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Pregnancy Pregnancy

16 and pregnant and no one wants to listen!

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 1:37 AM
  • 11 Replies

Okay, so, I'm 16 and pregnant with my first. I am so tired of listening to people tell me i'm not ready. I understand that. Who really is when their pregnant. My aunt is having her fourth and admits she is not ready. But there is one Woman in particular who irritates me the most. My boyfriends Cousin is always on my ass about what i have planned. she stares at me, laughing a if waiting for me to realize my life is "over". she made it seem as if mine and my boyfriend's happiness about the baby was Niave and childish. she gets mad at me for not telling her what i have planned and even though my boyfriend's mom has witnessed how much i put in for the baby, his cousin insists on drilling me everyday about what i have and even laughed in my face yesterday night because my first baby item was a high chair. saying i wouldn't be able to use it till the baby was 6 months to a year. She nit picks at everything i do, and i don't want to fight back because when i get mad and fustrated i burst into tears and cry (not a pregnancy symptom i particularly admire) how can i prove to her that i AM doing everything right? I am taking all my prenatal pills, i am with idk HOW MANY pregnancy programs. is it worth it? is she worth the time? please tell me!

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 1:37 AM
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Replies (1-10):
BuggadosMom
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 1:43 AM
1 mom liked this
You ignore her. She obviously has her own issues and seems to be taking it out on you. If it were me, she would be cut out of my life and my child's until she grew the hell up. Assuming she's older than you.

Just focus on your pregnancy and what you feel needs to be done with it and make it through it.
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abigailesmommy
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:02 AM
4 moms liked this

I want to start this reply by letting you know that I cast no judgement. I was a pregnant teen with my first. My then boyfriend and I decided to get married which seemed to make people think we were making the mistake bigger. We have now been married almost ten years with two beautiful smart daughters and one baby on the way. I just didn't want you to think that what I say next is a judgement in anyway. 

You are naive... but we all are at all ages. Until that baby comes there is no understanding how much your life will change. These changes are neither good nor bad. It all depends on how you accept them and how you allow yourself to grow. I don't think that your life is over it is just going to be a whole new life. I am not going to say that it is going to be easy because I believe that being a teen mom was one of the most difficult things I have done but it made me into who I am today and gave me strength that I didn't even know I had. 

The key to any situation but especially being a teen mom would be to surround yourself with supportive, loving, and understanding women who will also hold you accountable. Do not allow yourself to be pressured or bothered by anyone who brings drama. You have to do what is best for you and the baby. At any age a new mother is constantly given unwanted advice and is judged by other women who feel they know better than she does. They really do say things with the best intentions but I always tell my friends to take the suggestions they like and just let the rest roll off their backs. 

PAT (Parents as Teachers) which is provided free through local school districts is awesome. It was such a blessing for me to have that opportunity to learn and to have someone making sure my baby was developing normally. You are most likely already involved but if not check it out. 

I really do wish you all the best. If you ever have any questions or need to vent feel free to message me. You can do it and being a mom is one of the most amazing things I have ever been given the opportunity to do. Looking back, even though I know it was not the best decision at the time, I still wouldn't change a thing because I love who I am today and I love my kids. 

abbybabylove
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 3:36 AM
Hi there...first of all in my opinion pay no attention...if you realised you made a mistake or you got yourself into something big then you deal with it the way you want too. Go on preparing and doing what is right for your baby because that's all that matters,brace yourself also to be crucified and attacked and picked on because you are still young.I mean I am 22 pregnant with my first child and still dealing with people who has lots to say about my mistake.I always say no one needs to point a finger,you capable of doing that on your own...girl pull up your socks,take deep breathes of critics and I won't say cut negative people out of your life but simply just keep doing what's best for the baby and ignore every one else who has negative things to say.everyone is going to feel obligated to raise their opinions,its something we cant avoid and run from but let it not get to you or bother you so much.I even remember me being forced to feel sad and things when I've dealt with all that and started putting my life aside for this child's life.so don't let her or anyone get to you,or make you feel bad but concentrate on the little one and do what is best for he\she.also get advice or ask for advice if you not sure on what to buy first for the baby.here are a lot of great mothers that will help you,if you just ask them and you can even speak more with me if you need to vent girl or just need to blow off steam. Congrats on the upcoming baby and keep well:)
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NDADanceMom
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 3:40 AM
Who is ready? I am . My husband of many years is. That's why we planned to have a baby. If you are going to worry about what people say then getting pregnant at 16 was dumb. Most people will think its a bad idea to raise a kid as a teen.
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September2013
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:46 AM
Ok FIRST OF ALL, u dont need to prove anything to her, who the hell is she? She isnt ur bf nor ur bfs mother.. Honestly, she's picking at u bc u let her kinda bullying u.. Ur child is between u n ur bf n no one else, other then ur parents.. U dont need to prove ANYTHING to her!! Age has nothing to do with if ur going to be a good mother or nt. Im 21 n know ppl older then me that are suck ass parents.. Sorry, but u need to tell her to mind her business, period.. N im sorry to tell u, but she will nt stop until u stand up to her, it doesn't have to be a negative, immature approach.. Just let her know her comments, n opinions do not matter.
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lhc777
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:02 AM

