-wife and doula and that I was irresponsible for wanting an epidural. She even left the country when my daughter was born and has since tried to find ways to exclude my daughter from family activities even though she is pregnant now.  Getting pregnant a second time was no struggle but unfortunately both babies died in utero around 13 weeks.  She had the blatant nerve to tell me that although she would never wish for any baby to die, this taught me a lesson in humility and knew what she had felt like all along.  I am currently about 6 weeks pregnant while they are due for their first child.  Her horrible behavior has definitely made things difficult for my family and my husband wants very little to do with them.  I have learned that some people will just be major creeps and aren't worth your time.  If they wish to judge you then let them.  In the end you will have a precious little person who will love you unconditionally for just being his or her mom and no one can take that from you.


mem82
by Ruby Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 12:07 PM

I'm sorry!

Quoting taurusmom88:

A lot with my first one because I was 18. And with my 2nd one because I was only with the guy for a couple months and we were getting married. We misscarried our wedding night. We r now pregnant again (still within first year) but way less judgement this time. Although my family thinks I'm iff my rocker for wanting to cd and have a natural birth. Lol. Oh well.


taurusmom88
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:08 PM


thank you. it was very tough, but i do feel like the baby has come back to me with this pregnancy. my hubby and i even got matching chest tattoos to help us grieve and get through the tough time. we are due in march, 10 days before we miscarried last march.

Quoting mem82:

I'm sorry!

Quoting taurusmom88:

A lot with my first one because I was 18. And with my 2nd one because I was only with the guy for a couple months and we were getting married. We misscarried our wedding night. We r now pregnant again (still within first year) but way less judgement this time. Although my family thinks I'm iff my rocker for wanting to cd and have a natural birth. Lol. Oh well.




kimmie3577
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 1:39 PM

yeah i do with this one my first i didnt. more with the inlaws.... my sister in laws because there brother is 14 years older than me he is 49 and im 35 and he has two older kids from a previous marriage... his son is 22 and his daughter is going to be 19 in feb. and they fill that me and him should of just had the one even thought they still thought he was too old... so with this one they told us not too well not in so many words... but i was upset now they say they wont ever see this baby, we live 30 mins only from them and with gas we cant go down every weekend and we keep telling them how come they dont come up here to see our daughter... so i dont think they will drive up her to see our son when we are born...

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