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Pregnancy Pregnancy

2nd baby and unhappy

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 10:56 AM
  • 82 Replies
I'm 6w4d today and not happy at all about being pregnant. My son is 2 year old and we have a pretty close bond. He still is cosleeping with hubby and I. People keep telling me that we need to have our son in his own bed before baby gets here, I'm not ready for that. Heck honestly I'm not ready for many changes people say needs to happen. Can't the baby just have his or her own room and my son still stay with us? Please someone help me. I feel like once the baby is born I'm not going to love it the same as I love my son. Is that wrong?
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 10:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
WishingAway
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 11:24 AM

Probably wouldn't hurt for you to chat with someone about your concerns. Since it was a surprise your probably feeling uneasy right now but as the baby grows you may bond better. 

matthew314
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 12:51 PM
That's actually what I was hoping to find on here was someone to talk to. My family are not around and even if they were they wouldn't be supportive cause they weren't with my first. I'm very unsure about a lot of things. My hubby kinda feels the same way I do. He says he's happy about the baby but he has been different this time around. So idk.


Quoting WishingAway:

Probably wouldn't hurt for you to chat with someone about your concerns. Since it was a surprise your probably feeling uneasy right now but as the baby grows you may bond better. 


eellison
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:06 PM
4 moms liked this

Not loving my second as much as my first was a huge concern of mine.  I talked to my mom about it and she told me that the heart makes room.  It is weird, because even if you don't think you will love this one as much, the first time you hold your baby your heart will melt all over again just like it did the first time around.  As for your son still sleeping with you, you can have your cake and eat it too.  Just get a bassinet for the baby and put it next to the bed and your son can still sleep with you.

EvrybodysFriend
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:08 PM
1 mom liked this
I felt similar to the way you did. I was worried about loving my 2nd as much as my first and if we would ever have a close bond. Once my second was born all of those worries and fears went away. I love him just as much as my first and couldn't have been happier :) I live watching them play together and be there for each other too. My oldest is 6 and my 2 is 3. I'm pregnant with number 3 and can't wait for this one to arrive. I feel like they are getting this gift just as much as my husband and me and can't wait for all of them to bond and grow together :)
You're not wrong with how you feel but after your next arrives you will feel amazed and blown away and possibly silly for ever having such feelings :)


Quoting matthew314:

I'm 6w4d today and not happy at all about being pregnant. My son is 2 year old and we have a pretty close bond. He still is cosleeping with hubby and I. People keep telling me that we need to have our son in his own bed before baby gets here, I'm not ready for that. Heck honestly I'm not ready for many changes people say needs to happen. Can't the baby just have his or her own room and my son still stay with us? Please someone help me. I feel like once the baby is born I'm not going to love it the same as I love my son. Is that wrong?
Allinaday
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:15 PM
1 mom liked this

Mother nature has mothers kick their babies out of the nest when they are too big.  It's a natural order of things.  It doesn't mean youo love your son any less.  If anything it means you love him MORE because you are encouraging him to grow up. My son still sneaks into bed with us and I love it.  But the new baby needs to take priority.  You might not feel that way now, but when he's born your Mommy instincts will kick in and you will do what's right.  It's better to gradually help your 2 yro adjust now, then shock him when the baby comes. Big hugs, I feel ya

Mommy of two, third one on the way!

www.healthyfitnessmom.com

livingforthem83
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:16 PM
1 mom liked this
They both can cosleep. When my 1 year old was born, my 2 year old slept with us. I slept on the couch with the new baby and gave the bed to my husband and daughter. We moved into the bed when my baby was about 6 months.

Now we have my 2 and 1 year old sleeping with us. We are trying to get then to sleep on their own, but it isn't going well. And we may just end up with 3 little ones sleeping with us.

I have 4 children, going on 5, and I love each one of them exactly the same.
matthew314
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:35 PM
Was first unhappy with the idea of the new baby? Did he or she show signs of feeling left out or anything? Can I have my son invovled with the baby. Or is he to young. Also he is kinda slow with speech do you think that he will understand things I tell him about baby?


Quoting EvrybodysFriend:

I felt similar to the way you did. I was worried about loving my 2nd as much as my first and if we would ever have a close bond. Once my second was born all of those worries and fears went away. I love him just as much as my first and couldn't have been happier :) I live watching them play together and be there for each other too. My oldest is 6 and my 2 is 3. I'm pregnant with number 3 and can't wait for this one to arrive. I feel like they are getting this gift just as much as my husband and me and can't wait for all of them to bond and grow together :)

You're not wrong with how you feel but after your next arrives you will feel amazed and blown away and possibly silly for ever having such feelings :)




Quoting matthew314:

I'm 6w4d today and not happy at all about being pregnant. My son is 2 year old and we have a pretty close bond. He still is cosleeping with hubby and I. People keep telling me that we need to have our son in his own bed before baby gets here, I'm not ready for that. Heck honestly I'm not ready for many changes people say needs to happen. Can't the baby just have his or her own room and my son still stay with us? Please someone help me. I feel like once the baby is born I'm not going to love it the same as I love my son. Is that wrong?

matthew314
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:40 PM
Is it wrong that I would rather the baby have his or her own room before I push my son out of the bed?
matthew314
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:43 PM
My son is only 2 I don't think he's to big for the 'nest'. He's alittle guy doesn't take up much room. I just don't think I would feel right kicking him out just to bring in the baby. That wouldn't be fair to my son


Quoting Allinaday:

Mother nature has mothers kick their babies out of the nest when they are too big.  It's a natural order of things.  It doesn't mean youo love your son any less.  If anything it means you love him MORE because you are encouraging him to grow up. My son still sneaks into bed with us and I love it.  But the new baby needs to take priority.  You might not feel that way now, but when he's born your Mommy instincts will kick in and you will do what's right.  It's better to gradually help your 2 yro adjust now, then shock him when the baby comes. Big hugs, I feel ya

Mommy of two, third one on the way!

www.healthyfitnessmom.com


mybabiesmama916
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:45 PM

 Aww I felt like that with my second I was so scared I wouldn't love her because I love my son soo much, it changes as soon as the baby is born you know you love it just the same, and don't listen to what people are telling you, you only change what you want to change it's your house and your kids.

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