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seeking support

Posted by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:26 PM
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I'm 7 weeks along and its my second pregnancy. Fully intended to concieve and excited to give my toddler son a sibling. However, this pregnancy couldn't be more different than the first. My husband always says "its like you were high in life when you were pregnant with our son!". Now I'm feeling queasy (no puke...yet), really moody (almost mean), crappy sleep, and very VERY depressed. I have only told family, who are happy but have never really been the supportive type. I'm dying to tell my friends but I want to wait and the crappy part is, they are all having fertility troubles. My main dilemma is my depression. I need women I can talk to! Share my mood swings with and feel my pain when its been a hard day. I have to put it out there that I am an all natural kinda gal. I don't like taking meds. And I did 100% natural birth with my first and loved it! So I don't want advice on what pills I should pop to solve my problem because it won't. It just masks it and I like to be intune with my body. So ladies, can you give me words of comfort? I'm so sick of crying at the dinner table because I can't keep it together for 10 mins.! Thanks!
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 9:26 PM
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by Silver Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:02 PM
I'm not really one for popping pills at this point either, but there may still be things you can do. What have you tried so far?

I'm a lot more moody this time around. Feels like I've lost a bit of myself in that sense, because I'm not normally an emo person.
by Bronze Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:02 PM
Its a girl congrats
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 11:42 PM
Not every pregnancy is the same. Sucks to be sick i was with my first but, second and my current i feel great so you will make it. You shouldn't feel bad telling your friends even though they are having issues doesn't mean you can't be happy good luckp!
by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2014 at 12:22 AM
Did you have symptoms of depression before pregnancy? The surge of hormones can contribute a lot to this if it's more of a seasonal thing. The first trimester is so hard and in my experience it is worse with each pregnancy (I know that's not the case for everyone). It will pass. Just hang in there. Rest, eat what you can when you can, and try to do things for yourself.
by on Nov. 5, 2014 at 8:43 AM
Definitely try to do things for yourself. Get out of the house and do things you enjoy. And do find someone you are comfortable confiding in. I know when I had PPD, I went to the doctor and she was really understanding and didn't want to jump to medications unless it got really severe. It didn't...I confided in people and I got out of the house and did things. Part of my problem then was stress (hubby was deployed and I was raising a teen brother-in-law).

I've been having issues with a bit of depression now...I'm 5 weeks pregnant. But I know that most of mine is due to stress from our current situation (an additional family living with us and raising my teen nephew who is still learning proper behavior). But my faith in God I'd helping me amazingly this time. I now have the knowledge that we aren't given anything that we can't overcome, deal with, or accomplish. It's definitely not always easy, but we aren't given anything impossible.

With my third pregnancy, I had just landed my dream job but my husband had gone away for military training and was looking at being away from home for two years. As the weeks went in, I was crying more and more. I would cry to and from work, while in the bathroom at work, in bed at was terrible. I realized I needed a change and then I realized that I needed to move to be with my husband while he was gone. So I quit my job and moved from Massachusetts to Virginia at nearly 30 weeks. That was all the change I needed. I got a little better with the planning of the move but it was stressful to make such a big change. But when my family was back together again, I was my normal happy self all if a sudden.

It sounds like yours might be caused by hormones mostly if not completely. Look for ways to make yourself feel more truly relaxed and happy. And evaluate to see if there is a change that needs to happen in your life.
by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2014 at 9:32 AM

I have gone through a lot of depression this pregnancy, so I definitely relate. This wasn't a planned pregnancy for me, so it's been very hard to accept and I've had a lot of bad days. I also avoid meds, so I've been doing things naturally. My midwife recommends supplimenting with omegas, b vitamins, and an amino acid called 5htp, which helps the body produce and regulate serotonin. Honestly I've just come to the point where I accept the bad days with the good, and realize that it's my hormones making me feel this way. She I'm feeling hormonal and depressed, I take time alone so I don't lose it. It's hard sometimes with my 5 and 7 yo so get alone time, but sometimes just heading upstairs to take a long shower (and a good cry) helps a lot.

by on Nov. 5, 2014 at 9:56 AM
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I am with you!  I am HORRIBLY moody this time around!  I haven't hit the depression yet but I'm sure that's coming.  I am exactly 8 weeks today.  Have you thought about essential oils at all?  Those would be a natural way to help you deal with the depression and maybe help with it.  Also, a sun lamp I have heard also works wonders!  Just a couple ideas!  You are most certainly not alone in this struggle!  I may not have the depression part of things but my anxiety is constantly through the roof!  My doctor has picked up on this and has agreed to see me every 2 weeks instead of once a month.  Good luck!  You can message me if you want to chat!  I have been in your shoes so many times, it's crazy!  

by on Nov. 5, 2014 at 10:31 AM

:( I'm so sorry. I wouldn't really go for pills either, but one essential oil I love in a diffuser is Bergamot. It's citrusy and uplifting, and i'll pair it with peppermint a lot of the time. Just gives me a little boost. The other thing is, it might help you to be busy when you are feeling your worst. My husband struggles with depression, so I know this isn't the easiest thing to do, but maybe if you can jam-pack your day a little bit it will help keep your mind off things? Spread errands out so you have to do one or two every day, get some crafts going for the baby (I know that's a little tricky before you know the sex, but it's doable), make really complex dinners so your mind is occupied, that kind of thing. I also have been known to have ridiculously bouncy, upbeat music blaring in my iPod on the days I'm having a hellacious mood. It's hard to be sad/mad/upset when you are singing to Michael Jackson's "the way you make me feel". So there's a few suggestions. 

On a more personal note - I've been really struggling with this pregnancy, too. I've felt a lot more queasy, restless, moody, irritable, etc. Not sure why, but it's been a lot more difficult this time around. Best of luck to you love! 

by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2014 at 10:37 AM

For the nausea I ate a lot of ginger or sour things like lemons or citrus fruits.  It helped me more than pills could.  For the moodiness I just had to ride it out for the most part.  My second pregnancy was much rougher than my first and I was really grumpy a lot because it's quite a bit of work to chase around a toddler while feeling sick with pregnancy and also working outside of the house (if you do).  Good luck!  Things will get better, the beginning is rough though.

by on Nov. 5, 2014 at 10:44 AM
This is my first attempt in talking to someone. That's all I've tried this far. I figure friends are cheaper than therapy ;-) and since I can't tell my friends, I'd talk to other women who could be having the same troubles.
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