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Pregnancy Pregnancy

Why does it seem so easy to judge pregnant women?

Posted by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:42 AM
  • 105 Replies
Apparently every little choice I've made so far is wrong. I've read books and articles and nothing has changed my mind about breastfeeding or skin to skin or whatever else. You would think that would be enough to get people to leave me alone. I'm getting really sick of people bothering me about it and I've also been told it does not stop once you have the baby.

Hiring help is apparently out of the question if you don't work. In fact since I cannot work my life should be all baby 24/7. Just ignore me. Venting that's all.
by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
pushmug
by Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:46 AM
3 moms liked this

i did the mistake of listening to these so called "advice" with DD 5 yrs ago BUT with my current pregnancy 

they can kiss my big fat a$$

meam4444
by Emerald Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:49 AM

You need to do what is right for you and baby!  I've had a lot of unwanted advice in my day too...it can be so frustrating.  

kajira
by Emma on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:50 AM
3 moms liked this

Ha, I've never had too many issues with breastfeed, unless I did it past 6 months, then people thought I was weird.

Skin to skin has always been recommend to me, by doctors and pediatricians alike, so luckily, no issues there.

I have had to be careful not to mention bedsharing and cosleeping with some people, as they get all offended - same with baby wearing. People think it will make your kid clingy. (it sure didn't with mine. LOL)

What REALLY gets people up is when they learn i've had a homebirth with my last baby, and am now planning a second one.... with twins.

Alluring
by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:54 AM
It's gone past "advice" and straight into "nagging." I wish telling people off would work but this is the first baby on both sides of the family not to mention in our social group so everyone wants a say.
Quoting pushmug:

i did the mistake of listening to these so called "advice" with DD 5 yrs ago BUT with my current pregnancy 

they can kiss my big fat a$$

Alluring
by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 10:56 AM
But what if what's right for you isn't "right" for baby? Not really directed towards just you but asking in general.
Quoting meam4444:

You need to do what is right for you and baby!  I've had a lot of unwanted advice in my day too...it can be so frustrating.  

Devious103102
by Ruby Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 11:56 AM
1 mom liked this

Do what you want with your kid/pregnancy. 

kajira
by Emma on Apr. 14, 2014 at 12:07 PM
2 moms liked this

That rarely happens, but when it does, then you have to make a decision on how you want to handle the situation, sometimes you can find a compromise and meet in the middle.

like, say the baby has /HUGE food allergies and your nursing, your pediatrician recommends formula due to the allergies.... you could do a formula, OR you could compromise with him and cut out everything babies allergic to from youf diet, even it really limits waht you can eat as a mom.

The benefit to baby outweights the sacrafice the mom makes in that situation and works long-term for both involved.

The easy solution for mom would be to switch to a controlled formula.... limited diet and restricted eating is often hard for a mom - but the alternative is not nursing.

It's kind of like I was planning on a breech vaginal delivery with my daughter, there was some risk for her and I with a vaginal delivery, but it was so comparable to the risks of a c-section, I was basically trading one evil for the other. To me, I could always consent to a c-section if I had too, but I couldn't take it back if i did it before it was 100% required.

So it's more about weighing pro's and con's and making decisions based on multiple factors, having back up plans and making decisions that are logical rather than emotional

Quoting Alluring: But what if what's right for you isn't "right" for baby? Not really directed towards just you but asking in general.
Quoting meam4444:

You need to do what is right for you and baby!  I've had a lot of unwanted advice in my day too...it can be so frustrating.  


Alluring
by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 12:42 PM
I've weighed the pros and cons but all my choices are more emotional.
Quoting kajira:

That rarely happens, but when it does, then you have to make a decision on how you want to handle the situation, sometimes you can find a compromise and meet in the middle.

like, say the baby has /HUGE food allergies and your nursing, your pediatrician recommends formula due to the allergies.... you could do a formula, OR you could compromise with him and cut out everything babies allergic to from youf diet, even it really limits waht you can eat as a mom.

The benefit to baby outweights the sacrafice the mom makes in that situation and works long-term for both involved.

The easy solution for mom would be to switch to a controlled formula.... limited diet and restricted eating is often hard for a mom - but the alternative is not nursing.

It's kind of like I was planning on a breech vaginal delivery with my daughter, there was some risk for her and I with a vaginal delivery, but it was so comparable to the risks of a c-section, I was basically trading one evil for the other. To me, I could always consent to a c-section if I had too, but I couldn't take it back if i did it before it was 100% required.

So it's more about weighing pro's and con's and making decisions based on multiple factors, having back up plans and making decisions that are logical rather than emotional

Quoting Alluring: But what if what's right for you isn't "right" for baby? Not really directed towards just you but asking in general.
Quoting meam4444:

You need to do what is right for you and baby!  I've had a lot of unwanted advice in my day too...it can be so frustrating.  

RMslady
by Bronze Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 12:46 PM
My state is VERY pro breastfeeding, pro babywearing. Lol I get looked down on more because I don't make my own babyfood than anything. Although I do avoid topics like bedsharing because it can be such a touchy topic. I usually just nod politely if its someone I don't know. If its someone I do (like my mom on bedsharing) I just make it clear I've made my decision and when she brings it back up I tell her its already been discussed and nothings changed nor will it.
Rosehawk
by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 12:54 PM
3 moms liked this

If too many people are jumping down your throat you can always use a variation of: Thank you for your advise, I'll consider it. Then totally ignore it if you so choose.

This is YOUR baby and YOU get to make the final decisions (with your other half) as to what you do, or not do, with YOUR baby.

Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and most of them stink.

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