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Pregnancy Pregnancy

10 Funniest Things Said During Labor- do you have any to add to the list?

Posted by on Mar. 6, 2014 at 9:22 AM
  • 30 Replies

10 Funniest Things Said During Labor

Posted by Suzanne Murray  

pregnant bellyBy the 9th month of pregnancy most women are over the "I'm pregnant!" bliss phase and are trying everything they can to just get that baby out of there. They jump up and down, have sex, stuff themselves with pineapple, force some cod liver oil down -- anything they can to start labor.

But once labor actually starts, many of us start wishing we could keep the baby in. Whether it's out of fear or pain, delerium or ecstasy, sometimes the craziest things come out of our mouths as our precious baby enters into the world.

Here are some of the funniest things women have admitted to saying during labor and delivery ...

Her Feet Are Huge!

"When my daughter first came out, I was crying like a baby because I was so happy she was here. But the first thing I saw were her feet, LOL. Happiest day, moment of my life."

I Can See My Coochie Again

"While I was pushing and my son was coming out, they put a mirror down there so I could see. The first thing I said was, 'Damn, that's a big head.' After he came out, I made the above announcement."

Give Me a Beer

"My labor went very quick. The first thing I said was, 'Give me a Coors light, please." Later that night, my daughter's godmother snuck me in a sippy cup of wine. It tasted good, but after six hours of hard labor, it hit me like a ton of bricks."

Keep Her In There!

"While I was pushing, I got so exhausted and was crying because my boyfriend was deployed and I wanted him here. I wanted to delay things till he got home, but I didn't know what I was thinking. As soon as she was born and they laid her on me to clean her off, I noticed that she looked exactly like my boyfriend. After all that pining I said, 'Gee, I can't believe she looks nothing like me!' "

Can Someone Shut That Woman Up?!

"I yelled this at my doctor after getting very annoyed at the woman across the hall, who was also in labor screaming and hollering."

Am I Open?

"I was having a C-section. The doctor laughed and said, yes, and my husband lost all the color in his face and just nodded."

You're Gonna Clean That Up, Right?

"I had to go to the bathroom, so the nurse took me. My water was still leaking, and it dripped on the floor. I asked her, 'What if someone steps in it?' "

That's Not Balls! ...

" ... that's a vagina! What the hell are we going to name her?!' Said when I discovered that my boy turned out to be a girl."

Reach In There and Grab Him!

"This is what I told the doctor after 20 hours of labor and three hours of active pushing. I had just asked my doula for an epidural, who said I couldn't have one."

F*** Jessica Alba

"When the contractions started coming fast and hard, I screamed this because I'd remembered reading an article about Jessica Alba, who claimed she was completely silent during childbirth. Yeah, right."

by on Mar. 6, 2014 at 9:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jlgray1988
by Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 9:51 AM
Hahahaha! Those are great! I didn't say anything but my sister was in the room...holding a leg and as soon as my son came out she said, "Oh look at him! He's so cute with that big cone he added!" Omg I laughed and blood squirted all over the Dr.! Haha
kcangel63
by Gold Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 10:09 AM
My friend was photographing our first home birth. When baby was crowning she said, "WOW! It's so elastic!" It cracked me up. LOL

During our first UC my hubby broke my water (after 20 hours of hard labor) with me bent over the birthing stool. All he said was noises like "Uhhh... Gah... Gag..." and my oldest dd (who was helping me) starting laughing. Dh got fire hosed in the face with amniotic fluid. It was a mood lightener for sure. I just wished I could have seen it.
Baby girl was born very shortly after. :)
Pandapanda
by Cafe Panda on Mar. 6, 2014 at 10:55 AM
Lol, thanks for sharing
zandizane
by Bronze Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 11:48 AM
Lol while pushing with my first child, dh said "push harder I see his head". To which I replied "You try pushing a baby out of your pee hole!!" The dr and nurses all started laughing but I didn't think it was funny.
RADmomma
by Bronze Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 12:06 PM
I was exhausted while in labor with my second. I dozed off for a second & woke up in a panic... Yelling for my husband because I had forgotten to take something out for dinner. Everyone laughed & said it was ok since they were pretty sure the hospital would feed me anyways!

Even the dr heard... Then she reminded me while I was pushing... Causing me to laugh... .
LNLMommy
by on Mar. 6, 2014 at 12:10 PM
1 mom liked this

I started screaming "I can't do this! I can't do this" during my last labor. I also said "Who's bright idea was it to go all natural"

kmqw229
by Ruby Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 12:38 PM
Funny!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kmqw229
by Ruby Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 12:38 PM
Oh my!

Quoting kcangel63: My friend was photographing our first home birth. When baby was crowning she said, "WOW! It's so elastic!" It cracked me up. LOL

During our first UC my hubby broke my water (after 20 hours of hard labor) with me bent over the birthing stool. All he said was noises like "Uhhh... Gah... Gag..." and my oldest dd (who was helping me) starting laughing. Dh got fire hosed in the face with amniotic fluid. It was a mood lightener for sure. I just wished I could have seen it.
Baby girl was born very shortly after. :)
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Decemberlov
by Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 1:34 PM
I was in labor for 14 hrs with dd 1 with horrific back labor. I begged them to make it stop and promised to come back tomorrow instead lol
Decemberlov
by Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 1:35 PM
1 mom liked this
that's hilarious! you just made me laugh out loud.

Quoting RADmomma: I was exhausted while in labor with my second. I dozed off for a second & woke up in a panic... Yelling for my husband because I had forgotten to take something out for dinner. Everyone laughed & said it was ok since they were pretty sure the hospital would feed me anyways!

Even the dr heard... Then she reminded me while I was pushing... Causing me to laugh... .
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