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Judgemental moms

Posted by on May. 23, 2013 at 7:16 PM
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Why are there so many judgemental moms that feel the need to police everyones parenthood? A fellow coworker asked me what daycare I will be sending my son to and I told her that me and my husband actually prefer to hold off on daycare until he's at least able to talk and let us know if someone does something to him. She became very annoyed. She lectured me about how I will be robbing him of social skills and nothing is wrong with daycare. Mind you, I never said that I disliked daycare or that I wouldn't let him socialize with other babies/toddlers/humanoids or whatever. It really annoyed me that she felt the need to TELL me what she thought was best for my child, when in the end...this IS MY child. Me and my husband make the choices for him not anyone else. It's really no one else's business what you choose to do for your child.

Does anyone else have any personal stories of a time that they felt judged by another mom for a parental choice that differed from theirs?

by on May. 23, 2013 at 7:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LuvMyBoys09
by Bronze Member on May. 23, 2013 at 7:33 PM
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Haha! I have a MILLION of them, thanks to my ex MIL.
One that stands out immediately, is when my boys were teething (twins)....they were both cutting teeth at the same time and one of them (Michael), was worse than his brother.

We were at her house for a week, for a visit and he was screaming and crying in pain, so my now, ex, and I, went to the store to get some Tylenol and teething tablets and when we got back, my ex MIL started telling me that I shouldn't give him stuff for pain because it'll turn him in to a sissy and I also shouldn't pick him up to comfort him because it'll spoil him.

Every time I'd get up, to go to my son, she'd clear her throat and look at me like I was pathetic.
I finally got tired of it and gave my son the teething tablets and she got all kinds of pissy, telling me "You're just too damn stubborn to admit that I'm right and you're wrong!"

My ex sat there, scared to say anything because he would rather piss off his wife, than go against his mother....one of the many reasons why we're divorced.
Pandapanda
by Cafe Panda on May. 23, 2013 at 7:34 PM
1 mom liked this

My mother in law has flat out told me that we will not be cloth diapering this baby because SHE doesn't like cloth diapers.

HuntersMomma362
by on May. 23, 2013 at 7:44 PM
1 mom liked this
I havent given birth yet im at 40 weeks but i have had so much criticism about the name i picked out "hunter." Like you said its me and his dads decision. It certainly doesnt make us "hillbillies" especially since ive never lived in the country, and i love the name so i dont find it wrong to name my child a name that i like. -_- i really find it frustrating that others think they can make me change my mind over a decision that doesnt even effect them, so i know how you feel
LotusBubbleFly
by on May. 23, 2013 at 7:47 PM

 That's the one thing that I'm not sure if I'll be mentally prepared for. The MIL judging!!! lol...she doesn't live very close but she is already planning a visit soon so I'm worried that when she comes she'll try and take over and tell me whats best. I'm practicing my fake smile and nod. I heard sometimes that works at making them leave you alone lol

Quoting LuvMyBoys09:

Haha! I have a MILLION of them, thanks to my ex MIL.
One that stands out immediately, is when my boys were teething (twins)....they were both cutting teeth at the same time and one of them (Michael), was worse than his brother.

We were at her house for a week, for a visit and he was screaming and crying in pain, so my now, ex, and I, went to the store to get some Tylenol and teething tablets and when we got back, my ex MIL started telling me that I shouldn't give him stuff for pain because it'll turn him in to a sissy and I also shouldn't pick him up to comfort him because it'll spoil him.

Every time I'd get up, to go to my son, she'd clear her throat and look at me like I was pathetic.
I finally got tired of it and gave my son the teething tablets and she got all kinds of pissy, telling me "You're just too damn stubborn to admit that I'm right and you're wrong!"

My ex sat there, scared to say anything because he would rather piss off his wife, than go against his mother....one of the many reasons why we're divorced.

 

witchiipooh
by on May. 23, 2013 at 7:49 PM
2 moms liked this

I am a mother to be and I can only imagine how much worse it will get when I have my baby. It seems like everyone and their mother needs to tell me about the do's and don't of pregnancy, i.e. I got royally reemed out for drinking oj and eating oranges cause that's what I was craving, and was told that I am going to give myself a miscarraige, really wtf?!?!

tyely
by New Member on May. 23, 2013 at 7:52 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with you on daycare... But yes I have two sons, a baby on the way, and a step daughter. I come In contact with these types of parents all the time. DH's grandmother, who is more like my mother in law, lectured me on my sons going to a private school. I feel its best for my children. They benefit from it socially and their school has a wonderful curriculum. My 3rd grade tested post high school in two subjects on the stanford achievement tests. Her point was, "I don't see why they have to learn cursive at such an early age. They make them learn way too much at such an early age.". I was stunned. I could have rattled off educational statistics in our country vs. Other countries, etc. But I let DH tell her the pros behind it.

I feel a lot of his side of the family try to make it a competition between the boys and SD.... It's crazy.

I've had complete strangers tell my kids its okay not to listen to me. Once I wouldn't allow my son to take candy from a stranger in a grocery store. She told him not to listen to me it was ok. Needless to say he was put on the other side of me and she was set straight. I informed her that although she may be harmless I, nor my child know her and that was trying to teach him at his early age not to take things from strangers and that it was very rude of her, as harmless as she may think it is, to contradict my authority and she has no right to tell my son not to listen to me. She was embarrassed and apologized, but it was so out of line.

