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WINNERS ANNOUNCED Q&A with Kate Hopper, Author of Ready for Air: A Journey Through Premature Motherhood

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CafeMom is excited to welcome Kate Hopper, author of Ready for Air: A Journey Through Premature Motherhood, to the Pregnancy group. Kate will be taking your questions until November 1st.

Kate breaks the silence and shares what it's like to be thrust into motherhood before she had anticipated. She shares a harrowing, poignant and occasionally hysterical journey through premature motherhood, from the starting point of 'leaking a little protein' to the early delivery of her tiny daughter because of severe preeclampsia and the beginning of a new chapter of frightful, lifelong love. 

Want to know more about premature birth, NICU stays, preeclampsia, or how to write out your story? Ask your questions here!  Kate will answer your questions starting October 28 through November 1. Three moms who ask a question will win a copy of Kate's book: Ready for Air: A Journey Through Premature Motherhood.


The Giveaway Rules:

The Ready for Air Giveaway starts 10/21/2013 at 11am (ET) and ends 11/1/2013 at 11pm (ET) (the "Giveaway Period"). Enter by replying to this post with an appropriate comment during the Giveaway Period.
Multiple entries are permitted and encouraged, as it increases your chances of winning. Three winners will be selected in a random drawing of all eligible entries to receive a Ready for Air Book.
The random drawing shall occur on or about 11/15/13. No Purchase Necessary. Open to US, DC, and PR residents 16 years and older. Void where prohibited. Click here for the rest of the Official Rules.
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:14 PM
Replies (51-60):
meam4444
by Emerald Member on Oct. 28, 2013 at 1:00 PM

 I can't even imagine what you were going through esp. with her developing sepsis.  You are amazing for sharing your story, emotions, and heart with us all.  <3

Quoting KateHop:

 

I don't know if I'd say I had a breaking point. The hardest day in the NICU was when Stella developed sepsis and I thought she might die. That was the day when I realized that even though I thought I had protected myself, I had somehow already fallen in love with her. 

The really hard stuff came later, when we were home and she cried all the time and I couldn't take her out in public. Those months were very long and lonely and I couldn't have gotten through them without lots of support. 

Quoting AspensMama1537:

What was your breaking point?

 

 

 

MelanieMans
by Member on Oct. 28, 2013 at 2:11 PM
I had preclampsia as well but I didn't have my son until I was 36 weeks. How did you handle all the stress?
KateHop
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 3:28 PM


Thank you so much, meam4444! One thing that I hope readers will take away from the book is the power in sharing our stories. I hope it will help other women write and talk about their stories--the beauty, but also the hard stuff. It's all important, and we feel so much less alone if we can share that with each other!

Quoting meam4444:

 I can't even imagine what you were going through esp. with her developing sepsis.  You are amazing for sharing your story, emotions, and heart with us all.  <3

Quoting KateHop:


I don't know if I'd say I had a breaking point. The hardest day in the NICU was when Stella developed sepsis and I thought she might die. That was the day when I realized that even though I thought I had protected myself, I had somehow already fallen in love with her. 

The really hard stuff came later, when we were home and she cried all the time and I couldn't take her out in public. Those months were very long and lonely and I couldn't have gotten through them without lots of support. 

Quoting AspensMama1537:

What was your breaking point?



 



KateHop
by on Oct. 28, 2013 at 3:29 PM


I'm so glad you made it to 36 weeks! It was stressful, but when we were going through it, we just put our heads down and dealt with it. I think that's how so many parents deal with the stress of hopsitalizations and other crisis moments. 

Quoting MelanieMans:

I had preclampsia as well but I didn't have my son until I was 36 weeks. How did you handle all the stress?



mama232011
by Bronze Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 2:13 PM
Lucky people called me selfish when my 2nd was in the hospital because he was my 2nd preemie :( said I should have known bettet

Quoting KateHop:


No, Azure. Luckily no one was foolish enough to do that! Moms already have so much guilt, and preemie mom's often feel extremely guilty that their bodies failed them. There are so may things that can cause prematurity. 


Quoting Azure:

Did other people blame you for your baby being early?




KateHop
by on Oct. 29, 2013 at 2:43 PM

That's ridiculous, mama232011!  And totally unhelpful and unsupportive. So often they don't know what the risks of having another preemie will be. I was given the range of between 5% - 85% chances of developing preeclampsia again. They really couldn't tell me. But we wanted another child. I'm grateful that my second daughter was full-term, but it could have easily not happened that way. I'm just sorry you had to live through the NICU twice!!


Quoting mama232011:

Lucky people called me selfish when my 2nd was in the hospital because he was my 2nd preemie :( said I should have known bettet

Quoting KateHop:


No, Azure. Luckily no one was foolish enough to do that! Moms already have so much guilt, and preemie mom's often feel extremely guilty that their bodies failed them. There are so may things that can cause prematurity. 