No way, she's not worth your time. Hopefully your boyfriend would understand. Not sure how close they are. Trust me, it seems even people that you meet on a public bus will still try to tell you how to raise your child. Ignore them all. :) I started having kids when I was a teen and it has been the best experience of my whole life (now 36). Good luck to you and stay strong. When your baby is born she'll be jealous that you're such an amazing mother, even if she doesn't show it, LOL. Oh btw, my 17 yr old daughter is also expecting. I think you guys are already good mom's by keeping them.

amberandmonker
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 7:26 AM
2 moms liked this
You aren't ready. You are still a child, not old enough to finish school of get a decent job or make the choice to be married without parental consent in most states.
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Alex4
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:02 AM

Ignoring her is your best option. Let her know straight forward that you do not like her being so nosy - you are doing what you think is best, and that if she doesn't step back and nock it off you will limit or remove her from the baby's life. I had to make that threat when I was pregnant, and my partner and I actually made it so a household member was not to be around the baby for a good two weeks - the problem didn't go away fully, but it is much less of one since then (we let them be around each other again, with the understanding that we could do it again in a heartbeat). You can't prove to someone that you are doing things right if they do not want to hear it. I got some clothes for my daughter while I was pregnant that wouldn't fit until she's in 18 month stuff. Everyone was upset and thought it was a waste of space. My daughter is 5 months now - and she wears 12 months clothing. Also, she's been using a high chair since 3 or 4 months. You don't know what is going to happen - kids don't all grow at the same pace, and it's up to you what decisions to make. Don't let her get to you because it's not worth listening to all that!!

SarahMommie
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:03 AM
2 moms liked this
This was said perfectly! Unless someone was a teen mom themselves they only have slightly the idea of what you are going through!!!! Keep your head up I was a teen mom also and by the time my first DD was 9 months I owned my own home (with a cosigner) but I paid all my own bills by 2 I had graduated high school and owned my own buisness. I am still with the dad (still running that buisness goin on 4 years now) and we have 3 almost 4 beautiful children together a nice home an nice things. I did not get ANY respect until recently but I did not let that bother me. Even now people say dumb things like "are you going to get fixed" " how many are you goin to have" I smile and say as many as I want unless your willing to take over my bills?! So you do you and keep a smile on your face I am sure you can SHINE!!!

Quoting abigailesmommy:

I want to start this reply by letting you know that I cast no judgement. I was a pregnant teen with my first. My then boyfriend and I decided to get married which seemed to make people think we were making the mistake bigger. We have now been married almost ten years with two beautiful smart daughters and one baby on the way. I just didn't want you to think that what I say next is a judgement in anyway. 

You are naive... but we all are at all ages. Until that baby comes there is no understanding how much your life will change. These changes are neither good nor bad. It all depends on how you accept them and how you allow yourself to grow. I don't think that your life is over it is just going to be a whole new life. I am not going to say that it is going to be easy because I believe that being a teen mom was one of the most difficult things I have done but it made me into who I am today and gave me strength that I didn't even know I had. 

The key to any situation but especially being a teen mom would be to surround yourself with supportive, loving, and understanding women who will also hold you accountable. Do not allow yourself to be pressured or bothered by anyone who brings drama. You have to do what is best for you and the baby. At any age a new mother is constantly given unwanted advice and is judged by other women who feel they know better than she does. They really do say things with the best intentions but I always tell my friends to take the suggestions they like and just let the rest roll off their backs. 

PAT (Parents as Teachers) which is provided free through local school districts is awesome. It was such a blessing for me to have that opportunity to learn and to have someone making sure my baby was developing normally. You are most likely already involved but if not check it out. 

I really do wish you all the best. If you ever have any questions or need to vent feel free to message me. You can do it and being a mom is one of the most amazing things I have ever been given the opportunity to do. Looking back, even though I know it was not the best decision at the time, I still wouldn't change a thing because I love who I am today and I love my kids. 

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Nbebemakes4
by Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:10 AM
I got pregnant at 17 & had no support from the father. I definitely got a lot of shit, BUT my daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me. Everyone around couldn't imagine life without her.
Now I'm 24 & pregnant with my 2nd. I'm still not ready! But it happens, just do right by your child. Its your life not anybody else's! So as long as ur child grows up & is knows u did everything u could for them, then really.. that's ALL that matters :) good luck mama
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