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Pregnancy Pregnancy

confused on what to do, advice needed!

Posted by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 9:45 AM
  • 17 Replies
I just found out that I am 6 weeks pregnant. Me and my bf have been together 4 years and never got pregnant until now. He freaked out! He says he's not ready for a kid and doesn't want one. Even after calming down from the shock, he still says he doesn't want one or to even talk about it being an actual baby. He says that if I choose to have the baby he will leave because he doesn't want that, and tells me to get an abortion. I don't want to do that, I want to keep my baby but I'm also scared to lose him and go through this all alone.... I just don't know what to do at this point.

Any advice?
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 9:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
WishingAway
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 9:48 AM
1 mom liked this

You had unprotected sex together he knew the consequences. Don't ever do something you don't want to do.. it sounds like you don't want to lose this baby.. but I get he means a lot to you. Tell him your keeping the baby if that's what you chose he might come around. He is just your boyfriend its not like you know hes going to be around forever anyway but if you abort and didn't really want to you will carry that guilt forever. 

VintageWife
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 9:49 AM
4 moms liked this
Oh good heavens...anyone threatening to leave me for not killing THEIR child is free to go! You won't be doing it alone. He'll have to financially support the baby and your family and friends will be there for you and eventually you'll meet someone that is a real man that will love you AND your child.
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jennybabyy09
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 9:51 AM
I don't want to lose it. I know I wont be able to live with myself if I do.. I'm just terrified to do it alone. He's been my whole life for 4 years so the thought of him leaving is hard. I'm just trying so hard to convince myself that if he leaves I'll be alright without him..
CelestialSong
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 9:53 AM
5 moms liked this

My opinion... any guy who says something like that to his pregnant girlfriend after being together for 4 years is finally showing his true colors.

cmck22
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 9:57 AM
2 moms liked this
To hell wit him ... A) he'll eventually come round or B)you'll collect child support ... If you've been together this long and he dosnt know he wants to be with you no matter what and has the nerve to give to you and ultimatum like that then he dosnt deserve you no matter what u decide ... get rid of him him because if u get ride of the baby for Him you will never forgive him and it will always be in the back of your mind and u wount end up having a good relationship wit im anyway ... especially you've been together long time I now its is hard o break away from someone your so attached to bt reall hes a jerk if he wound make you choose like that ... Im sorry :(
HUGS

A+C=LOVE ... married 8-9-11 ... Expecting our first sept 2013 !!!




VintageWife
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:04 AM
1 mom liked this

 Look at it this way. Any man that insists you kill your child or he'll leave you has finally shown the kind of man he can be. It seems to me that even if you go through with the abortion, he'll find another reason to be done with you (or you with him) at some point and then you'll hate yourself for getting rid of your child for some man that showed his true colors before you even got rid of said child.

I know you love him. I get it. It's hard to leave someone you've been with a long time. We all go through that. I had a bf that I was with forever too and then I realized we didn't want the same things and I had to find someone that did. It wasn't easy to leave someone that I was familiar with for someone that I didn't know a lot about but wanted the same things in life I did. Guess what though...I've been with the other guy 13 yrs and we've been married 11 yrs now and I'm pregnant with our 4th child.

Quoting jennybabyy09:

I don't want to lose it. I know I wont be able to live with myself if I do.. I'm just terrified to do it alone. He's been my whole life for 4 years so the thought of him leaving is hard. I'm just trying so hard to convince myself that if he leaves I'll be alright without him..

 

jennybabyy09
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:19 AM
Well on top of showing his true colors giving me this ultimatum, he's also getting his mother involved to convince me that I am not ready for a baby and not to ruin his life... he's 23.
RJC78
by Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Let him go.  Your child is much more important.  There is always the option of adoption as well if you don't feel you can raise a child alone.

dolphingurl1286
by Bronze Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:30 AM
1 mom liked this
Don't do something you don't want to. You will regret it. You can do this by yourself. Good luck
mommie2madison
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:39 AM
1 mom liked this

You have to decide what YOU want to do.  If you want this child, have it.  If you don't want to raise the child alone, then consider alternatives.  But if you're going to make a decision to appease him or "keep him around" - it won't work out the way you plan - ultimatums never do.  It doesn't sound to me like he's a keeper anyway.

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