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Pregnancy Pregnancy

Crazy 1st Time Daddy... Can He Stay By Her Side?

Posted by on May. 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM
  • 16 Replies

So my hubby has always been.....a bold person. He speaks his mind and can be pretty intimidating. He's very anti-medicine and has seen a doctor once himself in the 7 years we've been together, and that's when he was forced to have emergency surgery. Long story short, he refused all pain meds after... and crazy man had only been awake a couple hours before he started putting his pants on, demanding they remove his IV because he was going home, they ended up calling security -.- He's not at all violent, but he can be a bit of an ass.

He's very concerned for me and baby, I'm having a csection in a little less than 2 months. He doesn't want our daughter out of his sight. He told me today that during my surgery last year (I was already kind of out of it) a nurse dropped a needle on the floor and was going to use it on me, had he not spoken up. This is the kinda thing he's concerned about with our daughter. We're still discussing vaxing, but his main concern is they're going to do something careless, so he is stating that there is no way anyone is taking her anywhere even for a second without him.

As a new mom with no idea really what to expect I thought I'd turn to you ladies. I'm so concerned he's going to end up having security called on him. They can't legally take her anywhere without our permission, right? I just know it will be a tense situation if they try to tell him he has to stay put. I know the majority of society is probably trusting enough to be fine with someone taking their newborn for a second, to be honest I'm even that way, but my husband, not so much, and I do feel it's his right even if I/hospital staff think its a tad crazy.

CafeMom Tickers

by on May. 1, 2013 at 6:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CelestialSong
by on May. 1, 2013 at 6:46 PM

I think it's good he doesn't want to let her out of his sight. If they take her away, he should be there with her. I don't know how C-sections go and if they need to take the baby to another room, but with my first they checked her out right there in the same room I delivered, but my husband was right there with her holding her little hand. If he hadn't gone with her, I would have told him to, especially if they had tried to take her to a different room.

SarahMommie
by on May. 1, 2013 at 6:55 PM
Make sure you tell your nurses that you want someone with her at all times or yes they will take her away for her first bath and newborn screening
SarahMommie
by on May. 1, 2013 at 6:57 PM
They did that to me on my emergency c-section because I was scared and unaware from then on I always let them know they aren't allowed to take my babies anywhere:)
KPJ
by on May. 1, 2013 at 7:02 PM
I had a c-section with my first pregnancy.. I have always told my husband that after she was born and it was time for them to take her to neonatal care..for him to go with her.. While the doctors where finishing up with me..
Now I'm pregnant with my baby boy and I told him the same thing... Go after the baby while the doctors are finishing up with me...
If the doctors do something unsanitary or unsafe that can harm me or my son... Hell will brake loose... But you have to be Somewhat trustful on the doctors professionalism and that of the nurses as well..
Pandapanda
by Cafe Panda on May. 1, 2013 at 7:08 PM
2 moms liked this

Yikes- why the early cesarean? Is this your first baby? 

You and he have EVERY right to demand that the baby doesn't leave your sight. Their hospital policies don't matter when it comes to what the parents want, so long as she isn't having serious health problems. Even if she is having trouble, they can't take her out of his sight if you make it clear that it's your wish. 

I wouldn't trust ANYONE besides my husband with my newborn baby out of my sight.. period. Especially if I was having a medicalized birth.

baby2013143
by on May. 1, 2013 at 7:11 PM
At my hospital they never took her away. They asked me if I wanted them to jyst so I could rest but I said no. The rest of the things they did right there in my room. My hospital recognizes the importance of bonding with your child right away.
Emilytrademark
by on May. 1, 2013 at 7:17 PM
1 mom liked this

This. You have every right to demand that your baby stays in your presence at all times, and it sounds like your husband will make sure that happens. Good! You guys don't have to be best friends with the hospital staff, this is YOUR birth and YOUR baby and you have complete say over what happens to you guys. That being said, many people are too afraid to stand up to authority in that sense (I know I was my first birth). It sounds like your husband isn't and that is a good thing!

Quoting Pandapanda:

Yikes- why the early cesarean? Is this your first baby? 

You and he have EVERY right to demand that the baby doesn't leave your sight. Their hospital policies don't matter when it comes to what the parents want, so long as she isn't having serious health problems. Even if she is having trouble, they can't take her out of his sight if you make it clear that it's your wish. 

I wouldn't trust ANYONE besides my husband with my newborn baby out of my sight.. period. Especially if I was having a medicalized birth.


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brittany208
by on May. 1, 2013 at 7:28 PM

Find out hospital policy ahead of time. Our hospital said there is no reason baby ever HAS to be away from parents, so its fine if baby never leaves our side. If your hospital is the same way, then there's no issue.

Spring.Mom
by on May. 1, 2013 at 7:33 PM

I'm on your DH's side. I definitely don't want anyone taking my baby away without my hubby or myself present. I know it might sound over protective but after some of the stories you hear it seems necessary. I am having a tour of the hospital I plan on delivering at to talk to them about options And let them know my wishes.

xotatiannaxo
by on May. 1, 2013 at 7:48 PM

That sounds like a good plan, and its great hes on top of it! Just dont let them take her for any reason. or he goes with her. Why the c section tho?  oh and, i havent had a c section, but a some of my friends have, and if your husband goes with the baby you will be alone while they stich you back up and while you are in recover.  So just be aware of that too, maybe if the hopstial allows more then one person in the OR, get a doula.  and good luck! I wouldnt want my baby taken away either right after birth.

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