A list of the stupid shit said to me by one particular coworker...
After mentioning that I am tired: "Well soon you'll be able to nap all day once you're on maternity leave." Yeah, because that is how maternity leave works....
"How much have you gained?" "How much did you weigh before you got pregnant?" "We're going to start an office pool about how much you will gain and put you on the warehouse scale to measure." I think I might have told him I would stab him if he even attempted it.
"Haha, your belly is getting so big you'll have to rest it on the lab bench." I work in a lab and am on my feet almost all day and have to lean over lab counters.
After complaining about Round Ligament Pain after working on a particuar machine: "Yeah you're probably using muscles you're not used to using, but the exercise will be good for you." LIGAMENT pain dumbass, not muscle pain.
"Your husband should take a picture of your face while you're pushing and blow it up real big to show people." I told him his girlfried should squeeze his nuts as hard as possible and take a picture of his face for me.
"Oh yeah, baby must be hungry again." Anytime he sees me eating lunch or having a snack.
"So when are you going to drop that puppy?" Asking about my due date.
Of course all of this is coming from a man who has never witnessed a birth or been by a woman's side while she was pregnant even though he has a daughter. He might not make it until my due date if I have to keep hearing this shit.