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Do you think mothering comes naturally to a mom

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 2:34 AM
  • 18 Replies

I am about eight weeks along now in my pregnancy and I am feeling very uncertain. I am not so sure of my ability to care for a child. I have very little experience with babies. I did not even babysit that often.... At first I was excited about being pregnant but now I am just uncertain... Did being a good mother come natrually to you? Did you have help? Any advice would be apperciated...

by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 2:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
msalice_21
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 2:44 AM
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Ill tell you right now, I never even held a new baby or even a baby that was younger than 9 months before I had my own! Never changed a diaper, fed a baby... nothing! It really did come naturally.

Its still really embarrassing and im really shamed to say that when my oldest was born I wasnt attached. He was foreign to me. I didnt know what to do and wanted to cry because I didn't want him. It wasnt until we were wheeled into our recovery room and he started to cry in the plastic bin they put babies in, I freaked out and that mothering instinct jumped in. I all of a sudden needed my son! I HAD to comfort him and for some crazy reason I knew how!! I cant explain it but being a mother just happened and it happened without even knowing how.
wolfybaby
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 2:48 AM

biologically speaking, its supposed to. 

Autumn19
by Ruby Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 7:59 AM
It came natural for me
kram0410
by Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 8:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Sweetie just give it time and yes it will be like second nature to you.  Keep updates up on you okay

JessiFaye
by Silver Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 8:33 AM
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I think it will/does! I have never cared for a newborn, and I felt a lot like you in the beginning, but the further along I get the more confident I become. :)
LalaWiley
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 8:55 AM
1 mom liked this

It came pretty naturally to me, but that did not mean that it was easy.  The basics, were what came naturally to mme. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I would be able to provide the basic care and keep my newborn alive. What was more difficult was raising a child. But I have a 3 year old, a 1 year old and am 21 weeks with my last one and I am just as nervous before each birth and just as excited after each birth. 

CelestialSong
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 9:02 AM
1 mom liked this

I had NO experience with babies before my first was born. I could count on one hand the number of times I had held a baby, never changed a diaper. The only babysitting I had done for babies was my nephew, but he was always asleep when I got there and slept the whole time, so I was getting paid to watch movies :P But once she was here, it didn't seem to matter. I don't know if I was a good mother to her early on, but I definitely wasn't bad, and she survived me not knowing everything and having to get the hang of the whole mom thing :)

One thing I would recommend is spending some time reading about babies, what is normal, expected baby behavior and what is not, especially in the early days. I had a hard time adjusting to my daughter because what little I knew of babies did not match up with how she was. She was very high needs, not the quiet easy babies I had been around before, and it was bewildering to have a baby cry all the time and not sleep well on her own.

norahsmommy
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 9:45 AM
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It really does come naturally! I had never even held a baby before mine was born. I read all about pregnancy but somehow managed to forget to read about infant care. I figured it would just come to me. I fed baby from the tap whenever she seemed hungry, I changed her ever hour to two hours and otherwise when she needed it, I let her sleep when she needed to and didn't worry about schedules for about 8 months. I made sure she was warm but no too warm. I snuggled and kissed her so much that dh probably thought I would eat her up. It just comes to you.
LLisaA
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:00 AM
1 mom liked this

I had zero experience with babies and wasn't a nurturing person at all, I was worried I would be a cold mother and that it would be awkward, I couldn't even hug family members without feeling weird.  I had no mother to ask questions of, no family to come help out, just me and my husband and we were both totally inexperienced.  I had a baby niece who I was terrified to hold, let alone be left in the same room with.

But, when I had my baby boy, something woke up inside of me.  It all just fell into place and I turned into a nurturing mother.  I know it's not PC to say, but I honestly feel sorry for people who decide not to have children because of this whole part of me that "woke up" when I had my son, knowing others choose not to experience that - especially knowing that they don't even know what "it" is - is really sad to me.  

SugarJunkie
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:04 AM
1 mom liked this

I didn't have ANY experience with babies (I'd never even held one) and I did not like being around children. It's totally different with my own. My husband and mother say I'm a complete natural at it and have all the patience in the world for her. 

I don't feel like a natural. I just feel like I'm learning every day and doing what she needs me to.

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