Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Pregnancy Pregnancy

Tubal Ligation - Need some advice!

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 12:43 PM
  • 26 Replies

DH and I have always wanted just two children. Our DD will be 5 when this baby is born. I only have a few more weeks until I found out what baby bean is, but we are rooting strongly for a boy. I've always said that after two, that was it - that I'd get my tubes tied. HOWEVER, that was before I had kids :).

As with most decisions involving my children, this makes me pause and think. What if this baby is another girl? I'm not saying I wouldn't love it less - not by any means - but DH & I both want a boy, really, really, really bad! If this baby is a boy, I don't think this decision would be one to second guess at all, as we've dealt with 2 or 3 more with our DD, and we KNOW we only want two. But, again as with all decisions dealing with pregnancy, it is tough! I always wonder, if this baby is a girl, will I regret getting them tied? Will I always have a yearning for a boy?

If you were to have your tubes tied, do you think that you would ever regret it? If you're doing tubal ligation after your current pregnancy, how did you come to this decision? If you don't believe in it, please, don't add mean comments, but I just need some other mama's input - this is not something set in stone, by any means, and it might be something that we don't even end up doing. This baby was a long time coming, and even though it would really, really, really suck to go back on BC after almost 5 years, I'd do it. LOL. I just need some advice from other women.

Oh, and don't get me started on a vasectomy. DH is totally against it, and with this baby, I am going to have a c/s, so if we do decide on it, then my Dr. could do it while I was on the table (I assume??)

Jeremy + Melissa [[07*26*08]] = Rylee Rae {{10*21*08}}

BFP on 06/22/13 after 42 months of TTC!! EDD 02/14/14, thinking blue!

CafeMom Tickers

by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 12:43 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
HKing01
by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 1:00 PM

I have decided to get my tubes tied after the baby is born because DH refuses to get a vasectomy. Also this is our 4th baby. We haven't found out the gender yet but we already have 2 boys and a girl and I'm not rooting for a specific gender this time. All of my children have been c-sections and that is my main reason for wanting my tubes tied. If you really want a boy and end up with another girl I wouldn't do it. But then again you could be like the lady that just had her 12th son who wanted a girl.

DesertDuck
by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 1:49 PM

DH and I are talking about a tubal ligation, too. Ironically, he says he'd prefer to get a vasectomy, even though I'm most likely going to have another c-section--I think he's worried about me having complications. We're still researching. This will be our second child, too, and we both agree our last.

Neither one of us had a strong preference for either gender with this one. I know families that have two girls who are best friends, families who have one or more of each, and it seems to work for all of them. For us, the deciding factor was age, energy, and resources. There's going to be 7 years between this one and DD. I'm 39, and I don't want to be a really old and tired grandma, lol. If we feel led, later we'll look more into fostering.

It's a really personal decision, and at least you have time to think about it.

jakesmom323
by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 1:53 PM
Wait 6 months after the baby is born and reevaluate;) Your not supposed to make drastic decision being hormonal. Hehe. My husband got a vasectomy 6 months after my second son because he knew I would try to get a girl. Lol. He knows me very well and knows I cant handle 3 kids w/ his work schedule and we would have to alter our financials and we are very spoiled. Among a long list of other reasons. Dont do it if your not sure and good luck;)
KylersMom8-16-7
by Gold Member on Aug. 17, 2013 at 5:02 PM
I'm having my fourth boy. I did want a girl but four is enough. I love my baby boy already and when he's born in January I will absolutely be in love with him just like my other boys.

My tubes will be tied during my c-section and my DF has agreed to a vasectomy so no more babies. I'm a little sad but I'm only going to be 24 when baby comes so I want to be able to raise my kids, then enjoy my life with my husband once the kids are grown and moved out.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mushmom
by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 6:25 PM
With our second, we considered a tubal. Even notified my ob. We didn't know the gender but we were done either way. We were older, I was 36. When it came down to it, I backed out. I couldn't explain it. Our second ended up being our second girl. Then about a year ago at 38,almost 39, I asked dh what he thought about trying again. Not for a boy because we know we can't control that. We agreed we'd try for a few months and see if it was God's plan to give us another. Two months later, we were pregnant. So my advice to you is not to have a tubal. People say when you're done, you know. There's no questioning that your family is complete. If you don't have that feeling, absolutely do not do it.
Mommyver
by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 7:30 PM
I jurt had my bby boy 4days ago and my tubal two days ago and it the best decition and 3gurls and 3boys.is enough for me.
Leila0907
by Member on Aug. 17, 2013 at 7:48 PM
I'm due sept 4th with my second its a boy and have dd already.. My consent is signed when I have my csection I will have tubal done at that time... I was always ok with one child and I will have two more than enough for me
lifeforchrist
by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 7:59 PM

 any husband who would be on board with his wife getting her tubes ties but refuses a v is an idiot. There are a thousand more complications with a tubal and its easier to reverse a v. Your attempt for a boy may end up like my friends attempt for a girl. Six boys later. Be happy with what you have.

LNLMommy
by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 9:17 PM
I really want a boy but either way. .we are done. DH got his vasectomy last week. If you are unsure then wait a while after baby gets here. It's something too permanent to be unsure of.
livingforthem83
by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 11:46 PM
Yes, I would have regrets if I got my tubes tied. I thought about doing it after this baby but something didn't sit right with me. I told my husband that it is is through then he can get fixed.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN