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Pregnancy Pregnancy

Wanna read my vent?

Posted by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 7:30 PM
  • 12 Replies

So I'm almost 6 weeks pregnant with number 4.  HOWEVER, number 3 was born 5 years ago and I'm currently 34 and a little nervous.  My OB will not see me until I'm 10 weeks along.  The receptionists words were "because you still might miscarry and we don't want to waste appointments on people who aren't going to have a viable pregnancy because if you do start to miscarry there's nothing we can do anyway".  Well, OK, I have a lot of questions but if I have to go through an advice nurse, I'll do so.  Today I'm on the phone with the advice nurse and mention the menstrual style cramping I've been having which I was told was normal to have early in pregnancy so long as not accompanied by bleeding.  I asked if sex was OK and she said yes...to which I told her I had wanted to make sure because 9 years ago a different OB had told me he wanted me to go 10 days with no cramps before having sex with my husband and I ended up cramping the whole pregnancy so we went 9 months with no sex.  The nurse says, well if you guys don't mind doing that then it would probably be better and that it just depends on how badly I want the pregnancy.

First I'm told the cramping is normal and that sex is fine and then 5 seconds later why don't we just wait 9 months for sex again?

And whats with the "there's nothing you can do to cause or stop a miscarriage....but don't do this, this or this and if this happens make sure to do this and not this...Oh, but we don't want to see you yet in case you do miscarry but if you start to miscarry call immediately and go to the emergency room".

I feel like I'm getting the information run around and I'm getting frusterated that it's not at least coming from the doctors mouth, who, for how hard it's been to try to get in to see him, might as well be the president.  

and, yes, I'm venting but am getting SOOO frusterated. 

by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 7:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MixedCooke
by on Aug. 7, 2014 at 1:28 AM

I am 37 weeks pregnant and am 36 years old.  I had sex at 36 weeks pregnant and just yesterday.  My docs wont generally see you until at least 8 weeks pregnant mianly because by then you will see a little baby versus just an empty sac or something.  That receptionist making that sort of statement would warrant me having a stern discussion with the office manager of that doctor and explaining that if she is the face of their practice that I wouldnt be surprised if they were losing patients.  Sex during pregnancy is safe unless there are certain complications related to it such as placenta previa, miscarriage risk, preterm labor, etc.  I had 2 miscarriages prior to this pregnancy and also 2 preterm births.

SuperTT
by Member on Aug. 7, 2014 at 8:51 AM
1 mom liked this

I would seriously be looking for another Dr. if they told me that...

combatlibby
by Member on Aug. 7, 2014 at 9:47 AM

Like others that have replies, the face of the practice (receptionist) should definitely be more wise about their wording. If it's the policy of the practice to have a first OB appointment at 10 weeks, that's one thing. But if a patient calls with what they feel is a problem, the receptionist should have a nurse or doctor return your call to determine if a "problem visit" is necessary rather than an "OB visit." The difference being that you feel a gynecological problem is occurring.

I previously worked in reception and billing for an OB office so it saddens me to hear someone so insenstive answering the lines for any office! It was good that you called an advice nurse, but it sort of sounds like they were just trying to cover their butt when advising you.

So sorry that you're dealing with the extra stress. Perhaps speak to a manager the next time you call or ask for their name so you can write a letter about your experience.

 Pregnancy Ticker

army_wifey_06
by Silver Member on Aug. 7, 2014 at 10:36 AM
I would find a new OB!
organicone
by Member on Aug. 7, 2014 at 12:55 PM

That how I feel...they are trying to cover they're butts from every angle and it really just results in them sound ing like they don't know what they're talking aobut at all!  

Quoting combatlibby:

Like others that have replies, the face of the practice (receptionist) should definitely be more wise about their wording. If it's the policy of the practice to have a first OB appointment at 10 weeks, that's one thing. But if a patient calls with what they feel is a problem, the receptionist should have a nurse or doctor return your call to determine if a "problem visit" is necessary rather than an "OB visit." The difference being that you feel a gynecological problem is occurring.

I previously worked in reception and billing for an OB office so it saddens me to hear someone so insenstive answering the lines for any office! It was good that you called an advice nurse, but it sort of sounds like they were just trying to cover their butt when advising you.

So sorry that you're dealing with the extra stress. Perhaps speak to a manager the next time you call or ask for their name so you can write a letter about your experience.


CutieCrab
by Bronze Member on Aug. 7, 2014 at 1:01 PM

Wait and see what the doctor says. I have heard some doctor's won't see a person until she is 12 weeks pregnant.

LoveNaCupcake
by Bronze Member on Aug. 7, 2014 at 1:04 PM
This!

Quoting combatlibby:

Like others that have replies, the face of the practice (receptionist) should definitely be more wise about their wording. If it's the policy of the practice to have a first OB appointment at 10 weeks, that's one thing. But if a patient calls with what they feel is a problem, the receptionist should have a nurse or doctor return your call to determine if a "problem visit" is necessary rather than an "OB visit." The difference being that you feel a gynecological problem is occurring.

I previously worked in reception and billing for an OB office so it saddens me to hear someone so insenstive answering the lines for any office! It was good that you called an advice nurse, but it sort of sounds like they were just trying to cover their butt when advising you.

So sorry that you're dealing with the extra stress. Perhaps speak to a manager the next time you call or ask for their name so you can write a letter about your experience.

NoraDun
by Platinum Member on Aug. 7, 2014 at 9:16 PM

There is nothing they can do to prevent a MC so there really is no point in being seen so early. 

Sex is fine unless you have bleeding

Cramping is normal

Good Luck

want10more
by Member on Aug. 8, 2014 at 4:13 AM

wow that's crap advice. i was 41 w/ my last baby and that baby was just as important as the rest! i'd not only fire your dr, i'd bitch slap em! sheesh right?

i had a lot of cramping w/ alllllll of my kids, they were all high risk. if you feel cramping again, lay down, put your legs up and have someone rub them. and drink a lot of water. that's what MY dr told me to do. i was also told to stay away from sex during cramping..... orgasms constrict the uterus, which is fine during a normal pregnancy but kinda dicey if you're having probs. that's what i was told anyway.

tc of yourself and sorry you have to go thru this!

Devious103102
by Ruby Member on Aug. 8, 2014 at 12:01 PM

Unfortunately being pregnant is a pretty big circle of confusion. Everyone you see will give you different information, mostly based on their practices guidelines. Personally, 1-sex is fine, 2-cramping is normal, 3-keeping hydrated and not over doing it can help avoid some issues BUT some things are out of your hand. Sometimes there's nothing you can do to avoid/pervent a loss, you can TRY, but that doesn't mean it's going to work.  RELAX and good luck.

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