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DH mad at me because I won't let him name our son after himself???

Posted by on Apr. 22, 2014 at 11:34 PM
  • 40 Replies
Well we found out today that we are having a boy (16 weeks, my first baby, his second baby). DH has always said he wanted to name his first son after himself...Well I am not okay with that. He has a daughter already and we agreed that this would be our only child in addition to her. I'm just not okay with giving up any input I might've had in naming my only child! We were supposed to go out to dinner and celebrate tonight, I even took off work and everything. On the drive to the restaurant I told DH we are not naming our son after him, but that I'm willing to compromise (keep first and last name but change the middle name?). He wasn't having that at all. He threw such a fit he demanded that I take him home, and as soon as I pulled into the driveway he got out of the car and got straight into his truck and drove to his friend's house. I was so upset I went to my parents' house and ended up celebrating with them instead. I sent him a text asking him why we can't just be in love with our son and spend the next 5-6 months deciding on a name we both like. He says this is just the most important thing in the world to him. I don't understand why he is making such a big deal over this. I'm not backing down though, I feel strongly that we need to compromise on this instead of doing exactly what he wants. Especially now that he is throwing this temper tantrum about it I feel that he is being really selfish. What the heck am I supposed to do???
by on Apr. 22, 2014 at 11:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
VinVanMom
by Member on Apr. 22, 2014 at 11:48 PM
4 moms liked this

He acts like that and wonders why you don't want a jr? I don't want a junior either. He can have the middle name as after him. That's generous. The majority of men don't have a junior. 

MrsHubert
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2014 at 11:56 PM
I didn't want a Jr either. I just don't care for it and neither does DH
bethieboo88
by on Apr. 22, 2014 at 11:56 PM
Wow I'm glad dh hates his common name.

What's his name if you don't mind my asking?

I think he's kind of being immature, no offense. I totally don't blame you. I would want a say in my only child's name as well.
ManicVetTech
by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 12:00 AM

Did you tell him all this prior to getting pregnant? Maybe he assumed you were on board and was excited to find out that he was having a boy and said boy would have his name, and then got his parade rained out?

I am not saying that it excuses his behavior by ANY means, but I know dh and I had discussed names prior to even Ttc. We both already had an idea of names that we would/wouldn't accept or consider. When Dh mentioned wanting to name a boy after his grandfather, I was on board and told him so. IF this was discussed, and you never said no...that could be the reason behind the temper tantrum you see now.

Again, not saying he's right, but just trying to play devil's advocate.

VinVanMom
by Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 12:00 AM
1 mom liked this

When I reread that it sounds like you offered to give the baby hubs first and last name. That is the baby being named after him. Was he drinking? Lol. So you want to choose a middle name? Very generous. 

bethieboo88
by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 12:04 AM
Hmm I see your point. Since our miscarriage in 08, dh wanted to name his son Lucian Anthony. I love Lucas Anthony. However apron finding out dd was a girl, he agreed I can name her, he would name our first son. If this is a boy he will be Lucian Anthony. At least I did think of Anthony.

Quoting ManicVetTech:

Did you tell him all this prior to getting pregnant? Maybe he assumed you were on board and was excited to find out that he was having a boy and said boy would have his name, and then got his parade rained out?

I am not saying that it excuses his behavior by ANY means, but I know dh and I had discussed names prior to even Ttc. We both already had an idea of names that we would/wouldn't accept or consider. When Dh mentioned wanting to name a boy after his grandfather, I was on board and told him so. IF this was discussed, and you never said no...that could be the reason behind the temper tantrum you see now.

Again, not saying he's right, but just trying to play devil's advocate.

malcorrill
by Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 12:10 AM
2 moms liked this

His name is Alexander Paul. I really hate to admit it but I don't really like his first name...He goes by Alex and he's over 6 feet tall covered in tattoos with a few piercings mixed in. Very into hunting and fishing and owns like 7 guns, drives a truck, works for Lowe's. He is probably the manliest man I know and his name is just not very fitting for his personality and I was just hoping to go for something different (Not saying Alexander isn't a manly name, I just don't think I've ever felt like it really fit him personally). And I have no idea where the name Paul comes from, just a random name his parents came up with. I told him obviously the last name will stay the same and I really like the idea of making Alexander the middle name and then we both pick the first name together. But I was willing to compromise and keep the first and last name and only change the middle name, but he is just being very stubborn. I'm honestly really hurt over this. It isn't all about him. Am I really being selfish by saying no to all this? I don't think so. We always talked that if we had a girl he would let me name her, but I always said we would do it together. And he HAS always declared that if he had a son he would name him after himself. But I always told him we would cross that bridge when we came to it. 

ManicVetTech
by on Apr. 23, 2014 at 12:19 AM

I think saying we'll cross that bridge when we reach it is part of the reason he is reacting so...childishly(Yes, he is being a child about it)

That wasn't a "I want some say in my child's name" That was a non-commital, passive aggressive response. If you felt that strongly about the name, you should have spoken up sooner so that he wasn't 'surprised' by it.

That being said, I wouldn't back down at this point either. Partially because I would want some opinion in my child's name, even if it was just a 'I like that!" or "Sure thing" to a name he selected. I also would let him know that behaving like a toddler won't get him his way. 

Quoting malcorrill:

His name is Alexander Paul. I really hate to admit it but I don't really like his first name...He goes by Alex and he's over 6 feet tall covered in tattoos with a few piercings mixed in. Very into hunting and fishing and owns like 7 guns, drives a truck, works for Lowe's. He is probably the manliest man I know and his name is just not very fitting for his personality and I was just hoping to go for something different (Not saying Alexander isn't a manly name, I just don't think I've ever felt like it really fit him personally). And I have no idea where the name Paul comes from, just a random name his parents came up with. I told him obviously the last name will stay the same and I really like the idea of making Alexander the middle name and then we both pick the first name together. But I was willing to compromise and keep the first and last name and only change the middle name, but he is just being very stubborn. I'm honestly really hurt over this. It isn't all about him. Am I really being selfish by saying no to all this? I don't think so. We always talked that if we had a girl he would let me name her, but I always said we would do it together. And he HAS always declared that if he had a son he would name him after himself. But I always told him we would cross that bridge when we came to it. 


baby development

caylalynn
by Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 12:28 AM
I wouldnt back down but i can see why he is upset. Dh and i discussed names before ttx and he had expressed that he wanted our first son to have his and his dads middle name (paul). I had/have no problem with it and had said i didnt so there was no surprises but i also had told him i would not do the whole jr thing because my dad was Albert Fletcher H the third, i personally would hate to be a jr third or forth and an so thankful i wasnt a boy lol. Maybe give him some time to cool down and then try to discuss the whole name deal again :)
malcorrill
by Member on Apr. 23, 2014 at 12:30 AM

Another thing, we were totally shocked by this today. He is one of 7 children, of which he is the only boy and ALL of his sisters have at least two daughters each, but no boys. It was pretty much a miracle that we are going to be blessed with a boy. I honestly thought for sure we would be having a girl lol So I didn't really press the issue in the past because I thought genetics would interfere and there'd be no way we would ever come across this issue!

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