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confused.

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 12:29 PM
  • 19 Replies

Hey, I'm not sure how this works but i feel like i need some advice from outsiders. I'm currently 19 years old going to university and i recently found out i was pregnant. My boyfriend and friends say it's a bad idea to keep the baby, but I'm not sure if i can go through with a abortion, any advice is helpful, did anyone else have a difficult time deciding on what to do? I'm stressed out. 

by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 12:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SECL
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 12:38 PM
1 mom liked this

Well sweety, I absolutely do not believe in abortion.  If it's something you don't want and aren't comfortable with do not let anyone talk you into it.  You could always give the baby up for adoption.  Or you could keep the baby.  I was married at 19 and had my first baby at 22.  I know I was young, but it was the best thing that ever happened to me.  I would really urge you to look into adoption if you really do not want the baby ♥

AustinsMommy007
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 12:43 PM
First of all unless you are 100% sure you want to have an abortion don't do it. Ultimately it is your choice however if you are doubting that decision there is a good chance you could end up hurting and regretting that decision the rest of your life.

There are other options you can give the baby up for adoption, maybe an open adoption so you can still be some what involves or keep the baby.

I was pregnant at 19 and had my son at 20 he's now 6. While it wasn't easy it was doable and I wouldn't trade having him for anything in this world. There is help and support groups out there if you need them. If you choose to keep your baby know you can do it :)

Good luck and think on it a while don't make a quick decision.
bamamommy2009
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 12:45 PM

 Hello there. I was 19 and in the army when I found out I was expecting my first child. I was scared, and unsure if the dad would even stick around but abortion and adoption is just not something I was comfortable with. I went to my srgt confused and she gave me the best addvice- "if you are uncomfortable with the choices, chances are they are not right for you." With that I kept the baby. I lost her dad from time to time- i.e he's a weekend every no and then paycheck kinda of "dad"- but I love that little girl more than I had ever known was possible. I am not gonna lie there were times when things were tough for us. I didn't know how I was gonan take care of her but we always pulled through, she was my driving force. She is now 4 years old, has a brother who is 2, and soon another sibling. I met a wonderful man who is now my husband,my son's father and  he fathers my daughter as his own. I am glad in the choice that I made and there is no doubt those words of wisdom influenced me. My advice to you is the same she gave me " If the choices before you make you uncomfortable, then chances are they are not for you." if ever you would like to chat please feel free to message me. Good luck and congrates

srm8824
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 12:45 PM

Yeah, I decided to keep my son when I was 18-years-old.

It was the best choice for me but just because it was doesn't mean that's the best choice for you.

Weigh your options, figure out what you feel is right and do-able. It's your life, you have to live with whatever you decide. Don't do anything because you are pressured. Just do what feels right to you.

Have you talked to your parents?


missbritt22
by Brittany on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:03 PM
I got preggo my first year in college when I was 18. Had my son when I was 19 and I have never regretted keeping him! He is 6 now and is so smart! He was just excepted into the GT program at his school, he just amazes me! If you have the slightest doubt about getting an abortion, DON'T DO IT!!! In the long run you will regret it!!! Hang in there, you can do this!!!
Devious103102
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:32 PM

If you don't think you can live with an abortion then don't do it.  There are lots of women who are/have been in your position and come out just fine. 

BrittaniaW
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:48 PM

Thinking about being a mother scares me, but what bamamommy2009 quoted really is driving me to believe that abortion maybe isnt right, i dont think i would be able to do that to a tiny life. When it comes to adoption, it crossed my mind, i have a lot to think about. I'm happy to hear that there are other young moms out there who are happy and doing well. I currently live on my own already, i havent even told my parents yet, im nervous to hear there reaction or if they won't be supportive. I'm also nervous about schooling, if it is doable to go to school and have a baby, i have 2 years left in my program.


BrittaniaW
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:51 PM

Thank-you everybody for your responses! It's really helpful to get some insight. 

meam4444
by Emerald Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 1:57 PM

 (hugs) to you!  Just know there are other options like adoption if you don't feel like you can raise this child.  I have a few friend who adopted, and it has been such a blessing to them.  They also keep the birthmom involved with the children's life.  If you choose to raise the child on your own, just know you can do this, and when there is a will there is a way.

Wishing you all the best!

meam4444
by Emerald Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 2:03 PM

 I just saw this reply after I replied to your post.  Just know, there are many moms who go to school.  I had a semester left when I was pregnant with my first in a very difficult program (engineering).  But, it all worked out.  I would highly suggest looking into a pregnancy care center in your area.  They will be able to assist you in directing you towards programs which can help you out and also give you support.  The one center in my area has a store which moms and moms-to-be can earn points to use in the baby store for baby items, gear and clothes.  Keep your chin up hun.  And, know, you can come to this group anytime you have any questions or need support too.

Quoting BrittaniaW:

Thinking about being a mother scares me, but what bamamommy2009 quoted really is driving me to believe that abortion maybe isnt right, i dont think i would be able to do that to a tiny life. When it comes to adoption, it crossed my mind, i have a lot to think about. I'm happy to hear that there are other young moms out there who are happy and doing well. I currently live on my own already, i havent even told my parents yet, im nervous to hear there reaction or if they won't be supportive. I'm also nervous about schooling, if it is doable to go to school and have a baby, i have 2 years left in my program.

 

 

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