Quoting Azure:

Did other people blame you for your baby being early?






mama232011
by Bronze Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 2:51 PM
Actually I was lucky the first was only 6 weeks early so she was with me the whole 12 days... the second was 8 weeks and I do blame myself because I should have fought my doctor harder she wasn't listening to me and was no help I started laboring at 22 weeks and she said it was BH even when I started dialating at 24 weeks she still brushed me off gave me meds and sent me home

I'm planning on my third and have only negative comments "you have one of each... selfish... taking time away from the 2 I have" it really has me depressed and I'm not sure I'm going to tell anyone when I do get pregnant but I have a new doctor that sounds like a better fit so I'm hopeful for a full term baby


Quoting KateHop:

That's ridiculous, mama232011!  And totally unhelpful and unsupportive. So often they don't know what the risks of having another preemie will be. I was given the range of between 5% - 85% chances of developing preeclampsia again. They really couldn't tell me. But we wanted another child. I'm grateful that my second daughter was full-term, but it could have easily not happened that way. I'm just sorry you had to live through the NICU twice!!



Quoting mama232011:

Lucky people called me selfish when my 2nd was in the hospital because he was my 2nd preemie :( said I should have known bettet



Quoting KateHop:


No, Azure. Luckily no one was foolish enough to do that! Moms already have so much guilt, and preemie mom's often feel extremely guilty that their bodies failed them. There are so may things that can cause prematurity. 



Quoting Azure:

Did other people blame you for your baby being early?








KateHop
by on Oct. 29, 2013 at 4:34 PM


Yes, it sounds like a new doctor is key!! 

Wishing you the best of luck. I'll hope for a healthy full-term baby for you!

Quoting mama232011:

Actually I was lucky the first was only 6 weeks early so she was with me the whole 12 days... the second was 8 weeks and I do blame myself because I should have fought my doctor harder she wasn't listening to me and was no help I started laboring at 22 weeks and she said it was BH even when I started dialating at 24 weeks she still brushed me off gave me meds and sent me home

I'm planning on my third and have only negative comments "you have one of each... selfish... taking time away from the 2 I have" it really has me depressed and I'm not sure I'm going to tell anyone when I do get pregnant but I have a new doctor that sounds like a better fit so I'm hopeful for a full term baby


Quoting KateHop:

That's ridiculous, mama232011!  And totally unhelpful and unsupportive. So often they don't know what the risks of having another preemie will be. I was given the range of between 5% - 85% chances of developing preeclampsia again. They really couldn't tell me. But we wanted another child. I'm grateful that my second daughter was full-term, but it could have easily not happened that way. I'm just sorry you had to live through the NICU twice!!



Quoting mama232011:

Lucky people called me selfish when my 2nd was in the hospital because he was my 2nd preemie :( said I should have known bettet



Quoting KateHop:


No, Azure. Luckily no one was foolish enough to do that! Moms already have so much guilt, and preemie mom's often feel extremely guilty that their bodies failed them. There are so may things that can cause prematurity. 



Quoting Azure:

Did other people blame you for your baby being early?










mama232011
by Bronze Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 9:15 PM
Ty the first time labor started I thought she was right and she told me I would know when it was real... well the contractions only changed 2 hrs before she was born... the second time around I figured she would know that I knew my body but she didn't

Quoting KateHop:


Yes, it sounds like a new doctor is key!! 

Wishing you the best of luck. I'll hope for a healthy full-term baby for you!


Quoting mama232011:

Actually I was lucky the first was only 6 weeks early so she was with me the whole 12 days... the second was 8 weeks and I do blame myself because I should have fought my doctor harder she wasn't listening to me and was no help I started laboring at 22 weeks and she said it was BH even when I started dialating at 24 weeks she still brushed me off gave me meds and sent me home



I'm planning on my third and have only negative comments "you have one of each... selfish... taking time away from the 2 I have" it really has me depressed and I'm not sure I'm going to tell anyone when I do get pregnant but I have a new doctor that sounds like a better fit so I'm hopeful for a full term baby




Quoting KateHop:

That's ridiculous, mama232011!  And totally unhelpful and unsupportive. So often they don't know what the risks of having another preemie will be. I was given the range of between 5% - 85% chances of developing preeclampsia again. They really couldn't tell me. But we wanted another child. I'm grateful that my second daughter was full-term, but it could have easily not happened that way. I'm just sorry you had to live through the NICU twice!!




Quoting mama232011:

Lucky people called me selfish when my 2nd was in the hospital because he was my 2nd preemie :( said I should have known bettet





Quoting KateHop:


No, Azure. Luckily no one was foolish enough to do that! Moms already have so much guilt, and preemie mom's often feel extremely guilty that their bodies failed them. There are so may things that can cause prematurity. 




Quoting Azure:

Did other people blame you for your baby being early?













KateHop
by on Nov. 1, 2013 at 6:07 PM

Thanks so much to everyone who asked questions this week! I'll check back tomorrow to see if there were any last minute questions. 

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