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Pregnancy Pregnancy

Excited! but...

Posted by on Sep. 8, 2013 at 10:57 AM
  • 12 Replies

I just found out last night that we are expecting Baby #2!! YAY we we're not actively trying, but we are elated!! Our first child turns 3 tomorrow, and he is going to be a great big brother!

Here is the problem.... my best friend who was TTC, just miscarried a week ago. I want to share with her, but I know this is a sensitive time and I don't want to offend her. When is the right time to share? I also don't want her to think I am keeping this from her when she does find out. What to do??

by on Sep. 8, 2013 at 10:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LeapBaby123
by Kathleen on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:40 PM
I had a friend who was just a couple days behind me that miscarried at 8 weeks. I hadn't yet shared that I was pregnant and I didn't until I was 14 weeks. She was very happy for me at that time, and I felt like it gave her time to grieve her loss.
Devious103102
by Ruby Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 2:01 PM

I'd give her a few days, maybe, and then just share the news. She may be a bit sensative about it but I'm sure she'll be happy for you (been there, in both of your positions). Good luck & congrats!

tabby21
by Bronze Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 2:17 PM

awww congrats......im sorry i dont have Advice.....but my friend was a few weeks behind me and she lost the baby and now i am 13 weeks and i try not to bring up the new baby to her now.....(this was going to be her third) but just give her some extra time and wait a few weeks...best of luck!

CafeMom Tickers

CafeMom Tickers

mommyof2andTTC
by Bronze Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 2:20 PM
I waited a while... if she is a good friend she'll be happy for you no matter what... I would get checked by the doctor and get the first ultrasound before even telling your parents... you kust never know what coyld happen...
katallison
by Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 2:20 PM
I'd wait till you are 12 weeks. I know its hard not to share now with all the excitement, but you will be passed the 1st trimester and it will give her time to grieve her loss. At least wait till you've gone to the doctor and had your 1st sonogram. I don't think a few days is enough time for her...
Babes2626
by Bronze Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 9:30 PM
1 mom liked this

I would wait until after the first trimester to share Btw congrats :)

samsanders
by Samantha on Sep. 8, 2013 at 9:35 PM
Congrats! But I'm so sorry about your friend. I just recently went through one myself in April. And I had two friends tell me they were pregnant shortly after. To be completely honest it will hurt her no matter how long you wait. Its a loss and hurt that just never goes away. The only thing that helped me was getting pregnant again two months later, and this will be the only thing that will help her. But my opinion is wait for a couple of weeks. Just to give her time to get through the worst part of it. And you don't have to give her an excuse as to why you waited. But you know her the best, so do what feels right.
coupon_ash_back
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 1:18 AM

I know it seems like it would a negative situation, but it may be what she needs to hear is that something good is happening to a dear friend. congrats btw!

Mrs.Andrews
by Mandy on Sep. 9, 2013 at 1:20 AM
1 mom liked this

Congrats!

My best advice for your friend is give it a week then just tell her. Let her know exactly what you said here. I'm sure she will understand and appreciate your honesty and caring. 

I didn't think it would be possible for me to get pregnant and a girl I worked with knew we would be trying soon. She got pregnant right before me but kept it a secret because she didn't want me to be upset. I found out from our boss that she was pregnant. It really bothered me that she didn't let me be excited for her. I would have been happy for her whether I got pregnant or not. 

jjchick75
by Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 1:50 AM
1 mom liked this
I would wait a few weeks and then take her out to lunch or something. My sister had 2 loses and my son and DIL found out they were expecting their 2nd child shortly after her last loss and then shortly after I had miscarriage with twins, and then the day I was supposed to have my D&C one of my very good friends found out she was pregnant. My son and DIL were going to announce their pregnancy at cookout and they took my sister aside and let her know. She is really happy for them and appreciated them thinking of her. My friend bought me a bracelet with 2 angels on it and took me to lunch and after we talked about my loss she told me about her pregnancy. It really touched me that she thought about me and allowed me to celebrate with her but respected my loss and my pain.
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