There are those who believe you should get to name your baby whatever you want. And then there are those who make laws against it. And I'm squarely behind those lawmakers. Throw the asses in jail who dare to name theirdefenseless children things like Facebook and Rambo. Yes, a Mexican state just banned those two names, along with 59 others. As someone whose mother tried to name her "Kama Sutra," I stand firmly behind all babies whose crazy parents want to saddle them with a ridiculous moniker sure to elicit snorts from playmates and resumes that are quietly slipped to the back of the pile.

Listen, I don't care that you were the one who gestated this human being for nine months in your womb. The child didn't ask for it. And we all know that having a baby doesn't mean you're suddenly a kick ass parent. There are plenty who are truly horrific, and many more who are simply negligent, and even more who are just annoying.

Your kids shouldn't have to suffer every day, many times a day, for your deluded notion thatFacebook somehow makes an awesome name. Life is hard enough without trying to overcome that albatross.

Not that everyone has to be named Catherine or Jason, but c'mon! Use some common sense. Problem? Giving birth does not necessarily mean you have common sense. So others with it must step in and save your child from yourself.

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As for my own story, family lore has it that my mom wanted to name me Kama Sutra, after the famous Indian sex positions book. Was my mother under the effects of some kind of drug after she pushed me out of her loins and chose this name? I have no idea. I just thank the nurses who supposedly said "no" and took me out of the room until she came up with something slightly more suitable. And I ended up with a weird one anyway.

If there needs to be a law, then so be it. A little time in the clink makes Catherine and Jason look pretty good.

Do you think there should be a law against stupid names?

 

Image via JoeShlabotnik/Flickr