Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Worried about Being a Mom

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 12:12 PM
  • 5 Replies

Hi.


My partner and I are thinking about having a baby in the next three years and I have some major concerns about being a mom.

I'm worried my partner won't make a good parent. I'm worried I'll get so frustrated when the baby won't sleep that I might accidentally hurt it. I'm worried that if the baby prevents me from furthering my career I'll resent it. I'm worried that my partner will get so wrapped up in her computer that she won't notice if the baby (toddler) wanders into the pool. I'm worried about everything.

 All you moms out there...how did you know you were ready? How did you know your husbands/partners were ready? How did you over come frustration when the baby just wouldn't sleep? Please tell me that these worries are normal and that they don't mean that I can't be a mom.

Thanks!

by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 12:12 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-5):
Raeann11
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 12:34 PM

I have always know I wanted to be a Mommy and wanted to wait till I in my late twenties. When I meet my hubby and started to date and get to know him. I knew he would be a wonderful father.

As for baby not sleeping. I knew baby will be up a lot and hubby was wonderful at letting me get naps when he is home. I knew that it would not always be like this. That baby at some point and time would start sleeping through the night.

Everyone has there own worries about things and have to work through them.

bamamommy2009
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 2:09 PM

 i was not ready...my dh wasnt ready..but to me that was part of the growth that baby brought to us. with my first i was in teh military and i had to leave{ single mom} wheni found out i was expecting- it hurt to leave bc i do believe in it still to this day but can not go back in for personal reasons- i went from being a wild out every night young adult to singing every night to my baby. i will nto lie there were nights that i wondered if i would make it but i tell you this anytime that thought crossed my mind{mostly when she wouldnt sleep]  i would pick her up walk her around the house or go take a shower with her and talk it out with her- i was going through a change and so was she. there were times i cried with her but it made it all ok, we made it. when i met my dh he was young never had kids, and here he became a step dad and very soon after a dad to his son. he was a gamer and would zone out playing..it came iwth time but soon he learned better to watch the kids. yes i locked all chemicals i was always affraid my toddler would get out my back door and into my hot tub- i ha da lock way above the door knob to keep her from opening it. my youngest got into the kitchen one morning{ his sister opened the bottle} and he drank a half bottle of benodrile- talk abotu freaking out. but you knwo what he made it- the point that i am making is not that i suck at parenting but that things will happen whether you try really hard to prevent them or they come out of the blue. you will never be READY for kids it is part of the pregency and delivery when it hits you, and as they grow you grow. it is not all about no sleep crying, and not all about giggles and kisses but that is th part you will remember the most of bc the 'bad'things will be the smallest detail so dont fret about it:) good luck to you both :)

Clemency3
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 2:31 PM
1 mom liked this

One thing I learned from my Husband is...worry about what is within your control. Your partner is not in your control so gotta let that one go. Your baby won't be perfectly within your control so you gotta go with the flow of that. The more you worry about these things...you're right the more you won't be ready. 

EVERY person goes through these fears but at the same time comes around and learns to let go a bit. It's a control thing. Gotta learn not to feel the need to be in control all the time and accept when things are different than you expected. 

This is my 3rd and ALL 3 were surprises for us. With my first...I was pregnant and hating my husband. I didn't think he would come around but had no choice but to hope he would. After 9 years of our relationship/marriage, he has come around completely. Yes mistakes will be made, not just on your partner's side but on yours as well. Mistakes HAVE to happen in order to learn. I dropped my son when he was an infant and then he fell out of my arms as a toddler and they both were pretty bad falls. He is now 9 years old and I still haven't let it go completely but have gotten better at the fact that I make mistakes. 

The biggest thing to make being a better parent is to accept the mistakes and learn from them. And to also accept not being in complete 100% control over situations. That is the best advice I can give you. You will never know 100% if you will make a good parent or if your partner will when no child has been produced. You learn that as you go along with it. 

CafeMom Tickers
Clemency3
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 2:32 PM
1 mom liked this

that first line says it all. it was the same for myself and my husband. 

Quoting bamamommy2009:

 i was not ready...my dh wasnt ready..but to me that was part of the growth that baby brought to us. with my first i was in teh military and i had to leave{ single mom} wheni found out i was expecting- it hurt to leave bc i do believe in it still to this day but can not go back in for personal reasons- i went from being a wild out every night young adult to singing every night to my baby. i will nto lie there were nights that i wondered if i would make it but i tell you this anytime that thought crossed my mind{mostly when she wouldnt sleep]  i would pick her up walk her around the house or go take a shower with her and talk it out with her- i was going through a change and so was she. there were times i cried with her but it made it all ok, we made it. when i met my dh he was young never had kids, and here he became a step dad and very soon after a dad to his son. he was a gamer and would zone out playing..it came iwth time but soon he learned better to watch the kids. yes i locked all chemicals i was always affraid my toddler would get out my back door and into my hot tub- i ha da lock way above the door knob to keep her from opening it. my youngest got into the kitchen one morning{ his sister opened the bottle} and he drank a half bottle of benodrile- talk abotu freaking out. but you knwo what he made it- the point that i am making is not that i suck at parenting but that things will happen whether you try really hard to prevent them or they come out of the blue. you will never be READY for kids it is part of the pregency and delivery when it hits you, and as they grow you grow. it is not all about no sleep crying, and not all about giggles and kisses but that is th part you will remember the most of bc the 'bad'things will be the smallest detail so dont fret about it:) good luck to you both :)


CafeMom Tickers
Devious103102
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 2:50 PM

For me it was never a question of IF I'd be a mom, just of when and it happened very early on (I was 17.5 when my oldest was born).  Fears are normal but you'll figure it out. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)