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Pregnancy Pregnancy

going to be a single mommy

Posted by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:04 AM
  • 45 Replies
Well... looks like I'm oing this alone. I'm 22 1/2 weeks with my first and I'm not going to lie.. I'm scared.

Anyone have any advice? On how to handle a newborn alone, custody, visitations, child support ect ect.

My family is more than willing to help me, but its not the same. This is the bestthing for me and my son.. but I know it will be hard.
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by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
dizzydreamer
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:11 AM

I'm sorry, but I'm sure you'll do great. 

Larsbug
by Laura on Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:19 AM
1 mom liked this

 you will do great! Mama, even if you aren't alone it's scary lol...family help is great, so don't discount it. When the time comes you will figure everything out.

Hafsa1
by Bronze Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:31 AM
Is the father wanting to be involved? Is he helping with the pregnancy? If not, then I wouldn't put him on the birth certificate. If you go for child support, they will determine paternity. You have the option to give the baby his last name or yours. I gave ds my ex's last name, and ds (now 7) wants my last name. He hasn't seen his father in over 2 years and knows he's not a good person (not because I talk bad about him but from what ds sees and I'm not sugar coating anything to cover it up). i wish I hadn't put him on the birth certificate either.

Sorry you are going through this :(
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ajohnson08099
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:53 AM
He just left a coupke of days ago. So by fr not figured out. Its a messed up situation because he has another girl pregnant too. She's roughly a month a head of me (its complex.. we were married and seperated and divorced.. then got back together and I got pregnant wuthin 2 weeks. I didn't know she was pregnant... that's who he was cheating with and left to be with.)

So anyway he thought he could spend every other day with each mom. Doesn't make sens to me at all and isn't going to happen. I know he wants to be involved but that will be decided on the effort he makes from hre on out. I am now unsure if he will attend any other appointments or the birth (family hates him) so if doesn't show he won't be on the birth certificate. My son wl most likely have my last name anyway.

He will want to be involved as it benefits him as I see it. This other girl will have three kids so as I see it he can play daddy over tgere and ler me move on. Because as it sits he absolutely won't let another man step up seeing as he was stringing both us along making it where we couldnt move on.


Quoting Hafsa1:

Is the father wanting to be involved? Is he helping with the pregnancy? If not, then I wouldn't put him on the birth certificate. If you go for child support, they will determine paternity. You have the option to give the baby his last name or yours. I gave ds my ex's last name, and ds (now 7) wants my last name. He hasn't seen his father in over 2 years and knows he's not a good person (not because I talk bad about him but from what ds sees and I'm not sugar coating anything to cover it up). i wish I hadn't put him on the birth certificate either.



Sorry you are going through this :(
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ajohnson08099
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:15 AM
Thank you for making this featured.
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Hafsa1
by Bronze Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:41 AM
That stinks :( Amazing how they think you'll happily agree to a relationship like that.

When ex and I lived in the same area, it would always be an argument for him to take ds, unless of course there was a family get together at his gf's moms house, then he wanted to be daddy of the year and brag about ds and show him off. Or would buy ds a little matchbox car to make up for things he shouldn't have seen (to keep it a secret), or because he didn't take him for awhile, etc. I moved out of state and a year later he filed for custody saying I kidnapped my kid lol....he lost :) he didn't want custody, he just didn't want to have to pay support if we weren't there...not that he paid/pays it anyway.


Quoting ajohnson08099:

He just left a coupke of days ago. So by fr not figured out. Its a messed up situation because he has another girl pregnant too. She's roughly a month a head of me (its complex.. we were married and seperated and divorced.. then got back together and I got pregnant wuthin 2 weeks. I didn't know she was pregnant... that's who he was cheating with and left to be with.)



So anyway he thought he could spend every other day with each mom. Doesn't make sens to me at all and isn't going to happen. I know he wants to be involved but that will be decided on the effort he makes from hre on out. I am now unsure if he will attend any other appointments or the birth (family hates him) so if doesn't show he won't be on the birth certificate. My son wl most likely have my last name anyway.



He will want to be involved as it benefits him as I see it. This other girl will have three kids so as I see it he can play daddy over tgere and ler me move on. Because as it sits he absolutely won't let another man step up seeing as he was stringing both us along making it where we couldnt move on.




Quoting Hafsa1:

Is the father wanting to be involved? Is he helping with the pregnancy? If not, then I wouldn't put him on the birth certificate. If you go for child support, they will determine paternity. You have the option to give the baby his last name or yours. I gave ds my ex's last name, and ds (now 7) wants my last name. He hasn't seen his father in over 2 years and knows he's not a good person (not because I talk bad about him but from what ds sees and I'm not sugar coating anything to cover it up). i wish I hadn't put him on the birth certificate either.





Sorry you are going through this :(

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xxjadedhaloxx
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:42 AM

Where I live you are supposed to set up supervised visitation until the child is 3 since they are not able to talk and tell you if daddy isn't doing something right, etc.

Good luck!

xxjadedhaloxx
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:44 AM

You can do a name change and have his birth certificate ammended.

Quoting Hafsa1:

Is the father wanting to be involved? Is he helping with the pregnancy? If not, then I wouldn't put him on the birth certificate. If you go for child support, they will determine paternity. You have the option to give the baby his last name or yours. I gave ds my ex's last name, and ds (now 7) wants my last name. He hasn't seen his father in over 2 years and knows he's not a good person (not because I talk bad about him but from what ds sees and I'm not sugar coating anything to cover it up). i wish I hadn't put him on the birth certificate either.

Sorry you are going through this :(


Hafsa1
by Bronze Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:46 AM
Ex would have to approve it....or go to court....much easier if I done it that way in the beginning.


Quoting xxjadedhaloxx:

You can do a name change and have his birth certificate ammended.

Quoting Hafsa1:

Is the father wanting to be involved? Is he helping with the pregnancy? If not, then I wouldn't put him on the birth certificate. If you go for child support, they will determine paternity. You have the option to give the baby his last name or yours. I gave ds my ex's last name, and ds (now 7) wants my last name. He hasn't seen his father in over 2 years and knows he's not a good person (not because I talk bad about him but from what ds sees and I'm not sugar coating anything to cover it up). i wish I hadn't put him on the birth certificate either.



Sorry you are going through this :(



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Eternity807
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:48 AM

If you know you're not getting back together start custody proceedings as soon as possible.  When I met my dh his ex was 6 months pregnant.  They knew they weren't going to be together but had agreed on a 50/50 custody arrangement - outside of court - before he was born.  She was unable to stand by it and we missed out on a good portion of the first year of his life because we believed her.  If we could go back, we would have filled the paperwork the day he was born.  As it was, we didn't get custody established until he was 14 months old. 

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