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Over reacting? Update

Posted by on Nov. 6, 2013 at 12:44 PM
  • 15 Replies
I'm 7 months preg, df quit smoking over a year ago aside from the once in a while social cig (which I myself am also guilty of pre preg) he quit, yesterday I found out he's back to smoking fully and tried to hide it. I slammed the door on him and went to bed I'm very pissed. We have a baby coming soon money is tight already and his health was bad when he smoked (breathing issues) , today is his bday and I refuse to even look at him . Am I over reacting?




Well he just got home didn't get to talk about the smoking although he smells like it, instead he tells me he got offered a job for modeling / porn , no I'm not joking or making any of this up
by on Nov. 6, 2013 at 12:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Devious103102
by Platinum Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 1:03 PM

The way I see it, if it's something he did when the 2 of you got together I don't see why it's such an issue that he's continuing to do it.  While the fact of him hiding it isn't a good thing and I'd talk to him about that (like hey, if you're going to smoke then just do it, don't hide it) but other than that I do think you're slightly over reacting. 

Heather2001
by Heather on Nov. 6, 2013 at 1:04 PM

Does he fully understand how much his actions upset you?  Sometimes an "over"reaction like that is necessary, IMO, to really get through to someone.  However, you guys do need to talk about it and he'll probably need your support to quit again. 

Also, don't carry the fight through his birthday.  I'm sure he knows by now that you're pissed and carrying it on is only beating a dead horse.  Now work on fixing it.

Supervane
by Bronze Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 1:05 PM
I don't think so at all. But I hate smoking and that's a habit I would never ever pick up
Lizzys_mommy13
by Bronze Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 1:07 PM

While I would be upset that he was trying to hide it, I would say that is a bit of an over reaction. You need to sit down with him and calmly explain how this is making you feel. Discuss options to help him quit. 

rwcw89
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 1:18 PM
Because his theory is I shouldn't smoke ( even when not preg he said it was gross and broke my last pack) but now he's doing this after everything we went through to quit, that's what pisses me off

Quoting Devious103102:

The way I see it, if it's something he did when the 2 of you got together I don't see why it's such an issue that he's continuing to do it.  While the fact of him hiding it isn't a good thing and I'd talk to him about that (like hey, if you're going to smoke then just do it, don't hide it) but other than that I do think you're slightly over reacting. 

Larsbug
by Laura on Nov. 6, 2013 at 1:23 PM

have you asked him why?

rwcw89
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 1:28 PM
He gave me a I don't know when I asked

Quoting Larsbug:

have you asked him why?

Devious103102
by Platinum Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 1:29 PM

So rather than ignoring him and stomping around TELL him that. He's not allowed to be a hypocrite, that's not fair. You're a grown woman and if you want to smoke that's your business, but same for him. 

Quoting rwcw89:

Because his theory is I shouldn't smoke ( even when not preg he said it was gross and broke my last pack) but now he's doing this after everything we went through to quit, that's what pisses me off

Quoting Devious103102:

The way I see it, if it's something he did when the 2 of you got together I don't see why it's such an issue that he's continuing to do it.  While the fact of him hiding it isn't a good thing and I'd talk to him about that (like hey, if you're going to smoke then just do it, don't hide it) but other than that I do think you're slightly over reacting. 


Larsbug
by Laura on Nov. 6, 2013 at 1:35 PM

which tells me something is bothering him and he doesn't feel he can talk to you about it (at least that's my experience when my husband says "I don't know")...tell him how much it bothers you and how proud you would be of him if he stopped again. Some people need encouragement to do something, not discouragement. I get where you are coming from though. I would be mad too.

Quoting rwcw89:

He gave me a I don't know when I asked

Quoting Larsbug:

have you asked him why?


Luvmy2babies22
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 1:42 PM

 Ugh, Im on the fence here because I am an ex-smoker and my hubby never smoked.  I'm not sure how I would react in your situation because I would feel like a hypocrite.  However, the fact that he was hiding it is certainly grounds for being pissed off.

I think this is something that you need to calmly discuss and negotiate.

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