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Okay! So I'm scared! :(

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:41 AM
  • 48 Replies

Yep... I'll admit it. I'm 31 weeks pregnant and I am SO nervous to have this baby!

I'm going to try to have him naturally but I'm afraid that I wont be strong enough to do it. I'm also afraid that if I do take "drugs" for the pain that I'll look like less of a woman in my dh's eyes. He's already said that the "drugs" are a cop out and that it takes away from the full effect...

(That was not directed at me btw... just general conversation and this was his opinion on epidurals)

Okay... well what if I don't want the damn full effect?! Is that going to make me less of a mother to him?  I'm not good with pain at all! I'm trying so hard to be strong and not show that I'm actually afraid. . . But the more the weeks rack up, the more anxious and uneasy I become.. What if we don't make it to the hospital in time? What if I go into labor early?

I have a daughter but she was born almost 8 years ago. I had an epidural with her and there was only pressure... no real "pain" aside from the contractions that made me decide to get the epidural in the first place.

Ugh... I don't know.. I just feel crappy right now and I can't call anyone to talk to them so I resort to this site and people whom I don't even know. I guess I just needed to vent for a minute.

bummed_out

by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mommyflaw
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:48 AM

I wanted natural and I would just ride every contraction out by swearing I was getting an epi and then once it eased saying 'Alright, that wasn't so bad and I can do another one' until it was too late to get one.

rmgriffberg
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:49 AM
1 mom liked this

 talk to your dh. you need to get this off your chest before labor. let him know you are going to try to go naturally but you need to know he will support you no matter what you choose.

HisUsmcWifey
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:56 AM
2 moms liked this
Your DH sounds like a charmer. I'd tell him to stop acting like he knows how painful labor and childbirth is and let you do what you feel is best, even if that includes meds. If my husband ever said that to me id flip my shit on him.
DACIA79
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:13 PM
He doesn't have to feel your pain.

If you want to have your baby with no pain killers that's your choice. Sign up for childbirth class there are lots of different methods available.

If that doesn't work there is no shame in getting a epidural. You don't see people getting dental work without pain relief.

I've gone through natural childbirth 3 times and there are benefits to doing so. Honestly though its the worst pain I have ever felt in my life and I have a good tolerance for pain.

Good luck
WillowRose24
by Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:14 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting HisUsmcWifey: Your DH sounds like a charmer. I'd tell him to stop acting like he knows how painful labor and childbirth is and let you do what you feel is best, even if that includes meds. If my husband ever said that to me id flip my shit on him.

 It was just his opinion and he's entitled to it. He can think whatever he wants. It wasn't like he was talking down to me or anything of that nature... He's really a very loving and caring man.

He's just WAY more "granola" than I am and he's all for natural EVERYTHING. From food, to medicine, cleaning supplies, and yes... even childbirth. - Even though he said that he felt needing or wanting pain meds was a cop out he did go on later to tell me that he would be behind me no matter what I chose to do because the bottom line is that it's my decision.

- I'm the one who manifested the crazy idea that he may think less of me... he probably wont... but the thought is already in my mind and hard to shake..-

He's worried about the effects of the epidural on our son at birth... Making him more drowsy/less aware because he's "drugged" (He's done his "Google" research and I swear times like this make me wish Google would just shut down! lol)

kmqw229
by Ruby Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:35 PM
You need to do what is right for your body. There are other methods of pain relief besides an epidural.
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Larsbug
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:36 PM
1 mom liked this

 I'd like for his to try and endure the pain... then have him open his mouth.

It doesn't make you less of a woman to have one, and if he thinks that then he doesn't deserve you. You need to talk to him about this stuff, it's not good to keep it from him. Being scared is normal.

alkakfnxcpoem
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:38 PM

I was planning to go all natural but things didn't turn out as planned. I'm honestly so glad I got the epidural. I really enjoyed my birth experience and felt like a superhero for a while afterward. It was the fear that got me to get the epidural. That plus I was already on a bunch of drugs (induced due to pregnancy-induced hypertension) so I figured I might as well not be in pain while feeling sleepy drunk from magnesium sulfate. 

Anyway, my husband was behind me when I was trying all natural. But he was so glad when I got the epidural because he hated seeing me in pain and not really being able to do anything. My guess would be your husband will feel similarly when the time comes.

JjcH0911
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:38 PM
My first two were induced and I had the epi
*) first baby I wanted the epi as soon as possible

*) second baby was induced and got epi last minute, I wasn't in any pain but I chickened out wanting to go natural , so I got it anyways.

*) third baby, I had No idea I was in labor . Literally made it to the hospital and in a labor suite with my shirt still on , 5 mins exactly later baby #3 was born, so I didn't have a choice and went completely natural, I was shaking the whole time because I didn't think I could do it. I also didn't get an IV before labor or after . Baby was born so quick she ended up in the nicu
1L2CMommy
by Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:45 PM
Your strength or "womanhood" is not based on whether you take pain medicine when your in pain or not. How absurd. Would you get a root canal with pain meds? How about back surgery? Are you going to use any medical assistants for this birth, or are you just going to take a leather strap and go squat in the woods? If you are planning on usi n g medical assistance, why in the world would you deny yourself the one thing that's guaranteed to increase your comfort level and make it easier on you.
Also ask your loving, supportive DH if he would like to shit out a watermelon from his asshole without any pain meds just to prove how strong, manly, and wonderful a father he is.
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