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My Story of hope warning a little graffic maybe *tmi*

Posted by on Nov. 7, 2013 at 11:24 AM
  • 1 Replies

My name is Misty and I am 28 years old. Since I was a small girl I have loved children.  I always wanted to have the dream ya know white fence, loving husband and two perfect children. Well, my story was anything but perfect but to me I wouldnt have it any other way.

I met Matt in April of 07 just a few days after he had returned home from Iraq (Marine). Matt in my eyes was just perfect even though everyone warned me to stay away. From th moment of our first kiss I knew he was the man I would spend the rest of my life with. After knowing eachother for 2 days we began dating and after 6 days we moved in together. It was soon that I realized that something wasnt quite right with Matt but I stayed by him. He lived in a hotel because he was on active duty and was going to be out in December.I spent countless nights dragging him out bars, playing second to well pretty much everyone, Matt was also abusing prescription pills. His one love when he was actually happy was when he was on his crotch rocket. In mid June I found out we were expecting.

Two days after Matt and I had broken up.  I was so scared. Matt left. He said he didnt believe I was pregnant and thought it was a desperate attempt to get him back (jerk) . Matt still continued to call me everyday. And text everyday. He tell everyone he didnt love me, had nothing for me, but still wouldnt let me go. One early July morning I started cramping really bad. I went to the dr the next morning and everything was fine I brought the paperwork and ultrasound with me finally Matt had proof I was pregnant. He cried he wasnt ready to be a dad and left and went to his neew gf's house. The next day the cramps returned this time with blood, I called matt and he took me to the hospital. Our baby was gone.  We were never given a reason just told our baby was gone we could try again a couple months. On the way home I told that from that night on I wanted no contact with him. I wanted him to go his way and I would go mine.  I wanted the head games to stop!! I wanted to move on and I couldnt with him in my life. He refused and said I was his best friend and he wouldnt lose me. After a while of trying to convince him to say goodbye and his adament refusal I told him if couldnt then I would. And I did. I blocked him from my cell, deleted him from my social networks, changed my email, instructed everyone around me that if he called (we had several mutual friends)  to not let him know I was there.

September rolled around and I was laying on my sister in laws (one of my 2 best friends)  couch and I had this sickening feeling that something was wrong. My heart was breaking and I knew something was wrong with Matt. She said I just wanted a way to contact him and I assured her I didnt but I knew something was wrong. The next day she vowed she would check on him if I agreed that I wouldnt attempt to contact him. And I did. I just wanted to make sure he was ok but I didnt want to go through everything again. It turns out he was jumped in a bar by a group of men and was beaten up pretty bad. they took his wallet, cell, etc. A couple days later I was at my other best friends house and he called (she and he had been friends since they were 2) wanting to comeover and talk apparently his new girlfriend had dumped him. Without hesitation she told him to come over. Mind you he kinda woke her up out of dead sleep and she took ambien so she wasnt thinking clearly. I said who was that and she was like crap and tried to call him back but no luck his phone had died. He showed up looking like a bruised up, whipped pup and EXPECTED ME TO HAVE SYMPATHY. I told him all I had to say was what goes around comes around and I left. (I couldnt find my keys earlier) The next day the phone rings at my sister in laws and they didnt have cid I answered it it was Matt. He wanted me to come see his new apt he had moved literally 2 miles away from me. I agreed but under the condition it was no more then a social call and the first time he put any moves on me I was gone for good.

For several weeks we were good. Nothing more then friends. It was great. we hung out, played cards, play station, etc and I would almost always go home some nights I would stay and we would even sleep in the same bed and still he kept his word. One evening we were goofing off and it was getting a little more flirty then I liked so I walked over and sit on the counter (they had one couch and it was occupied by his roomate, his wife and some of their friends). He followed me and stood between my legs facing me and began tickling my ribs and I was like stop it jerk, of course he didnt. He then came up from being doubled over laughing and said, " My God, I love you!' Feeling very akward and uncomfortable I hopped down and was getting my shoes on to leave. Ironically it was at the same time his roomate and everyone had just walked out to go to the video store and he was going with them. As I was walking out the door he grabbed my arm, pinned me against the wall and kissed me. Yeah he never made it to the video store.

At the very end of October again we were expecting AGAIN!!! At this point I needed something solid not just being a friend withbenefits or whatever. I gave him an ultimatum me as we or no me. It was not fair to me, our kid on the way, or anyone involved really to just be as we were. He chose us. I spent the remainder of my pregnancy in and out of the hospital with hyperpermesis gravidarium and when I was out I was being treated like crap by him. But I stayed anyway because I was stupid, i didnt have anywhere else to go, and I was carrying his kid. Half the time he doubted the baby was his, a quarter he was drunk and treating me like crap or just treating me like crap in general, but there was that quarter where he was there and made sure I was taken care of. In January I got my own place ( I had been working as a waitress but got a better paying job as a nanny and was able to afford a low income apt) Things were really looking up. Matt even got maternity pics made with me one of the quarter times. Well as the end of my pregnancy neared, he had been progressingly treating me better. He began spending less time with his friends and at his apt and more time with me in mine.

