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Pregnancy Pregnancy

Anyone else have unsupportive family?

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 10:28 AM
  • 21 Replies
My side of the family in particular don't think we should have so many children. The last time I was pregnant my mom flipped out and asked me if my head was screwed on straight. This pregnancy I haven't told anyone yet and I'm almost 12 weeks now. I can't keep it a secret much longer because this is #5 and I'm already showing a little. I'm really dreading telling people. I will officially be the family joke to my aunt and uncle 'the girl who can't figure out birth control' and I will hear it from my mom at less once a week. Dh says to ignore them and to not see them if they treat me that way, but the kids love visiting and I don't feel right taking that away from them.
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 10:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
gmoen1977
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 10:46 AM

next time they say 5 is too many say well at least i don't have 19.  love the show but crazy sized family.  my first and very few family members are supportive.  mother says miscarraige, sister says abort and his mom calls me pysco and money hungry.  his sister said thought she couldn't get pregnant.  guess the drs were wrong.

lynzi13
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 10:50 AM
1 mom liked this

Just remember that it's your life and you should live it for yourself, not others. Don't care what they think or say! 

When my mom reacted badly about my pregnancy (this is my first and she thinks I'm too young and stuff, I'm 21), I was really emotional about it at first because I really wanted to have a baby and for everyone to be understanding and supportive of that, but eventually I had to just say hey, i'm living my life the way I want to live it, and if you can't be nice to me then I don't need you around and neither does my baby.

Autumn19
by Ruby Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 10:50 AM
1 mom liked this
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rjmac88
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 11:02 AM
Yes. Unsupportive everyone really. I didn't tell people I was pregnant until about 21 weeks. It was horrible. We LIVE with family and I had to hide my belly and such. When people found out I got nothing but nasty comments. A lot of "ugh again?!" My grandmas first words were "not another one!!!" I've gotten a lot of pity and condolences from people for being pregnant. My husbands family just doesn't care. The first thing they said was "oh ok" and then being pregnant wasn't brought up again until recently... I'm almost 34 weeks now. My husband isn't super supportive. He's better than other people but still not amazing.

You might luck out. I am pregnant with #4 and even though I was HUGE with my
Other babies I didn't really show till 31 weeks. I was bloated early on and thought I was showing but it all went away.
meam4444
by Emerald Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 11:06 AM


This is a hard one mama.  I always have to tell family members who think they know better that it is a personal decision between my husband, God and myself...and that we know exactly what we are doing.  I honestly distance myself from those who are so negative about me having children.  I guess I find if they are negative with my husband and I having children, they don't have to be around them since if it were their choice that pregnancy/child wouldn't have happened.  All children are blessings...and honestly, as long as you take good care of them, they shouldn't say anything at all.  I probably wouldn't tell my mom if I knew she was going to be negative and when she finds out or asks, I would be completely honest as to why I didn't share the news with her....why share with people who aren't going to be supportive and loving...I guess I don't care to give them too much time of day.

((hugs)) and good luck!! 

LNLMommy
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 11:13 AM

 oh man..don't I feel your pain. My oldest two are 14 months apart..my family had a heart attack with that. Then I met DH-who has two kids from a previous relationship-so when I got pregnant with technically #5-everyone in my family had something smart to say. I am 8 weeks along and I don't want to tell anyone because I don't want to hear their mouths. DH isn't even being supportive this go round.

whitel14
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 11:17 AM
1 mom liked this

 I completely agree! This is our first, and my Fi and I are getting married in August. Obvioucly we would have waited until after the wedding for a baby, but sometimes life throws you curve balls. We both decided early on that we were really excited, and if everyone wanted to share in our excitement then they were more than welcome, but if not, then they could keep their negative comments to themselves!

Quoting lynzi13:

Just remember that it's your life and you should live it for yourself, not others. Don't care what they think or say! 

When my mom reacted badly about my pregnancy (this is my first and she thinks I'm too young and stuff, I'm 21), I was really emotional about it at first because I really wanted to have a baby and for everyone to be understanding and supportive of that, but eventually I had to just say hey, i'm living my life the way I want to live it, and if you can't be nice to me then I don't need you around and neither does my baby.


 

norahsmommy
by Silver Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 11:20 AM
Dh was really upset when I told him about this one. He stormed around and shouted and generally made me feel awful. But it was only for a few hours as he was really just worried about space and money. He is supportive now.
I'm sorry your dh isn't supportive. That's got to be hard.

Quoting LNLMommy: oh man..don't I feel your pain. My oldest two are 14 months apart..my family had a heart attack with that. Then I met DH-who has two kids from a previous relationship-so when I got pregnant with technically #5-everyone in my family had something smart to say. I am 8 weeks along and I don't want to tell anyone because I don't want to hear their mouths. DH isn't even being supportive this go round.
JustDG
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 11:26 AM

Sorry you have to go through this.  I just had a baby 11 months ago, and I am 10 weeks preg.  My grandmother (who practically raised me) was NOT happy to say the least.  (I am not married, she thinks children are financial burdens etc), but, I told her, i am an adult, and I dont ask anyone for financial help now, so I dont forsee myself doing so in the future.  And, that was that.  Just remind them that you are an adult and they do not have to support you or your children all they have to do is love you and your little family.

LNLMommy
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 11:29 AM

 I am hoping he will come around. With 5 kids in a small house-I understand his concerns but I know we can make things work out for the best..I could care less what my family has to say but I really want his support on this

Quoting norahsmommy:

Dh was really upset when I told him about this one. He stormed around and shouted and generally made me feel awful. But it was only for a few hours as he was really just worried about space and money. He is supportive now.
I'm sorry your dh isn't supportive. That's got to be hard.

Quoting LNLMommy: oh man..don't I feel your pain. My oldest two are 14 months apart..my family had a heart attack with that. Then I met DH-who has two kids from a previous relationship-so when I got pregnant with technically #5-everyone in my family had something smart to say. I am 8 weeks along and I don't want to tell anyone because I don't want to hear their mouths. DH isn't even being supportive this go round.

 

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