I really don't understand people. One lady lectured me about DH fighting for custody his daughter who was in a very abusive situation... I didn't even tell her about it or open up the discussion, but she felt the need to take the info. she got from a coworker that over heard a convo between me and one of my close friends, and jump me for it. Smh. There was no getting a word in. But I tried to set her straight.

I've learned I don't owe anyone an explanation. Sorry this turned out to be a vent more than a reply. Lol.
LotusBubbleFly
by on May. 23, 2013 at 7:52 PM

Oh man, I know what you mean. We got some grief over the first name we chose "Victor"...my mom thought the name was so bad and not fitting for her grandchild. It drove me crazy. Then I had to listen to her rants about why "Liam" is a better name. I really got upset. I told her over and over that this is not her baby and she got to name me what she wanted so I should be able to do the same. It got to the point where she totally killed the joy of us wanting to name him Victor and we ended up changing it. Then after changing it she says, "Why'd you change it? I started to like the name Victor." UGH!!!!!! lol!

Quoting HuntersMomma362:

I havent given birth yet im at 40 weeks but i have had so much criticism about the name i picked out "hunter." Like you said its me and his dads decision. It certainly doesnt make us "hillbillies" especially since ive never lived in the country, and i love the name so i dont find it wrong to name my child a name that i like. -_- i really find it frustrating that others think they can make me change my mind over a decision that doesnt even effect them, so i know how you feel

 

LuvMyBoys09
by Bronze Member on May. 23, 2013 at 7:53 PM
I'm not sure about most MIL's but my ex MIL believed that her way was the only right way and would justify this by saying that she had more kids, etc etc and I just never did give a rats ass about what she thought and it always pissed her off but I'm sure my ex MIL is one of the few TRUE nightmare in laws, so with yours, I'm sure you'd get your point across by simply saying "I appreciate your advice and I will take it in to consideration but if you don't mind, I would rather do X Y Z...."


Quoting LotusBubbleFly:

 That's the one thing that I'm not sure if I'll be mentally prepared for. The MIL judging!!! lol...she doesn't live very close but she is already planning a visit soon so I'm worried that when she comes she'll try and take over and tell me whats best. I'm practicing my fake smile and nod. I heard sometimes that works at making them leave you alone lol


Quoting LuvMyBoys09:

Haha! I have a MILLION of them, thanks to my ex MIL.
One that stands out immediately, is when my boys were teething (twins)....they were both cutting teeth at the same time and one of them (Michael), was worse than his brother.

We were at her house for a week, for a visit and he was screaming and crying in pain, so my now, ex, and I, went to the store to get some Tylenol and teething tablets and when we got back, my ex MIL started telling me that I shouldn't give him stuff for pain because it'll turn him in to a sissy and I also shouldn't pick him up to comfort him because it'll spoil him.

Every time I'd get up, to go to my son, she'd clear her throat and look at me like I was pathetic.
I finally got tired of it and gave my son the teething tablets and she got all kinds of pissy, telling me "You're just too damn stubborn to admit that I'm right and you're wrong!"

My ex sat there, scared to say anything because he would rather piss off his wife, than go against his mother....one of the many reasons why we're divorced.

 


HuntersMomma362
by on May. 23, 2013 at 7:56 PM
Wow... thats pretty messed up. My moms side of the family kept bugging me about naming my child something more sophisticated like edward or louis.


Quoting LotusBubbleFly:

Oh man, I know what you mean. We got some grief over the first name we chose "Victor"...my mom thought the name was so bad and not fitting for her grandchild. It drove me crazy. Then I had to listen to her rants about why "Liam" is a better name. I really got upset. I told her over and over that this is not her baby and she got to name me what she wanted so I should be able to do the same. It got to the point where she totally killed the joy of us wanting to name him Victor and we ended up changing it. Then after changing it she says, "Why'd you change it? I started to like the name Victor." UGH!!!!!! lol!


Quoting HuntersMomma362:

I havent given birth yet im at 40 weeks but i have had so much criticism about the name i picked out "hunter." Like you said its me and his dads decision. It certainly doesnt make us "hillbillies" especially since ive never lived in the country, and i love the name so i dont find it wrong to name my child a name that i like. -_- i really find it frustrating that others think they can make me change my mind over a decision that doesnt even effect them, so i know how you feel

 


LotusBubbleFly
by on May. 23, 2013 at 7:59 PM

 lol, when I think of sophisticated, I think of a baby coming out with a mustache and top hat lol...gotta love family though.

Quoting HuntersMomma362:

Wow... thats pretty messed up. My moms side of the family kept bugging me about naming my child something more sophisticated like edward or louis.


Quoting LotusBubbleFly:

Oh man, I know what you mean. We got some grief over the first name we chose "Victor"...my mom thought the name was so bad and not fitting for her grandchild. It drove me crazy. Then I had to listen to her rants about why "Liam" is a better name. I really got upset. I told her over and over that this is not her baby and she got to name me what she wanted so I should be able to do the same. It got to the point where she totally killed the joy of us wanting to name him Victor and we ended up changing it. Then after changing it she says, "Why'd you change it? I started to like the name Victor." UGH!!!!!! lol!


Quoting HuntersMomma362:

I havent given birth yet im at 40 weeks but i have had so much criticism about the name i picked out "hunter." Like you said its me and his dads decision. It certainly doesnt make us "hillbillies" especially since ive never lived in the country, and i love the name so i dont find it wrong to name my child a name that i like. -_- i really find it frustrating that others think they can make me change my mind over a decision that doesnt even effect them, so i know how you feel

 


 

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