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Pregnancy Pregnancy

not feeling very important these days....

Posted by on May. 19, 2013 at 11:04 PM
  • 8 Replies

The father of my unborn baby boy has recently gotten full custody of his two year old it took about a year and i was there supporting him threw the whole thing. I was happy for him until i relized id be pushed to the side ... his son sleeps in bed with him now i sleep in the guest room im lucky if we have sex once a week if that... when there not sleeping together he's taking care of him and know one else meaning me sometimes he wont even say goodmorning or acknowledge me. example : Talks to me without making eye contact :( I feel hardly any of the love he used to give me im starting to think he just used to to occupy him self because he didnt have him and now he does and he doesnt "need" me.

by on May. 19, 2013 at 11:04 PM
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Replies (1-8):
NoraDun
by Platinum Member on May. 19, 2013 at 11:36 PM
1 mom liked this

Sorry Hun, it sounds like he is being a father first and foremost. Your in a relationship with someone who has a young child from a previous relationship, that is never easy. If you can't be a mother figure to the child, and a partner to this man who has fathered your child as well, then you may have to move on! Good Luck

VanillaSprinkle
by on May. 19, 2013 at 11:44 PM

It's hard to feel like you are being pushed to the side. Try to set those feelings aside though and be proud of your man for taking care of this boy. This boy who will come to love you and know you as well. Children need so much. It's not that he doesn't need you. You are his wife, and it's not the same relationship as you have with your child. Try not to be jealous of the boy...I can completely understand that you are feeling pushed aside. This is somethign you are all going to have to get used to. He will be spending time with your baby too when he/she arrives and sometimes you won't be in the same room etc either. I'm sure a lot of the time you will be busy with the baby too...You will see ;)

Devious103102
by on May. 20, 2013 at 12:30 AM

Sounds like you really need to sit down and have a long talk with him about things. It sounds like he's trying to make up for time missed but he's going about it the wrong way. 

melissav1121
by on May. 20, 2013 at 3:36 AM

thatsanother thing ive tried being a mother figure to him and its like my man gets jealous. It's like he doesnt want me around at all ... like today for instance he took his son to visit his mom who is in a rehab  ... he comes back and we have some alone time first thing he does is go outside and smoke a cigarette a habit he pick back up a few months ago then he goes on a walk without me mind u im pregnant and need to walk something we havent done together for awhile. when he comes back i tell him i woulda liked to go for a walk with him so he tells me lets go i put on my shoes put up my hair only to find him lighting up another one ... so i can walk ahead of him obviously not next to him ... so it made me feel really down i dont get why he does stuff like that?

polkaspots
by on May. 20, 2013 at 3:59 AM
He does stuff like that because you're not explaining to him how it makes you feel. He sounds like a decent guy that doesn't realize he's upsetting you. It seems like from his perspective you're happy for him since he got his child that you help him to get. Try explaining how you feel in general instead of picking certain instances.
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melissav1121
by on May. 20, 2013 at 4:07 AM

I've tried explaing how i feel to him his reply is whos more important you or my son. thean he tries saying i use being pregnant as an excuse when i dont i said it once because i couldnt stop crying and ive been overly emotional because of my hormones.Him saying that makes me think what about the child inside me?  I try lending my help to him with his son and its not wanted he want to do everything himself which then makes him frustrated , tired or stressed out.  I wish there was a forum for him to go on cause i think he needs advice. Cause when i try to give him some its like im not qualified to be saying that what do i know?


Quoting polkaspots:

He does stuff like that because you're not explaining to him how it makes you feel. He sounds like a decent guy that doesn't realize he's upsetting you. It seems like from his perspective you're happy for him since he got his child that you help him to get. Try explaining how you feel in general instead of picking certain instances.



polkaspots
by on May. 20, 2013 at 4:14 AM
I don't know what to say. I hope things get better between you. Children always come first though. My husband knows that despite how much I love him, my kids are my priority as they are only toddlers. They need me more. Being pregnant isn't an excuse for anything since you haven't done anything wrong. Maybe wait a few days and try talking to him again.


Quoting melissav1121:

I've tried explaing how i feel to him his reply is whos more important you or my son. thean he tries saying i use being pregnant as an excuse when i dont i said it once because i couldnt stop crying and ive been overly emotional because of my hormones.Him saying that makes me think what about the child inside me?  I try lending my help to him with his son and its not wanted he want to do everything himself which then makes him frustrated , tired or stressed out.  I wish there was a forum for him to go on cause i think he needs advice. Cause when i try to give him some its like im not qualified to be saying that what do i know?



Quoting polkaspots:

He does stuff like that because you're not explaining to him how it makes you feel. He sounds like a decent guy that doesn't realize he's upsetting you. It seems like from his perspective you're happy for him since he got his child that you help him to get. Try explaining how you feel in general instead of picking certain instances.





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melissav1121
by on May. 20, 2013 at 1:53 PM

yeah i'll try again. thanks

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