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Pregnancy Pregnancy

Told the parents tonight, it was a disaster......help?

Posted by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:35 PM
  • 55 Replies

My SO and I told my parents tonight. They are extremely religous and son't like that we aren't married. We are happy together and don't plan to get married. It's just our choice.
We had to tell them eventually. So I got a book about being a big brother. Wrapped it up to give to my mom, telling her than i wanted her opinion on this book before i give it to my son.

She unwrapped it, and for a minute it didn't click. But when it did click, she threw the book at me, and was silent. My dad gave the worst angriest look I've even seen from him and said "you should be married" that's all he said the whole evening. After shock set in, my mom said "that's nice" in that tone and way that she always does because she's too passive to say her real feelings.

I donn't know whatto do about them, I knew it was unlikely this would go well.

I guess I'm just looking for some kind words, or advise or something. Anyone?

by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Pandapanda
by Cafe Panda on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:37 PM
1 mom liked this

Give it some time to sink in. :( I'm sorry they reacted that way. We're on baby #3 and i'll be 13 weeks tomorrow.. we haven't told because I am so very afraid of getting a negative reaction like this!  

Did they react like this when you were pregnant with your son? 

RiotPixie
by Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:38 PM
1 mom liked this
It'll be alright. It's your life and the life of your family. Not everyone can have a say-so in what you do. You have to live for you and your children. You're grown, you don't have to please your parents.
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trin123
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:39 PM
2 moms liked this

Sorry to hear that happened. I never understood why people put so much into a piece of paper. I am sure they will come around just give them time.

September2013
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:43 PM
I broke the news to my mom yesterday... I explained to her that i didnt want her to be so harsh bc i needed her.. She also said i should be married.. I think shes more sad then angry.. *HUGGS im sorry u had that reaction.. N i understand where ur coming from bc i wanted more kind words as well... Im 2 months preg.
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tinka_pixie
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:46 PM

Well it was totally different. I was married to someone else, and they had no cluewhat I was going through, how horrible the marriage was.

We had a picnic that day, and I brought a gift bag with a congrats card, and bear, and a book "chicken soup for the grandmothers soul". She opened it up, and her face lit up, she was in shock but she was really excited. She kept asking me, "really?"

they were excited through the whole process, they wanted to experience it with me. So yeah, this time, I knew this might happen, but I was hoping for a good reaction, I just didn''t get one.


Quoting Pandapanda:

Give it some time to sink in. :( I'm sorry they reacted that way. We're on baby #3 and i'll be 13 weeks tomorrow.. we haven't told because I am so very afraid of getting a negative reaction like this!  

Did they react like this when you were pregnant with your son? 



Pandapanda
by Cafe Panda on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:51 PM

I'm sorry. :( I hope they become more supportive over time!

Quoting tinka_pixie:

Well it was totally different. I was married to someone else, and they had no cluewhat I was going through, how horrible the marriage was.

We had a picnic that day, and I brought a gift bag with a congrats card, and bear, and a book "chicken soup for the grandmothers soul". She opened it up, and her face lit up, she was in shock but she was really excited. She kept asking me, "really?"

they were excited through the whole process, they wanted to experience it with me. So yeah, this time, I knew this might happen, but I was hoping for a good reaction, I just didn''t get one.


Quoting Pandapanda:

Give it some time to sink in. :( I'm sorry they reacted that way. We're on baby #3 and i'll be 13 weeks tomorrow.. we haven't told because I am so very afraid of getting a negative reaction like this!  

Did they react like this when you were pregnant with your son? 




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DKk0531
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:52 PM
1 mom liked this
Wish i could give some advice...my mil kicked a trashcan through a window when dh told her we are pregnant. So heres a bump :)
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Mrs.Andrews
by Mandy on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:53 PM
6 moms liked this

If I were you, I would tell them how dare they be negative about your baby, their grandchild. I would also tell them that they can choose to be in your life as a happy and supportive presence, or they can remove themselves. 

tinka_pixie
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:09 AM

I agree with you on this. But for now I'm hurt, and all I want to do is cry.



Quoting Mrs.Andrews:

If I were you, I would tell them how dare they be negative about your baby, their grandchild. I would also tell them that they can choose to be in your life as a happy and supportive presence, or they can remove themselves. 



roxiekittie
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:11 AM

my mom is like that but worst, i dont even tell her anymore that im having a baby, she says things like " keep your damn legs closed" (despite the fact im married) or "dont you have enough kids" so yep been there, i know it really hard not having their support but give it time, my mom always came around maybe they will to

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