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Pregnancy Pregnancy

pregnant and wants to marry me

Posted by on Apr. 7, 2014 at 1:18 AM
  • 28 Replies

Pregnant and he wants to marry me I want to wait but he doesnt he wants to befor the bby is here which is in july this summer ... so far hes been out of wrk for two weeks and thinking about how to provide for us not to mention he has a two yr old frm previous and hes thinking about  joining military would be best he says ..idk if I can handle tht agian.. and he saw a recruiter and was told to give up his rights to his previous daughter or marry me !? We been having bumps here n there so I havnt been feeling fully happy so how could I say yes!! ? If I did would be only bc I love him and well midas well just go for it type of thing. Im not excited about it but I do want him and to stay with him he Is the father of my un born child and says he wants to be with me and thinks we should go get married. . Im a lil more traditional sorta..lol dont I get a proposal? Guess. Not but anyway i dnt know how I really feel about this. 

by on Apr. 7, 2014 at 1:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Pandapanda
by Cafe Panda on Apr. 7, 2014 at 1:24 AM
15 moms liked this
A recruiter would never suggest terminating parental rights of a child from a former relationship. If anything, they would be on him about providing the support he's responsible for.

Don't marry a man who 1) is unemployed 2) treats it as a rash decision, and 3rd: if you are not head over heels in love and fully ready and committed to the needs of marriage... Dont get married!
tameejean
by Member on Apr. 7, 2014 at 2:39 AM
1 mom liked this
Aside from all of this, if you are questioning it, you shouldn't do it.

Quoting Pandapanda: A recruiter would never suggest terminating parental rights of a child from a former relationship. If anything, they would be on him about providing the support he's responsible for.

Don't marry a man who 1) is unemployed 2) treats it as a rash decision, and 3rd: if you are not head over heels in love and fully ready and committed to the needs of marriage... Dont get married!
hbritton
by Member on Apr. 7, 2014 at 8:52 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't buy the recruiter bit.

If you're not feeling it. Don't do it.
Unemployed isn't an issue for me (if he's not just a lazy ass and actually just in between jobs...it happens to lots of people). When I married my husband I KNEW (and still know) I would want to be his wife forever. We both treated it like it was all or nothing. It's not just something you do willy nilly.

Can you imagine being with him for the rest of your lives? As he is right now, not a glorified "he'll change version you hope for?

Can you handle his daily habits?

How is he with money?

Is he the "go out and leave you home" type? Or does he want to be around you?


Don't answer these publicly...just think about them.

Autumn19
by Ruby Member on Apr. 7, 2014 at 8:56 AM
This exactly

Quoting Pandapanda: A recruiter would never suggest terminating parental rights of a child from a former relationship. If anything, they would be on him about providing the support he's responsible for.

Don't marry a man who 1) is unemployed 2) treats it as a rash decision, and 3rd: if you are not head over heels in love and fully ready and committed to the needs of marriage... Dont get married!
KREX0914
by Kristen-Danielle on Apr. 7, 2014 at 9:04 AM

You are completely right. If you aren't "fully happy" (as you put it) then you shouldn't be getting married, baby or no baby. Not to mention in your first trimester your horomones are all ready all screwy, so you probably really don't have any idea how you feel (as you also mentioned).

I know plenty of people who have gotten married because they got pregnant early into their relationship. Some of them didn't work out. Some of them are still married decades later.

I do believe a child's parents should be married. (Even though I never married the father of my firstborn because it didn't feel right and I was very unhappy in the relationship.) But ultimately you have to do what is right for you AND your child. Would it be fair for you future child to have two parents who are in a marriage out of obligation and aren't really happy? How can you raise a happy child without being happy yourself?

KREX0914
by Kristen-Danielle on Apr. 7, 2014 at 9:06 AM

Are you sure that a recruiter can't do that? My mother was told to give me up for adoption (instead of just having my grandmother care for me) if she wanted to join the army. So she decided not to join. She could be lying I suppose, but that is the story I grew up hearing. 

Quoting Pandapanda: A recruiter would never suggest terminating parental rights of a child from a former relationship. If anything, they would be on him about providing the support he's responsible for. Don't marry a man who 1) is unemployed 2) treats it as a rash decision, and 3rd: if you are not head over heels in love and fully ready and committed to the needs of marriage... Dont get married!

 

MorriganzMommy
by Member on Apr. 7, 2014 at 10:13 AM

 

Quoting Pandapanda: A recruiter would never suggest terminating parental rights of a child from a former relationship. If anything, they would be on him about providing the support he's responsible for. Don't marry a man who 1) is unemployed 2) treats it as a rash decision, and 3rd: if you are not head over heels in love and fully ready and committed to the needs of marriage... Dont get married!

 This ^

 

momto1ryen
by Lindsey on Apr. 7, 2014 at 10:35 AM
This. Completely this!

Quoting Pandapanda: A recruiter would never suggest terminating parental rights of a child from a former relationship. If anything, they would be on him about providing the support he's responsible for.

Don't marry a man who 1) is unemployed 2) treats it as a rash decision, and 3rd: if you are not head over heels in love and fully ready and committed to the needs of marriage... Dont get married!
Pandapanda
by Cafe Panda on Apr. 7, 2014 at 10:41 AM

I am 110% sure. 

Quoting KREX0914:

Are you sure that a recruiter can't do that? My mother was told to give me up for adoption (instead of just having my grandmother care for me) if she wanted to join the army. So she decided not to join. She could be lying I suppose, but that is the story I grew up hearing. 

Quoting Pandapanda: A recruiter would never suggest terminating parental rights of a child from a former relationship. If anything, they would be on him about providing the support he's responsible for. Don't marry a man who 1) is unemployed 2) treats it as a rash decision, and 3rd: if you are not head over heels in love and fully ready and committed to the needs of marriage... Dont get married!



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mckenize
by Member on Apr. 7, 2014 at 1:50 PM
2 moms liked this

Dont marry just because your pregnant. Marry him because you Love and Respect him and want to raise a family with him

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