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Need advice

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 10:40 PM
  • 9 Replies
I just found out that im pregnant with my 3rd baby my oldest is 7 and my youngest is 5 months my naby was born feb 8 and im due march 7 I have been thinking of placeing this baby up for adoption we do not have the income to support 3 kids I love my bsby I just feel so aweful for even feweeling this way any advice please
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 10:40 PM
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by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 10:50 PM

WOW! thats HUGE! how does the baby father feel about that? I really feel you should rethink ur situation. how far along are you?


by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 10:57 PM
My husband is in the same place I am wrre just both lost im 8 weeks along
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:14 PM

Before giving the baby up for adoption and doing something you may regret, I would suggest getting with a DHS case worker if you haven't already.  There may be programs that could help take some of the financial burden off of you.  I am not saying that welfare is the answer, but it is something you should consider if you aren't 100% wanting to give your baby up for adoption.

by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:15 PM

 there is nothing wrong with placing this baby for adoption if you know you cannot afford another mouth to feed... it's not an easy decision to make and it won't be easy but if you feel this is the best decision for you and your family than you are giving an amazing thing to another family.

by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:23 PM

If you think that is the best choice for your family, then do so. My suggestion is research all three of your options, abortion, adoption, and parenting, figure out how each would work, what resources you have, and then decide what you really want to do. Remember, they are all permanent choices, make sure you can live with whatever it is you decide. Good luck!

by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:36 PM
I feel like such an aweful mother for even thinkin this way but tjen I think of all the things the other parents would be able to do for my baby
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:13 AM
1 mom liked this
Sounds like you might be overwhelmed. It's completely normal to be overwhelmed from time to time as a human and as a mom. Make an effort, however, to recognize that financial fears can't and should not have the last word. You should definitely seek out advice re: finances and assistance as other posters have mentioned. And do not be ashamed of seeking welfare if you need it. That's what it's there for. You pay taxes! If you need assistance do not let silly people shame you.

When I was a kid we were poor. I am now a lawyer, own my own apartment and have a decent retirement portfolio. All that to say (1) circumstances change, (2) kids don't need a silver spoon to succeed, and (3) you should have no shame in asking for help. Financial troubles do not last forever!!!

I think the real question, which you already may have answered, is whether you have enough love to share with another child. Money comes and goes. I've been laid off 2x and its scary as hell, but I was able to bounce back even after taking a job that paid 75% less than I had previously been making! Do not let money (or fear that you will not have enough) be the sole motivating factor in your decision!!!! Definitely get out there and start doing your research. You have time to make a decision. You don't have to let this weigh heavily on you now.
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:43 AM

My daughter will be one year old in a couple weeks and I am due when she is 18 months old.  It was a complete surprise and shock.  I did not want any more children at all and was a bit of a shock with my daughter.  Getting pregnant this time I for real went into a depression and thought about abortion and adoption both, after a few weeks, I came to terms with it.  IDK where you live, but Id apply for medicaid/food stamps etc, look into local charities that help with rent, utitilites...there are also those pregnancy counselling places (I went to one here in Nebraska and they gave me a free preg test and u/s and have all sorts of classes that if you complete you get a crib and little coupons to use in their baby store for clothing and other items, it is worth looking into)  I wouldnt make a permanent decision at 8 weeks when you already have two kids.  I actually have a friend who had 3 children, adopted out the 4th and then had 3 more, she regrets the decision every day of her life.

by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 11:07 AM
Do what's best for the baby, even if its not the ideal situation. If she/he will be better off with another family that is financially stable, then I would do that. You don't want your child to lose out in life. You want them to get everything they can. That's just my thought on it. But good luck! And I hope you make the right choice for your baby.
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