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Pregnancy Pregnancy

Needing advice...just disappointed I guess

Posted by on May. 15, 2013 at 8:03 PM
  • 10 Replies
I was just kinda curious who was gonna have who in the delivery room with them.

With my first I had my husband and and my mom with me. This time I'm not so sure I want my mom to be in there with me. She can't put the alcohol down. She has been partying really hard the last couple weeks. I could go into labor at any point and time. She wakes up and instantly starts drinking. She is a drama queen when she Dont get her way. But then again she's my mom. I'm just so disappointed and heart broken I have no clue what to do. Advice please.
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by on May. 15, 2013 at 8:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
witchiipooh
by on May. 15, 2013 at 8:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Honestly if it were me I wouldn't want her there. I would hope that it would be the wake up call she needed. Maybe just you and your husband, or maybe you could ask his mom if she wanted to be a part this time around?

19greeneyesmoma
by Angel on May. 15, 2013 at 8:17 PM

 

Quoting witchiipooh:

Honestly if it were me I wouldn't want her there. I would hope that it would be the wake up call she needed. Maybe just you and your husband, or maybe you could ask his mom if she wanted to be a part this time around?

 Took the words right out of my mouth..Totally agree..Its not being mean to her but she needs to realize that it hurts u and if she continues to be an alcoholic she will have no part in her grandkids life..Trust me I know I had to do the same to my mom..Diff. situation but it worked she finally woke up..And Im glad I did it..No matter how long it would have took..Just be patient and if its meant to be she will change her life...hugs

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butterbean491
by on May. 15, 2013 at 8:25 PM

I would tell her that if she wants to be there then she can't be drinking. Let her make the choice. If she can be sober then great, she can experience her grandchild being born. If not, then she missed out on a beautiful miracle. Don't beat yourself up over it if she chooses alcohol, it was her choice.  Most alcoholics don't realize the pain they cause family until its too late. 

jesuschild06
by on May. 15, 2013 at 8:32 PM
agreed. Sit down with her now and be firm. Explain that you would like her there but only if shes sober and also explain that since theres no set time and date for babys arrival, that means if she wants to be there she needs to not drink at all. Because even if she drinks right when she wakes... Baby could come in the next hour or two and she would have to wait until she sobers up to even drive.


Quoting butterbean491:

I would tell her that if she wants to be there then she can't be drinking. Let her make the choice. If she can be sober then great, she can experience her grandchild being born. If not, then she missed out on a beautiful miracle. Don't beat yourself up over it if she chooses alcohol, it was her choice.  Most alcoholics don't realize the pain they cause family until its too late. 


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Devious103102
by Ruby Member on May. 15, 2013 at 8:33 PM

I wouldn't allow her in the room or near myself OR my child(ren).  Sorry girl. 

Personally I've only allow my husband with me when I've delivered except for the one time he wasn't there (was on his way home for R&R from deployment), I had SIL with me. This time around I'm doing a home birth and I'm thinking about flying SIL out here to be with me (even if he is here). 

Mrs.Andrews
by Mandy on May. 15, 2013 at 8:36 PM

Have you told her how you are feeling and that the drinking is driving a wedge between you?

I think that's all you really can do. I wouldn't think it would be a good idea to have her in the delivery room drunk.

Buszfamily
by on May. 15, 2013 at 8:39 PM
I have sat down with her multiple times. M sister and i both have. we have told her that its hurting us but i feel as if she dont care. She's not aloud to watch my daughter anymore bc I'm afraid she is in danger when I leave her alone with my mom.

My husband and I have talked abt having his mom there also.
kman88
by on May. 15, 2013 at 8:41 PM

I'm only gonna have DF in the room with me. I don't want anyone's else with me and my mom totally agrees...his mom hasn't mentioned wanting to be in the room but if she did id tell her know. She didnt Make my baby so she can wait like everyone else to see her when we are done spending time as a family.

JustFox
by Member on May. 15, 2013 at 8:42 PM
My mom was in there until I was ready to push. That's mostly because I'm not married yet and shes my medical proxy until I draw up my papers. How her ass would've been in tge waiting room if she hadn't stopped with the alcohol.
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lillucky8
by on May. 15, 2013 at 8:45 PM
I only had my husband. Probably could have used someone else since he slept thru my labor but i couldnt focus to ask someone else to come. When it came to pushing and birth i only wanted him and the staff
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