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Pregnancy Pregnancy

She had an abortion, and then tried again RIGHT away... **ETA included

Posted by on Jan. 6, 2014 at 1:22 AM
  • 33 Replies
1 mom liked this

 My boyfriends sister got pregnant last year.  She made a decision to get an abortion. Im pro choice so that isnt what bothered me at all..  Shortly after we found out that I was pregnant.  Then she decided she wanted a baby after all.. so they started trying to get pregnant again.  I am now 30 weeks along.  Yesterday we found out she is now pregnant.  
A little further back story..  She was a heroine user and to my knowledge is still taking suboxone to make sure she doesnt use.  Its because of her drug history that she does not have custody of the daughter she already had.  
This part might be a bit petty but it adds to why Im upset. This is my boyfriend and I's first baby..   &Even besides all these other reasons to be irritated with her Im also irritated that she couldnt maybe hold off on trying until after we had our baby.  I know its not right but I wanted my baby to get some spotlight attention at least for a little while, but now he'll only get to be the baby of the family for a couple months.


Im not expecting any specific response from you all, I just needed to share with someone.


ETA;  After reading the responses, I just want to make it clear that I know the spotlight thing is silly.  Thats why I said it was a bit petty!  You cant all try to tell me you've never had nagging feelings in the back of your head about petty things that bother you no matter how silly they may be.  
Im far more upset about her use of suboxone through pregnancy.   Not taking care of the kid she already has.  and MOST of all her decision to get an abortion in  the first place.  I fully support anyone that chooses abortion, but I think it is definately wrong for her to have terminated one pregnancy just to right away decide to get pregnant.  Abortion should be seen as a more permanent solution, not something to have just for the sake of having one..  I feel like she must not have thoughht out the decision thoroughly enough if she changed her mind right away afterwards.
&Lastly it does really seem like she decided to get pregnant as sort of a jealous thing because I got pregnant.  
To me it just seemslike her timing is really poor, and her decision making skills obviously not quite in order.  

Lilypie Maternity tickers

by on Jan. 6, 2014 at 1:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Pandapanda
by Cafe Panda on Jan. 6, 2014 at 1:25 AM
This seems to be so common. It's usually a control issue. Relax and enjoy your pregnancy, that's all you can do.
turnergrace
by on Jan. 6, 2014 at 1:29 AM

hugs

definecorrupt
by Member on Jan. 6, 2014 at 1:29 AM

Like using the baby for personal gain or something?  His other sisters daughter is 4, and I notice them almost using the poor kid like a pawn.  If they get in a fight they use "Oh you cant hang out with my daughter!" as a control thing.  Im so not used to being in a family with so many siblings, especially not a family with so many dramatic women.

Quoting Pandapanda: This seems to be so common. It's usually a control issue. Relax and enjoy your pregnancy, that's all you can do.


Lilypie Maternity tickers

markswife03
by Bronze Member on Jan. 6, 2014 at 2:32 AM
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It's silly to expect family to plan their pregnancies around you. And their problems are theirs. It doesn't have to concern you.
SimplyEnchanted
by Bronze Member on Jan. 6, 2014 at 2:49 AM
Agreed. Maybe she regrets her abortion and wishes to fill that void? If she is still abusing then I do think it is poor timing to ttc though

Quoting markswife03: It's silly to expect family to plan their pregnancies around you. And their problems are theirs. It doesn't have to concern you.
Johlsh
by on Jan. 6, 2014 at 3:08 AM
My father's girlfriends daughter did this twice!! We do not care for eachother, never have. I fell pregnant with my son in 2011 and shortly after she found out through a family member I was expecting I heard rumors she was ttc. Well about 5 months later she did. Fast forward to now I waited awhile to announce this pregnancy. She found out when I was about 13 weeks, I told her and her response was I may be too, missed my period. Turned out she wasnt, but 2. 5 months later she posted on fb she was 5 weeks pregnant.. I swear she does it intentially.
Baby3thinkpink
by Bronze Member on Jan. 6, 2014 at 7:43 AM
2 moms liked this
I have a close friend who chose abortion. After, she was incredibly depressed and regretted it. A year later she decided to have another and is pregnant now with another one. She's now a strong advocate for women to research more and make less hasty decisions.

And I understand wanting to be the only pendant person. But, that won't take away your daughters spotlight. She'll be born before your sister in law even is showing. :)

Feel better!

Quoting SimplyEnchanted: Agreed. Maybe she regrets her abortion and wishes to fill that void? If she is still abusing then I do think it is poor timing to ttc though



Quoting markswife03: It's silly to expect family to plan their pregnancies around you. And their problems are theirs. It doesn't have to concern you.
LoveMyBug2013
by Bronze Member on Jan. 6, 2014 at 7:52 AM
1 mom liked this

My brother and sister-in-law got pregnant (their third)  while I was expecting (my first) and at first I was hurt/upset and wished they had waited until we had ours before getting pregnant.  I did get over it, although I definitely feel less close to this nephew than I did to the middle one. 

On the other hand, our boys are 5 months apart and will probably be very close growing up.

Your situation is totally different because you are talking about someone who should not have been trying to get pregnant in her current situation.  And it sucks because she will take the attention away from you--because she's an unfit mother.

Just love and protect your child--congratulations!

sburger315
by on Jan. 6, 2014 at 7:55 AM
1 mom liked this

I know how that is! I'm an only child, DH has 5 other siblings (3 sisters, 2 brothers)...his sisters and mother are drama filled. I can't stand it.

Quoting definecorrupt:

Like using the baby for personal gain or something?  His other sisters daughter is 4, and I notice them almost using the poor kid like a pawn.  If they get in a fight they use "Oh you cant hang out with my daughter!" as a control thing.  Im so not used to being in a family with so many siblings, especially not a family with so many dramatic women.



Luke 3/15/11    Maddie 4/29/12    Identical Twin Girls Due 5/29/14

esox
by Silver Member on Jan. 6, 2014 at 8:00 AM
Maybe she knew the baby was not her boyfriends?
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