See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
I don't want any houseguests after we come home from the hospital. By that I mean, overnighters.....and I don't want people just coming over unannounced. My dh is bothered by this, he feels bad telling his mother she can't stay with us when we get home from the hospital. His mother is traveling the same distance as everyone else, btw, both of our families live in the same area and we live about 2 hours away from them all. It feels intrusive to me, thinking about coming home with my first new baby to have someone else staying there with us. I'm not going to want help from my mil, or anyone else. I know a lot of people say that they felt the same and then changed their minds but I know I won't. I'm just a very private person, people trying to help without my asking, or people seeing me struggling are just real issues for me, and I just want that time to be about us adjusting to our new family, not feeling like I need to be putting on a nice face for my guest. Am I being weird thinking that the last thing we're going to want is someone staying in our house right after we get home from the hospital?
If I'm not being weird, I hope dh comes around to feeling the same once the time comes. I don't want to ruin his first experience either, but it's really hard not to kind of dictate the situation from where I am. :(
--I really appreciate all the support so far and for the majority of you not jumping to conclusions and making judgements about me and my relationship with dh. It's been really hard on me because I REALLY want to make sure he has the support he needs too. He doesn't seem to have a clear understanding of what takes place, which makes sense and hopefully our upcoming tour of the hospital will help answer any questions he has or hasn't even thought of. He knows that I encourage him to have whoever he needs outside that hospital room and as someone who has been a supporter for a mother in labor myself, I totally understand that the supporter needs a break and their own support from time to time, too. In case it wasn't clear before, I have nothing against guests after baby is here. I definitely want to share the joy, I just also want the intimate space for dh and I to bond with baby without having to worry about entertaining guests the entire time. I know not all people expect to be entertained, but my people do. :P
Thank you guys so much. This is our first child and by being there for my sister's labor and delivery I was able to get a good idea of what I would like when I am in that position. Dh is very supportive and he isn't givng me any grief at all. I guess I am just being oversensitive about making sure his needs are met, as well. He is being very understanding and absolutely wonderful about it. He understands where I am coming from but we do encourage each other to express how we feel and he does feel bad about telling his mom to stay in a hotel like everyone else is doing (I do believe her d is asking they split a room). To him it would be a problem if I was just saying no to only his mom but yes to my sisters or something, which I'm not, lol. Nobody else is asking to stay (even the one person who will be traveling 4 hours, she'll probably be splitting a room, too) and I am not wanting anyone else to stay. Again, thanks guys.