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would you find this offensive? *baby name issue*

Posted by on Jan. 14, 2014 at 2:39 PM
  • 36 Replies

DH's uncle died a few years ago in a trucker accident, long story short he burned to death. DH was really close with his uncle and his uncle only has one living child a girl. His family has always named the first born son after the dad which we did with DS, but we were thinking if we ever had another boy to honor his uncle. 

Over the years his parents have helped us and have been fantastic to our kids. So we figured honor the uncle and grandpa... Well now we are pregnant again and we have been discussing names (we dont know the gender yet).

DH's has another uncle tho... the 3rd brother who has also been a fantastic person in our lives. DH mentioned last time that it may be offensive to his one uncle if we honor the other two and not him. 


We have been stuck on girl name ideas for a while because i want to honor my grandmother by using her middle name and while hes ok with that we have yet to come to an idea for a first name. And i was so set on what we had picked for a boy and now i agree it may be offensive and cause some issues in the family which we dont want. 

in love2007 toddler boy 2008   baby girl2012 expecting baby 2014

by on Jan. 14, 2014 at 2:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lilmama8408
by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 3:15 PM
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Serabeth06
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 3:18 PM

I don't know. I avoided family names with my first kiddos, and now with this pregnancy SO is kind'f pressuring me to use his name and his grandpas, which, I don't want to do. So, I'm in a similar boat myself. Is it offensive to not want to use the names. :/ Hope you guys work it out. Maybe talk to the uncle and see how he feels about it?

LaDulceVida
by on Jan. 14, 2014 at 3:19 PM

No, he isn't dead so he shouldn't find it offensive...and it's your child, your decision and whatever you choose he will have to deal/live with it.

iamnameless
by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 3:21 PM
I dont think it should offered anyone. Its different to honor a died family member than a live one to me and to honor grandpa is totally acceptable. I would stick with the original plan. Or you could do two middle names.

Whats the middle name you have for a girl?
Larsbug
by Laura on Jan. 14, 2014 at 3:24 PM

can't you use both uncles names?  DS1 has FIL's middle name as his middle name and DS2 has DH's closest uncle as his middle name...DH has a lot of uncles but isn't close enough with them to feel as though we need to honor them all. Next baby, boy or girl will honor my family.

lilmama8408
by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 3:27 PM

My family commonly does family names for boys too but i dont speak with my family. I had no issue naming DS after DH and had no issue with our original name plan but now i worry about the other uncle being left out. Im sure we are done after #3 

Quoting Serabeth06:

I don't know. I avoided family names with my first kiddos, and now with this pregnancy SO is kind'f pressuring me to use his name and his grandpas, which, I don't want to do. So, I'm in a similar boat myself. Is it offensive to not want to use the names. :/ Hope you guys work it out. Maybe talk to the uncle and see how he feels about it?


in love2007 toddler boy 2008   baby girl2012 expecting baby 2014

lilmama8408
by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 3:29 PM

We both feel doing two middle names is to much. Ive never been a fan of it to start with but our last name is 9 letters long and the names we have are 7 letters each so adding a "4th" name to the mix is just to much.


Fern im sold but i need to work on dh lol

Quoting iamnameless: I dont think it should offered anyone. Its different to honor a died family member than a live one to me and to honor grandpa is totally acceptable. I would stick with the original plan. Or you could do two middle names.

Whats the middle name you have for a girl?


in love2007 toddler boy 2008   baby girl2012 expecting baby 2014

LNLMommy
by on Jan. 14, 2014 at 3:30 PM

 If you can't combine the names why not just skip it altogether so no one is offended? Honestly, I wouldn't think the living uncle would be offended by it though.

lilmama8408
by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 3:30 PM

DH was the second son born so he has his own first middle names with no family names. We named DS 100% after him.

We cant really do both uncles and grandpa for one baby because the names would be to long. And they dont flow well together. We are also fairly sure we are done after this baby

Quoting Larsbug:

can't you use both uncles names?  DS1 has FIL's middle name as his middle name and DS2 has DH's closest uncle as his middle name...DH has a lot of uncles but isn't close enough with them to feel as though we need to honor them all. Next baby, boy or girl will honor my family.


in love2007 toddler boy 2008   baby girl2012 expecting baby 2014

Larsbug
by Laura on Jan. 14, 2014 at 3:32 PM

yep, I agree

Quoting LNLMommy:

 If you can't combine the names why not just skip it altogether so no one is offended? Honestly, I wouldn't think the living uncle would be offended by it though.


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