I feel bad because..... **vent post** ((UPDATE IN PURPLE))
I can't seem to get 100% happy about having my 4th BOY. I was done having kids after my 3rd son and I was ok with the fact that I never got my girl, but then mother nature had a sense of humor and BAM! pregnant..lol On top of having to switch my brain back into baby mode, I'm dealing with the fact that once again it's not a girl. I wasn't trying for another baby and I was saving up money to get my tubes tied but I was hoping since nature threw this curve ball at me, that maybe this time it would be a girl. It's hard to see mothers with 2 boys and a girl or even worse, 3 boys and they finally got their girl. I know the most important this is he's healthy and he is (thank goodness) and I KNOW I'm being totally childish and selfish about this.....but I feel how I feel about it. I know when he gets here I'm going to be so in love with him and of course he'll never know how sad I am right now and I know most of it is hormones (got to love them) but I just wanted to vent to get it off my chest and I know this feeling won't last forever....just needed an emotional release I guess.
Thank you ladies for your support and honest feelings about my post. I loved reading all the responces and wish I could reply to them all but wow! it got up to over 200...lol I'm going for another ultrasound in a few days and I'm looking forward to it so I can see him again and keep wrapping my mind around the term "my 4th son". I can not say how much it meant to me to see all of you ladies in this post...everyone was honest and I love that. I'm nothing if not blunt and honest..lol :) Thank you again for the support. <3 I will of course be keeping you ladies updated on how my little man is growing. :)