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Do you think mothering comes naturally to a mom

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 2:34 AM
  • 18 Replies

I am about eight weeks along now in my pregnancy and I am feeling very uncertain. I am not so sure of my ability to care for a child. I have very little experience with babies. I did not even babysit that often.... At first I was excited about being pregnant but now I am just uncertain... Did being a good mother come natrually to you? Did you have help? Any advice would be apperciated...

by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 2:34 AM
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by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 2:44 AM
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Ill tell you right now, I never even held a new baby or even a baby that was younger than 9 months before I had my own! Never changed a diaper, fed a baby... nothing! It really did come naturally.

Its still really embarrassing and im really shamed to say that when my oldest was born I wasnt attached. He was foreign to me. I didnt know what to do and wanted to cry because I didn't want him. It wasnt until we were wheeled into our recovery room and he started to cry in the plastic bin they put babies in, I freaked out and that mothering instinct jumped in. I all of a sudden needed my son! I HAD to comfort him and for some crazy reason I knew how!! I cant explain it but being a mother just happened and it happened without even knowing how.
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 2:48 AM

biologically speaking, its supposed to. 

by Ruby Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 7:59 AM
It came natural for me
by Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 8:28 AM
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Sweetie just give it time and yes it will be like second nature to you.  Keep updates up on you okay

by Silver Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 8:33 AM
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I think it will/does! I have never cared for a newborn, and I felt a lot like you in the beginning, but the further along I get the more confident I become. :)
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 8:55 AM
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It came pretty naturally to me, but that did not mean that it was easy.  The basics, were what came naturally to mme. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I would be able to provide the basic care and keep my newborn alive. What was more difficult was raising a child. But I have a 3 year old, a 1 year old and am 21 weeks with my last one and I am just as nervous before each birth and just as excited after each birth. 

by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 9:02 AM
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I had NO experience with babies before my first was born. I could count on one hand the number of times I had held a baby, never changed a diaper. The only babysitting I had done for babies was my nephew, but he was always asleep when I got there and slept the whole time, so I was getting paid to watch movies :P But once she was here, it didn't seem to matter. I don't know if I was a good mother to her early on, but I definitely wasn't bad, and she survived me not knowing everything and having to get the hang of the whole mom thing :)

One thing I would recommend is spending some time reading about babies, what is normal, expected baby behavior and what is not, especially in the early days. I had a hard time adjusting to my daughter because what little I knew of babies did not match up with how she was. She was very high needs, not the quiet easy babies I had been around before, and it was bewildering to have a baby cry all the time and not sleep well on her own.

by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 9:45 AM
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It really does come naturally! I had never even held a baby before mine was born. I read all about pregnancy but somehow managed to forget to read about infant care. I figured it would just come to me. I fed baby from the tap whenever she seemed hungry, I changed her ever hour to two hours and otherwise when she needed it, I let her sleep when she needed to and didn't worry about schedules for about 8 months. I made sure she was warm but no too warm. I snuggled and kissed her so much that dh probably thought I would eat her up. It just comes to you.
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:00 AM
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I had zero experience with babies and wasn't a nurturing person at all, I was worried I would be a cold mother and that it would be awkward, I couldn't even hug family members without feeling weird.  I had no mother to ask questions of, no family to come help out, just me and my husband and we were both totally inexperienced.  I had a baby niece who I was terrified to hold, let alone be left in the same room with.

But, when I had my baby boy, something woke up inside of me.  It all just fell into place and I turned into a nurturing mother.  I know it's not PC to say, but I honestly feel sorry for people who decide not to have children because of this whole part of me that "woke up" when I had my son, knowing others choose not to experience that - especially knowing that they don't even know what "it" is - is really sad to me.  

by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:04 AM
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I didn't have ANY experience with babies (I'd never even held one) and I did not like being around children. It's totally different with my own. My husband and mother say I'm a complete natural at it and have all the patience in the world for her. 

I don't feel like a natural. I just feel like I'm learning every day and doing what she needs me to.

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