Our beautiful boy was born June 17th 2008 , Jaxson Shane. We eventually moved from my apt into a trailor. It was nice and it was ours well we rented but it was home. We loved it there. When our boy was five months old we bacame pregnant with a second son Tristan Levi 8-24-09. I was sure our baby days were over but As Tristans first Birthday neared my hear still longed for a little girl. Idk why really I was totally in love with my boys but I wanted a girl so 19 days before Tristans birthday we were thrilled to find out we were expecting. On Feb. 9, 2011 we welcomed our little princess Briley Katherine.

In Dec of 2012 we decided together that he would get a vasectomy. Until his consult (In February 2013) we would use condoms. The first one we used broke as did the second. I got pregnant. I was dues Sept 20. In January I was diagnosed with a sch (subchorionic hemmorage) and placed on bed rest. I hadnt bled other then spotted when I was diagnosed. The baby always had a great strong heartbeat. April 29th at nearly 20 weeks (2 days shy in fact) I wasnt feeling too well and stayed up a lil later then anyone else. I went to bed around 11 and and 11:30 I woke my husband up. Something was wrong.

I was in so much pain. My husband though it was gas or my usual cramps (I had them my whole pregnancy) he got up with me had me sit on the couch and got me some gas x and tylenol. I took them but told him something was wrong. He then called my ob. I got up to go to the restroom while he was on the phone with my ob and as I sat down I began hemmoraging. My Ob told him to get off the phone and call 911 because I would likely bleed to death before he could get me to the hospital (it was 45 minutes away). As we were waiting on the ambulance I delived my son. He was still incompassed in his amniotic sack and the placenta was still attatched. I had a complete placental abruption. I place him and everything else in a towel put a pad on and stumbled into the living room. ( was going into shock as I was bleeding through a pad a minute). When the ambulance got there all I really remember is them putting my baby in a re biohazard trash bag. When we got to the hospital everything is a bit fuzzy but I know they removed remaining particals and did an ultrasound.

They gave me pain meds and imediately I felt like something wasnt right and my tounge felt funny the nurse asked me what was wrong and i told her. She asked if I was still in pain and I said yes so she gave me another shot in my iv. i woke up 3 hours later on the mother-baby unit to my mom calling the nurse and being inable to really open my eyes. I told my mom I couldnt move my right side and it hurt to breath. About the same time the nurse got in there so did my ob. He went off. Wondering why no one listened to me, why no one had checked on me etc. I was weezing really bad and recieved steroids and benadryl in my iv and ws taken down to ct. They thought  I was having a stroke and then placed in icu. I started improving and was able to see my son. An amazing nurse went downstairs, got my baby, bathed him, dressed him and brough him to me. He was so tiny and perfect. Cameron Andrew had been still born the mornign of April 30th 2013. He was so beautiful. I didnt have pictures made because I thought it would be too hard to look at every day. I regret this decision now. But I did get his feet print and a memory box with his tiny hospital gown and things in it. I ws relesed on thursday and my friend from high school who works at a flower shop made him a beautiful spray and brought it up that evening, along with toys for my kids, groceries, and everything (a true friend indeed).  

Camerons funeral was On that friday the 3rd. My husband and I decided we would try to concieve again when we were ready even though Cameron wasnt planned he awakened a yearing in our hearts for another baby. Our baby. We were cleared to try again at the beginging of June but waited until the end of July. We concieved right away, at 10 weeks I began to hemmorage BAD. I was sure I was having a m/c I went to the hospital. Baby was fine. I had another  sch. I was again placed on pelvic and bedrest. My husband purchased a fetal doppler so we could check on our baby whenever we wanted. On Monday, November 4, 2013 I began cramping again. I called my ob who brought me in first thing Tuesday to check for an incompetent cervix and to check the sch and of course to check on the baby. No incompetent cervix!! The sch had resloved itsself!!! And It's a Girl!! And she is perfect! I am 17 weeks now and everything is looking up for us and our little lady.. and our little family as well

by on Nov. 7, 2013 at 11:24 AM
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by on Nov. 7, 2013 at 11:45 AM
1 mom liked this

Wow what a story. Sorry about your lost but, I am so happy for you that you are now expecting again. I hope all continue to go well with you and the little princess. 

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