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Pregnancy Pregnancy

Can't seem to get excited-kind of venting

Posted by on May. 7, 2014 at 5:50 PM
  • 18 Replies
My last 3 babies I was SO excited and happy and.connected to my babies as soon as we found out we were expecting. This time though I feel no excitement no connection nothing and I will be 12 weeks Saturday. This baby just freaks me out. I have tried talking to DH but he just brushes it off saying it will come. I'm not so sure. This baby was unplanned and our youngest is a CHD baby who we almost lost and her stuff is still so stressful (shes only 9 months). I'm terrified of another CHD baby I can't handle it all again and our odds were 1 in 100 before her but are now 1 in 20. I'm to a point where I almost wonder if I need to talk to my midwife about this. Every time I really think about it all I just want to cry. I feel so lost idk what to do. To top it off I'm constantly so sick I feel useless around the house because.not much is getting done.

Has anyone else felt like this or feel like this?
by on May. 7, 2014 at 5:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kmqw229
by Ruby Member on May. 7, 2014 at 6:53 PM
What is chd?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
lovemytwo88
by on May. 7, 2014 at 7:21 PM
1 mom liked this

I felt like this with my current pregnancy. I'm 14 weeks with my 3rd. I didn't feel any excitemen,  even though baby was planned, until about 2 weeks ago when I had a dream that I had the baby and just looking at it and holding it in my dream made me feel soooo connected to it and when i woke up I felt totally different. I would just be patient, and it's okay to talk to your midwife about it. I talked to a social worker at my midwife's office about my feelings. She said it was totally normal and she (she's pregnant) even felt the same way for awhile with her current pregnancy. Just be patient and try to be positive!

RMslady
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2014 at 7:28 PM
Congenital heart defect. She was born with a series of 4 defects in the left side of her heart and almost died at 4 days when they discovered her heart was too weak by the time they got her to surgery and had to pump her full of meds to make it strong enough to have a chance. Shes been in a childrens hospital out of state twice for heart proceduressand we are hoping to wait a couple years before we operate again. If it hadn't been caught on her20 week ultrasound she would have gone home from the hospital and died because her stats were perfect but she was actually born going into heart failure.

Quoting kmqw229: What is chd?
RMslady
by Bronze Member on May. 8, 2014 at 12:16 AM
Thank You. I hope it kicks in for me soon. Last one was such a scary experience I had hoped this would be a positive one since it is my last. Lol maybe since you implanted the idea of a dream I'll have one like it. Never know!

Quoting lovemytwo88:

I felt like this with my current pregnancy. I'm 14 weeks with my 3rd. I didn't feel any excitemen,  even though baby was planned, until about 2 weeks ago when I had a dream that I had the baby and just looking at it and holding it in my dream made me feel soooo connected to it and when i woke up I felt totally different. I would just be patient, and it's okay to talk to your midwife about it. I talked to a social worker at my midwife's office about my feelings. She said it was totally normal and she (she's pregnant) even felt the same way for awhile with her current pregnancy. Just be patient and try to be positive!

booaura
by Aurabella on May. 8, 2014 at 12:58 AM
I can't imagine what that is like, but my heart goes out to you. I had our youngest in January, and while we did want one more, we wanted to wait at least two years. I found out when I went in to have an IUD put in that I'm pregnant. Not only that, we are expecting twins. I'm due in December, so I'll have three babies this year. I'm not happy or excited, I'm miserable and scared. My dr is aware, as is my husband. He feels similarly, so he understands. I would talk to your midwife and sit your husband down and explain exactly how you feel, because you need and deserve his support. Hugs!
Devious103102
by on May. 8, 2014 at 1:05 AM

Sounds like the excitement is being held off by fear of something happening to baby and stress from your other baby.  Maybe talking to your midwife about it would be a good thing, help get it off your chest. Good thoughts. 

RMslady
by Bronze Member on May. 8, 2014 at 1:28 AM
Oh my word I just got exhausted THINKING about 3 in one year! Never having delt with a twin pregnancy I can only imagine how your feeling right now. I never realized how scary unplanned pregnancies could be. I hope this will be an easy pregnancy for you!

Quoting booaura: I can't imagine what that is like, but my heart goes out to you. I had our youngest in January, and while we did want one more, we wanted to wait at least two years. I found out when I went in to have an IUD put in that I'm pregnant. Not only that, we are expecting twins. I'm due in December, so I'll have three babies this year. I'm not happy or excited, I'm miserable and scared. My dr is aware, as is my husband. He feels similarly, so he understands. I would talk to your midwife and sit your husband down and explain exactly how you feel, because you need and deserve his support. Hugs!
RMslady
by Bronze Member on May. 8, 2014 at 1:31 AM
Thank You. I'm hoping my 20 week ultrasound with my dd's cardiologist in attendance will help but it seems a million years away.

Quoting Devious103102:

Sounds like the excitement is being held off by fear of something happening to baby and stress from your other baby.  Maybe talking to your midwife about it would be a good thing, help get it off your chest. Good thoughts. 

booaura
by Aurabella on May. 8, 2014 at 1:33 AM
Its scary, and I hate feeling the way I do. I want to be happy and I want to want these babies...but I don't. I've been constantly nauseated for almost a week now. I have some ocean from my last pregnancy, all it does is kind of keep me from throwing up, but doesn't help feeling sick. I have trouble sleeping as well. I hope it gets better. I don't know what I'll do if it doesn't.

When will you know if this baby has chd? That must be the scariest part, the not knowing.


Quoting RMslady: Oh my word I just got exhausted THINKING about 3 in one year! Never having delt with a twin pregnancy I can only imagine how your feeling right now. I never realized how scary unplanned pregnancies could be. I hope this will be an easy pregnancy for you!

Quoting booaura: I can't imagine what that is like, but my heart goes out to you. I had our youngest in January, and while we did want one more, we wanted to wait at least two years. I found out when I went in to have an IUD put in that I'm pregnant. Not only that, we are expecting twins. I'm due in December, so I'll have three babies this year. I'm not happy or excited, I'm miserable and scared. My dr is aware, as is my husband. He feels similarly, so he understands. I would talk to your midwife and sit your husband down and explain exactly how you feel, because you need and deserve his support. Hugs!
Rhyinns.Mommy
by Bronze Member on May. 8, 2014 at 1:40 AM
I know it's hard. :( my son is healthy and I was still not super thrilled about my second. I had lots of legal bills and had to move out of my apartment and I found out I was pregnant all at once. With my first I was so excited I told everyone instantly and had baby showers planned and all sorts of stuff. I had his name planned out before I knew boy or girl. With my second I didn't tell allot of people and even when I found out it was a boy I wanted to cry. I wasn't happy I was disappointed and I couldn't believe I was pregnant so soon after my first. I was so depressed I thought about adoption an even asked for a list of family's... I was always sick and tired. Then I had him. I held him in my arms and I cried. I love him so much now it's hard to even think I considered adoption. I know it'll get better. Make sure you have someone to talk to. It helped me to talk. You can message me if you want. I hope you get excited before I did. :)
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